10,000 Kisses in The Air

Samurai Teaching ~ Sensational Living recently had its 10,000th visitor. A little over one year ago I came home from a class on blogging and didn't want to forget what I had learned. So I posted a poem I had written for my daughter Iszabella-Esperanza called "Kisses in the Air".

When she saw it, she and her sisters and brother thought it was so cool I began to post more as a sort of multi-media memory book for them. Soon I began to receive positive comments from around the world and began to share ideas and thoughts that made sense to me.

Good intentions can create good things in life. This blog started off with one real, well-intentioned kiss, and has been given 10,000 back. Now that's a lot of love!

Here's the post that started it all. Click the title to go to the actual post and read the comments I received. After you read them you'll see why I continued to write. Thank you to those first 10 people, I only knew one of them. Encouraging words DO make a difference and ARE very powerful.

Kisses in the Air

I wrote this in my head as I watched my seven-year-old daughter, Iszabella, play her first softball game.

Through the chain link fence,
I see a little girl.

She's playing in the outfield.
Playing in her own little world.

She keeps glancing over,
making sure Daddy's still there.

I kiss my hand and blow on it,
Sending her kisses in the air.

Whenever I feel down, I think of my children and realize how fortunate I am to be their father.

- Adam Stuart
July 27, 2006


Be a Hero to a Child

"Sexual abuse destroys the lives of thousands of innocent children everyday."

To live life to its very fullest is hard enough. Believing you can do it after going through abuse makes it nearly impossible. Abuse strips one of self-confidence, importance and self-worth. In effect, it destroys one's inner strength. Life becomes lost; the waking to the drab of one dead new dawn after another.

I believe we are capable of being both lovers and fighters, especially when it comes to fighting for what you love. If your Yang responds to this particular message of love, let it flow into your Yin and become part of the BE A CHILD'S HERO program.

My new friend here on MySpace, Maria DiGiovanni, introduced this to me and knows much more than I do. If you'd like to know more, please follow the links in this article or find her pic on my top friends.

Who you are has a whole lot to do with WHAT YOU DO WITH WHO YOU ARE. Where most people say "that's too bad" about an unfortunate situation, Maria agrees that it is too bad, AND DOES SOMETHING about it.

She is no more wonderful than the person who feels terrible but does nothing with those feelings; she's just making a more wonderful impact in the world by doing something with her feelings............like becoming a hero to child.

If this program makes you feel, allow those feelings to move you to action and become who you are, in this case, a hero!


The most important sexual abuse article on this site!

It is possible to greatly decrease the chances of your child being sexually abused. How do you do this you ask? Be A Child's Hero is committed to offering free educational information about Sexual Abuse Prevention and Sex Offender Behavior. Please check with us often as we add new articles and update this site. We here at Be A Child's Hero Network (BACHNET) believe that Sexual Abuse can be prevented. Sexual Abuse destroys the lives of thousands of innocent children everyday. Sexual Abusers account for a growing number of the prison populations throughout the United States. Sexual Abusers utilize pornography, obscene writings, and other abusers to spread their filth to others. We at BACHNET believe that every person can Be A Child's Hero by learning everything about sexual abuse, sexual abusers, molesters, exhibitionists, rapists, pornographers, and any other type of person who would want to sexually abuse a child. The key to sexual abuse prevention is information, education and guidance about sexual abuse and sexual abusers – the how, why, when, who, and what. Every person can help to prevent or stop sexual abuse. Be a part of the solution and become educated about sexual abuse and the sex offenders who abuse and getting your questions answered. Every person can help to prevent or stop sexual abuse. Be a part of the solution and become an educated person about sexual abuse and the sex offenders who abuse.

First, lets talk about how this article came about. As a person who works with Sex Offenders, I have been continually asked, "How do I protect my child/children from molesters?" The answer is very complicated and detailed. I have attempted to narrow it down to a few simple steps. Yet, these steps will cause the most controversy, because they are uncomfortable to do, and people will worry about hurting a family member's or friends' feelings. Yet, these steps will provide more protection for your child than you will ever know. The reason you will never know it is because you are not a Sex Offender. Only a Sex Offender (or a Sex Offender Therapist) will know how effective this plan is. I have spent a great deal of time talking and questioning sex offenders about this plan and the overwhelming majority said it would have prevented them from abusing their victims. Why? Because the risk of getting caught is too high. More reasons are listed below in some of the steps. I realize this is a very sensitive subject and regretfully most people do not discuss this subject until their child is abused. This is what has to change. The way to protect your children is to make this subject an open topic within the family.

Now, let's talk about who your children are at the most risk from. The overwhelming majority of all child sexual abusers (90-95%)[1] abuse a family member or family friend. There are varying statistics on how many children are actually abused each year, but on average 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are abused each year (these vary greatly depending on which source is quoted and because a lot of sexual abuse goes unreported).. With that in mind, how do you deter somebody that you trust? Believe me if your child is being targeted by a sex offender, the chances are extremely high that you trust this person. NEVER think that it won't happen to your children and not do anything to prevent it. If your child is being targeted the chances are great that he/she is a person you trust.. The reasons why and how are too in-depth to go into in this article, but will appear in a later one.

To actually deter, prevent, and or stop your child from being sexually abused (it is possible that it may be happening now) will take your continued support and reassurance to your child. I say this because this is not something you do only once – it must be done often! Regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you feel – you must do these things for your child's sake. Here are some things I believe will help make your child safer and then I will tell you why it will work:

1. BOTH parents (together) talk with your children about sexual abuse. Talk to them alone or together if more than one child-whichever you feel your child/children will be the most comfortable with, and begin as soon as your child can understand sentences and knows the difference between right and wrong on some level. Tell them what inappropriate touching is, and that it is unacceptable from anyone –INCLUDING you as the parents (see last page for books on this subject). I can't emphasize that last point enough. So many offenders tell their victims that it is OK because they are their Dad or Mom. So tell them together that it is not alright from anyone. Tell them to watch out for people who "jokingly" talk about sex, or that seem to "accidentally" walk in on them when they are in the bathroom or changing clothes – anytime that the child may be undressing. You as the parent can think of other times like these to give as examples. As your child grows older and matures both emotionally and mentally you can increase the depth of these discussions, but never believe that you can stop having them too soon. Continue these until your child understands these things completely and then continue to reassure them of your support. For more details on what to tell your children go to:

http://beachildshero.com/abusetalk.htm or http://www.beachildshero.com/soarticles.htm for a complete list of articles

2. Develop a network in advance for your children and involve them in the selection of who goes on that list. It should be a list that your children are comfortable with-not you. This is a network of people that your child can turn to in the event they are being sexually abused or feels that someone might be setting them up for sexual abuse. Never make the mistake of believing your child does not need this network, because they do. Not only do they need this network, they need your permission to go to any of them in the event they are abused. It's not that they actually need your permission, it's that they need to know ahead of time that you, as the parents, won't be upset with them and that they won't get into trouble if they do. This is extremely important, because if the offender is family, your child already feels very confused, scared and would feel even more uncomfortable and confused if he/she had to tell Mom what Dad is doing, or vise-versa. Sex Offenders know this and use it against your children to keep them quite. Update this list with your children often, especially as your child grows older and matures emotionally and mentally, and at least once a year and make any revisions to it. Let your child know that it is alright for them to go to anyone else that is not on the list if they have to.

3. Tell your child that if something does happen to them to tell at least two people on that list and to keep telling until the abuse stops. That if they are abused that an offender may tell them – it is their fault, or that they will get into trouble, or that they will be taken away, or that you ,as the parents will stop loving them and will hate them. Tell them ahead of time that these will never happen and are not true. Sex Offenders use these lies very effectively to silence their victims, and tell them that. When you take away an offenders ability to get his victim to keep silent you take away his power and his desire to target your child. Click here for more details on lies by molesters:


4. Make it a point to reassure your children constantly. The more comfortable they are the more confidence they build and their self-confidence can be a very strong deterrent to most sex offenders – Sex Offenders typically stay away from children with strong self confidence because they believe they couldn't get them to keep their terrible secrets.

5. Let all the people on your child's network list know that they are on it. Let them know your child has your permission to contact them in the event something happens and ask if they are alright with it. (Then tell them about this plan that you are doing so they can do it with their children.)

6. This one is one of the most important steps I can tell you about. This step is the one EVERY other abuse prevention plan doesn't tell you about, but it's the most important. In addition to those on your child's network, let ALL of your family and friends, as well as, your child's friends parents – especially those that your child is closely involved with – sleepovers and such - know about this plan in detail! No matter how uncomfortable it maybe, because trust me - it is not only important - but vital to your child's safety. Also, tell all your new friends about it as well – never believe you can stop doing it. I'll list all the reasons why next.

7. Now for why this will be effective with deterring a sex offender (it's not absolute- but it would have deterred the majority of offenders I have interveiwed). By doing these things and going over them with your child often – updating your network, friends, neighbors, etc. – you are letting anyone that is a potential sex offender (active or inactive) know that you, your child, and friends are prepared for them. That their lies will not be believed by your child and your child WILL tell on them without any hesitation. I'm sure you are wondering how will an offender know these things? Simple – YOU told them already! Remember what was said earlier about 90-95% of all child sexual abuse victims are victimized by family or friends? So, if your child is/was being targeted by an offender the chances are enormous that he/she is someone that you know and trust and could be even someone on your child's network – that's why you have your child tell 2 people on that list – it provides and extra safety measure for your child. Because a sex offender takes advantage of children's vulnerabilities, being a victim of previous sexual abuse is a big one that they could easily exploit. By following this plan you have in effect told these potential offenders they are going to get caught ahead of time. Sex Offenders generally target children where the risk of getting caught is sufficiently low enough to be worth the risk they are taking. This plan puts your children in, what I believe to be, an unacceptable risk category. This means they will target someone else and leave your child alone. Sex Offenders typically keep a mental note of potential victims for future use and by doing this plan they would be taking your child off that list. As disgusting as that sounds it is very true. That is why telling every one you know about this plan is so important. That is really the secret to its success. Afterall, for years parents have been telling their children about inappropriate touching, the lies, staying away from strangers and other things about child molesters, but this hasn't prevented a lot of children from being abused. It probably was the reason the abuse ended when it did, but it had very little to do with true prevention. That's because no one was telling the potential offender ahead of time. Telling any would be offender that your child is prepared for them WILL scare most of them off.

One thing I will assure you, when you stop letting people (friends, family, neighbors, etc. know about this plan, a molester could be just waiting for the opportunity. So, please don't ever stop working this plan, inform everyone you know and that your child comes in close contact with, including teachers, coaches, ministers, etc. In essence, by you and your family working this plan, you would be making it virtually impossible for most offenders to hurt your child. I must tell you that this does not make your children 100% safe. There are still those sex offenders that do chose children that are strangers (they are a very small percentage of all child sexual abusers 6% to 9%). That's where the talks of avoiding strangers in cars and stuff are still vitally important to continue. There are also those offenders who are so arrogant that believe they won't get caught.

This article was written after years of interviewing and studying sex offenders and their targeting methods. We went straight to the experts –the Molesters. They are the true experts in the field of Child Molesting – the how, the why, the who, etc.. The problem is most sex offenders aren't willing to talk about these things. The reasons for that should be obvious—It would make it harder for them to continue doing what they enjoy - sexually abusing children. We interveiwed untreated sex offenders, but got our most reliable information from Treated Sex Offenders and have learned and studied their targeting methods and have discovered a lot of similarities – which is how this article came about. It is my hope that this article can help to make your children safer..

I have provided a sample 'form' type letter that can be used, if you chose, to notify family and friends about this Abuse Protection Plan to simplify a possibly uncomfortable task. Possibly the only thing you need to do is send/give them a copy of this plan, and the related articles, so they can be working it also. If everyone is doing it the rate of child sexual abuse would drop dramatically. It is about protecting your children and it is vitally important that you inform everyone including all family, trust me, the person you overlook or think surely he/she would never do anything like that is the one that may come back to haunt you. So please don't overlook anyone – IT REALLY DOES MATTER! The form is included on the last page. I hope it helps.

For more related articles about this topic and others about sex offenders go to or click here:






A new book that provides an excellent source of information about how to identify a child molester and how to protect your children from child molesters are Identifying Child Molesters and Journal of Child Sexual Abuse.

An excellent guide for teaching your children about sexual abuse is A Very Touching Book by Jan Hindman; for teens No Is Not Enough by Caren Adams, Jennifer Fay, and Jan-Loreen Martin; for adults By Silence Betrayed by John Crewdson.

I hope and pray that this article was informative and that you implement it as soon as possible.


TO: Our Family and Friends

From: The _________________________ Family

Our family is working our Abuse Prevention Plan and is notifying ALL our family and friends that we have an Abuse Prevention Plan in place to protect our children from being sexually abused. We have decided to take a more direct approach to our child's/children's safety.

Some of you may be asked to be a part of our child's/children's contact network, but that is our child's decision. Please do not be offended if you are not chosen, after all they still may contact you if they feel they need to.

We also hope that in no way that this letter offends you. We know this letter does not apply to the overwhelming majority of people in society, but there are those who it does apply to. After learning that the largest amount of victims are abused by family and friends, we believe that in our child's/children's best interest we must do these things to safeguard them. In fact, we expect the same from our family and friends and expect to receive similar letters or discussions, and eagerly await them. We have enclosed a copy of the actual Abuse Prevention Plan for your convenience.

We are letting everyone know we have discussed at great length everything in the abuse Prevention Plan with our child/children. Our child/children are well prepared for any one who would want to hurt them and have our unconditional love, support and reassurance and know not to believe anything else. They have also been well informed on typical lies that are told to innocent victims to silence them. Our children have numerous people to contact in the event someone is trying to hurt them. We are committed to ensuring our child's/children's safety and will review, reinforce and update this plan with them often.

We would expect no less from our families and friends because we know you love your children as we do ours. Thank you for letting us into your home with such a sensitive subject. But, as we have learned, it is that sensitivity – a reluctance to talk about this – that allows these perpetrators to hurt our children.




©2003. All Rights Reserved by Be A Child's Hero.


[1] Actual statistic is 92.5% taken (n=301) from an OK Sex Offender Treatment facility in 2002 (Actual statistics vary depending on what source is used.



Bloopers from Sunday School Students

  • Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.

  • Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.

  • The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

  • The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
  • Tips on Saving Your Life

    A friend of mine passed this along to me. After I read it I thought it worthy of being passed on again to all of you. May you never need this knowledge. But if you do, at least you have the knowledge of what to do.

    Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or love
    >one's life.
    >Because of recent abductions
    >in daylight hours,refresh yourself
    >of these things to do
    >in an emergency situation...
    >This is for you,
    >and for you to share
    >with your wife,
    >your children,
    >everyone you know.
    >After reading these 9 crucial tips ,
    >forward them to someone you care about.
    >It never hurts to be careful
    >in this crazy world we live in.
    >1 Tip from Tae Kwon Do :
    >The elbow
    >is the strongest point
    >on your body.
    >If you are close enough to use it,
    >2. Learned this from a tourist guide
    >in New Orleans
    >If a robber asks
    >for your wallet and/or purse,
    >Toss it away from you...
    >chances are
    >that he is more interested
    >in your wallet and/or purse
    >than you,
    >and he will go
    >for the wallet/purse.
    >3. If you are eve r thrown
    >into the trunk of a car,
    >kick out the back tail lights
    >and stick your arm out the hole
    >and start waving like crazy.
    >The driver won't see you,
    >but everybody else will.
    >This has saved lives.
    >4 Women have a tendency
    >to get into their cars after shopping,
    >eating, working, etc.,
    >and just sit (doing their checkbook,
    >or making a list, etc.
    >DON'T DO THIS!)
    >The predator
    >will be watching you,
    >and this is the perfect opportunity
    >for him to get in
    >on the passenger side,
    >put a gun to your head,
    >and tell you where to go.
    >a. If someone
    >is in the car
    >with a gun
    >to your head
    >Instead gun the engine
    >and speed into anyt hing,
    >wrecking the car.
    >Your Air Bag will save you.
    >If the person is
    >in the back seat
    >they will get the worst of it .
    >As soon as the car crashes
    >bail out and run.
    >It is better than having them
    >find your body
    >in a remote location.
    >5 A few notes about getting
    >into your car in a parking lot,
    >or parking garage:
    >A) Be aware:
    >look around you,
    >look into your car,
    >at the passenger side floor ,
    >and in the back seat
    >B..) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger
    >door .
    >Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans
    >while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
    >C..) Look at the car
    >parked on the driver's side
    >of your vehicle,
    >and the passenger side.
    >If a male is sitting alone
    >in the seat nearest your car,
    >you may want to walk back
    >into the mall, or work,
    >and get a guard/policeman
    >to walk you back out.
    >IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than
    >6. ALWAYS
    >take the elevator
    >instead of the stairs.
    >(Stairwells are horrible places
    >to be alone
    >and the perfect crime spot.
    >This is especially true at NIGHT!)
    >7. If the predator has a gun
    >and you are not under his control,
    >The predator will only hit you
    >(a running target)
    >4 in 100 times;
    >And even then,
    >it most likely
    >be a vital organ.
    >Preferably !
    >in a zig -zag pattern!
    >8. As women,
    >we are always trying
    >to be sympathetic:
    >STOP !
    >It may get you raped,
    >or killed.
    > ;Ted Bundy,
    >the serial killer,
    >was a good-looking,
    >well educated man,
    >who ALWAYS played
    >on the sympathies
    >of unsuspecting women.
    >He walked with a cane,
    >or a limp,
    >and often asked
    >"for help"
    >into his vehicle
    >or with his vehicle,
    >which is when he abducted
    >his next victim.
    >************* Here it is *******
    >9. Another Safety Point:
    >Someone just told me
    >that her friend heard
    >a crying baby on her porch
    >the night before last,
    >and she called the police
    >because it was late
    >and she thought it was weird.
    >The police told her
    >"Whatever you do,
    >DO NOT
    >open the door."
    >The lady
    >then said that
    >it sounded like the baby
    >had crawled near a window,
    >and she was worried
    >that it would crawl
    >to the street
    >and get run over.
    >T he policeman said,
    >"We already have a unit on the way,
    >whatever you do,
    >DO NOT open the door."
    >He told her that they think
    >a serial killer
    >has a baby's cry recorded
    >and uses it to coax
    >women out of their homes
    >thinking that someone
    >dropped off a baby
    >He said they have not verified it,
    >but have had several calls
    >by women saying that
    >they hear baby's cries
    >outside their doors
    >when they're home alone
    >at night.
    >Please pass this on and
    >DO NOT
    >open the door
    >for a crying baby ----
    >e-mail should probably
    >be taken seriously because
    >the Crying Baby theory
    >was mentioned on
    >America 's Most Wanted
    >this past Saturday
    >when they profiled
    >the serial killer in Louisiana
    >I'd like you
    >to forward this
    >to all the women you know.
    >It may save a life.
    >A candle is not dimmed
    >by lighting another candle.
    >I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your
    >mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto
    >as well.
    >Send this
    >to any woman you know
    >that may need
    >to be reminded
    >that the world we live in
    >has a lot of crazies in it
    >and it's better to be safe
    >than sorry.
    >Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a
    >loved one's life.


    Become HAPPIER and "WHOLE"ier

    "You are MORE remarkable than you can EVER imagine.
    You will only EVER be as remarkable as you CAN imagine."

    I sent this, or something like it, as a text to someone last night going through a tough time and feeling down on themselves. I'm not really sure I should be using "quotes" though. If it's wrong to misquote someone else, I can only imagine what it means to misquote yourself.

    "When I was born I wish my first words would have been 'quote', so when I died I could have said 'unquote'".

    - said by Steven Wright, or something like this was said by Steven Wright. I'm probably misquoting him........

    But hold on, my story gets better ("quoting" Eddie Izzard). The interesting thing about this wonderful message of belief and confidence in another is WHO I sent this to.

    It was to my EX-wife.............I am SUCH a kool kat!

    I have come to believe if you want to really live, you have to really forgive. This doesn't mean tolerating behavior that's inappropriate for you and your life. It means letting go of the pain from the past and moving on with your life.

    I am very happy with myself that I can still believe in everything she can be, without feeling I'm letting her or the painful memories back in my life. Part of the reason I exist is to make the world a better place, to whomever I can, no matter if they make mine better or not.

    If they make it miserable, then they go on the outside of the healthy boundaries I've established for myself (what I will and will not tolerate). And I don't make their lives miserable in return. Instead I live inside my own boundaries and laugh and play with those in it.

    I've realized I can live in this world with my arms and heart wide open without becoming a punching bag.

    God I wish I would have known this years ago

    But that's what pain is for, to make us smarter and stronger, happier and "whole"ier.

    And as I silently observed myself hitting the "send" button on my fone, I realized I was on my way to becoming whole again, like I was when the Universe sent me here, completely perfect as I already was.

    (And so was Audrey, my big sister. Love ya, Darlin'!)

    "There's Zen in Fire."

    And you can quote me on that. - Adam Stuart


    The Power of Attitude - The Movie

    Mac Anderson has made another fabulous movie. Check it out!

    The Power of Attitude Movie

    Let's Fly!

    Each one of us is of great value to all those who enter our world, either directly or indirectly. Every thing we do, every word we speak, and even every thought we think has an effect. Not only in our lives, but also in the lives of all we touch.

    We truly are creators with everything we need available to us.

    But if we do not know this, or choose not to believe this, then our lives become nothing more than fallen leaves adrift in a river flowing to a destination we don't know. Although we have unconsciously made this happen, it feels as if we have no control of our lives. And we feel bad or worthless by the "bad" choices we have made.

    And as we beat ourselves up, we begin to see our dreams as foolish, and we settle in a stagnant pool of poor self-appreciation. We remember our younger years as the happiest times of our lives, and long for their return. Moments of joy become fewer and fewer, usually coming temporarily in the form of a good weekend or our favorite sports team winning a game.

    We wonder why we're even here, why life is so hard, and if things wouldn't have turned out better had we just made better choices in our past.

    And then there's the problem. We decide to make better choices but feel powerless to do so because we haven't forgiven ourselves and others for the things that have "gone wrong". We have forgotten that we are remarkable beings, able to change our lives by changing our thoughts and feelings.

    And that is exactly how it does start to change; by reclaiming our own power of the self-creation of our own worlds.

    Just for today,

    think ONLY about what you want your life to be like

    see ONLY what you want your life to be like

    and expect ONLY what you want your life to be like to happen

    It's time to toughen up and retake control over our own lives. It's time to fight for control over our own minds and feelings for just one minute longer. It's time to trust that this fight doesn't involve great struggle and resistance, but an allowance of the flow we feel inside of us.

    It's time to feel brave again, like we did when we were young and unstoppable.

    Because we were, until we learned to fear "falling" and getting hurt. Just because we fell and got hurt learning to walk didn't mean we gave up. We kept trying and learning from our falls UNTIL we were able to walk.....and then we began to run

    I say let's fly

    Let's Fly Slide Show


    Live a Life Free of Blame

    This is a very good enlightening piece from my friends at Daily OM. A lot of us have read/seen The Secret, Law of Attraction, Louise Hay and What the %$*&# Do We Know.

    It's an appropriate next-step in the area of past pain and associated blame. Enjoy and Illuminate.

    There's Zen in Fire.

    June 25, 2007

    Burdensome Feelings
    Blaming Others

    As we begin to truly understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t truly feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behavior. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behavior.

    Perhaps the problem lies with the activity of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward under the burdensome feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.

    We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.


    the greatest of HUGS

    come from the greatest of HEARTS


    love is the greatest of GIFTS

    and giving it the greatest of ARTS

    I took this picture of us after reading "just one more" bedtime story, and giving "just one more" hug. La Vita e Bella ~ Life is Beautiful

    Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart


    Too Hurried To Spell, Too Busy To Smile

    I'm trying to tleave for a party......see, I'm in such a hurry that i can't typo anything but typos.

    Anyway, I'm trying to respond to Gem Twin's post on "May Your Day Be a Shay Day" and this is the mess I created:

    "I remember this. Every day we have many opportunites , opportuniies, (jeez), opportunities to spell words correctly) to make a difference....ahhh, now the message is just lost. lol. trying to type to fast. da(r)n - too fast, too

    These stories abound - as I'm finding many good people with good hearts and good intentions (Law of Attraction? - We attract the good AND bad into our lives with our DOMINANT thoughts and intentions).

    Just as I kant type bcuz i'm in a hurry 2 get somewhere, we pass people everyday and r 2 busy 2 simply smile at them, and a smile says "I like you", "You are a person worth smiling at".

    And sometimes that is exactly what someone may need from a stranger passing them by, to make them feel good, to make them feel life is good, to make them feel like a hero just passed them by; a hero who believes in them.

    Sometimes these people we pass by are our own partners, friends, and children.

    Here's Shay's Story

    At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children,the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

    The audience was stilled by the query.

    The father continued. "I believe,that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped co mes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

    Then he told the following story:

    Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

    Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "Were losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

    Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted.. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

    At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game ? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

    However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

    The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

    Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!"
    Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

    Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"
    Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

    All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

    Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of th ird base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"

    As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

    "That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".

    Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!


    Thoughts of a Poet

    This poem was written by a friend of mine over on MySpace.It was so good I wanted to share it with you all. I also posted it on another blog I write, and now that I'm thinking of it, I should post it on the blog I write for The University of Central Florida.

    The more I think about it (or feel it resonate within me), the more it applies to so many other things than just being a poet. The journey is the same for us all; the highs and lows, and stepping to the dance one hears within. And the ones who succeed in their dreams are the ones who live unafraid to bare their souls.

    Thanks Georgia for opening up and baring yours. I felt it.

    Writing a poem
    it’s not an easy task
    It has to flow
    as if a dance

    Step by step
    you bare your soul

    Sometimes it fast
    sometimes slow

    It’s a contest for
    the world to see
    Hoping the judges
    have sympathy

    Some poems are deep
    and quite scary

    Does the Poet see
    demons in the night
    they must
    The poem is so life like

    How has the world
    treated them
    To make them so
    angry from within

    Some poems are
    light and airy
    As if the Poet
    dreamed of fairies

    How the heart feels
    always shows
    in the words of a Poet
    all readers must know

    To write a poem
    that sounds just right
    it’s not an easy task

    Call them a
    they’ve earned
    that right

    Written by Georgia Osburn
    Feb. 22, 2007

    Posted by Gemini Twins on Friday, June 22, 2007 at 8:19 PM

    Just One Minute Longer

    Sometimes people need us. They need us to be there for them and believe, to hold on and to hope, to enlighten and to encourage.

    No one can ever make it alone. And in the times when we're down, we need people. Sometimes to rescue us, as in a newborn baby fighting for his life or a student in a hospital (I know you'll make it Kaleb and Patrice).

    As we get older we don't need to be rescued. And when we are looking for someone outside ourselves to do that it's the beginning of a very unhealthy relationship (the victim - rescuer- persecutor cycle). Been there, done that, and only in the beginning is it "romantic". After that it's drama.

    Real romance is in resuscitation. Relationships are not difficult among healthy people. It's easy to be a hero to your husband by telling him you believe in him when you'd rather criticize him. It's easy to be hero to your wife by listening to her and what she's really saying when you'd rather just fix the problem and criticize her for how she's saying it.

    Real love shows up when you're not feeling very loving, when you're tired and grumpy, when you're too busy to take the time. It's not about not having problems, but in handling them together in a loving spirit.

    Tonight my daughter needed me. Sparky and Cotton Cake were missing. And she couldn't possibly go to bed without them. This was a big deal to her, so it was a big deal to me.

    We searched high and low, over and under, and over and over again. But without luck. I told her I needed to get back to my research. I had dozens of journals I needed to look through before I went to bed.

    I didn't want to keep looking, but she did. I wanted to look for the creator of these web-kinz dolls my children are crazy over and give him a piece of my mind. She just wanted to find her "children" and have "grandpa" tuck them in beside her and say prayers.

    So we kept looking, together, believing, hoping, holding on, encouraging each other, and "seeking enlightenment" as to where in the world they could be, until we found them.

    Being a hero isn't about saving the world. It's about being there when we'd rather not be.

    Continuing to believe when it'd be easier to doubt.

    Holding on when we'd rather let go.

    Hoping when all seems hopeless.

    Encouraging when we feel discouraged.

    And finding enlightenment out of darkness and confusion.

    I read a Danish proverb in college that said, "A hero is someone who holds on one minute longer."

    I've held on to that thought since then, and keep holding on to the idea that the world is full of heroes, if we could just hold on to our dreams, and the dreams and needs of others, just one minute longer.

    I told Kaleb's mom tonight how inspired I am by her and her husband, and little Kaleb, who have all been holding on and hoping just one minute longer, just one minute longer.....

    You can have all the muscles you want on the outside. It's our inner muscles that measure our true strength, and give us the ability to hold on, just one minute longer, until we find what we're looking for.


    These Are The Horses

    These are the horses
    that hold the rings

    That daddy places
    at night before bed

    These are the rings
    that daddy wears

    That holds our love
    when we're not there

    Daddy and I painted
    these horses together

    Together in love
    Together Forever

    Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart


    Being a Man

    I love this guy. He's more than just the macho man in, oh my gosh.......can't remember the name of the movie.......it's so famous............with Vivien Leigh as Scarlett.........that famous quote.....

    "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a..........GONE WITH THE WIND! (1939)

    Can't believe I couldn't remember. Anyway, look. If you watch him in his other films, like the one I just did, San Francisco (1936), he is a class act.

    I just feel so comfortable around him, and I wish I had known him. Him,

    James Dean,

    Montgomery Clift,

    Frank Sinatra,

    Sidney Poitier,

    Gregory Peck

    and Gary Cooper.

    And Gene Kelly. Man, that guy could dance. And I like to dance.

    Maybe being a man is being strong; strong in who you are, strong in handling the responsibilities you've created in your life (i.e. children), and unafraid to really live, the way you are, the way you could be, the pursuit of your loftiest dreams, and the realization of your highest self.


    Oiling My Soul With Dreams

    Shufflin' my feet
    to the sounds of my heart's beats

    Kickin' up earth's dust(in)
    oilin' my soul with dreams that won't rust(in)

    Hands in the air
    and eyes on the prize

    I am I
    I am FREE


    Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart

    Written for my brother, Dustin Stuart, whom I think of often, and just sent me a text encouraging me to keep being me. My response led to this poem, and I dedicate it to him. You're cool little brother, and the best little brother I could hope for. Thanks for believing in me. I love you.

    What Would You Put in Your Suitcase?

    Are the "treasures" we treasure really treasure? What about the fact that we are alive, and capable of accomplishing amazing things. We all have genius inside us, our true art, which is usually directly connected with our passions, daydreams, or at least our passing thoughts. Do we treasure them enough to develop them, to live them, to give them to the world?

    It's time to EXPLODE our inner beauty onto the outer world.

    If not today, when?

    The HOW is by living in the NOW, and not in the SOMEDAY.

    Bring What You Can Carry

    Once there was an old rich man who was afraid of dying and leaving all his wealth behind on earth. So, he took up the matter with God. He pleaded day and night to be able to take all his earthly possessions with him.

    Finally, God conceded. He said the man could take as much as he could fit in one suitcase. The old man immediately went out, bought a huge suitcase, sold all he owned and filled the suitcase with gold bars.

    Shortly after that, the old man died. Awkwardly dragging the big, heavy suitcase, he approached St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter stopped him, asked him to open his luggage, and then told him he couldn't bring his gold bars into Heaven.The man was irate. "You don't understand," he said. "I got permission directly from God himself for this. He told me whatever I could fit into one suitcase, I could bring with me."

    St. Peter, shrugged his shoulders and simply said, "Fine with me. But we've already got plenty of pavement here."


    The Look of Love

    Use one thumb or two
    I can out thumb wrestle you

    Be you from Salem, Seattle
    or Sala-MaLaLa-DaLaLa-Lou

    You can't get my thumb
    No matter how hard you try

    Be you a samurai's rabbi with the FBI
    named Popeye from Paraguay

    I'm the thumb wrestling champ
    in these here parts

    You will never have my thumb
    But you will always have my heart

    Bella, you won that part of me
    on the day you were born

    Love, Dad

    Game Night Slide Show

    Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart

    A Boy and Nature Become One

    a boy sat quietly in nature
    watching nature watch him

    the more he watched
    the more he was watched

    a boy looking into nature
    nature looking into a boy

    an unspoken understanding
    coming between the two

    no one knows what was said
    no one knows for sure what was heard

    just that on one summer day
    a boy and nature became one

    I am proud to say that
    this boy is my son

    I love you Brosden

    Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart

    Hold Them Accountable, Not Hostage

    How can three simple little words make me cringe and start talking to myself?.....

    ...Uh Dad?

    Yes son/daughter?

    I just accidentally.......(broke, knocked over, set fire to, flooded, etc)

    I tell my kids they are allowed to make mistakes, just not the same ones over and over....and over. They are testing me on that today.

    My son just broke the plate holding the fruit for the chocolate fondue.......

    So I start talking to myself in a very familiar dialogue ...

    "It's probably OK. Whatever he/she/it broke can be fixed or replaced. Don't lose it and crush their spirit. Hold em accountable. Don't hold em hostage for their mistakes. You made the same ones at their age, probably more. Just make sure they're OK.

    Whatever they broke can be fixed or replaced. Just don't break them. Enough of us adults are screwed up and nearly unfixable. I don't need to add any more....."

    And yes every adult can and should control their tempers and never, ever abuse a child physically, emotionally or mentally. The damage it does is tremendous, sometimes lasting forever.

    If you're stronger you protect, period. No man should ever hit a woman or child. It's not about being macho. It's about being stronger on the inside than you are on the outside. You control your own strength and temper.

    I don't judge too many things I don't understand. I do understand temper and passion and explosive energy........and controlling that energy for its best use. Most times I redirect it into my teaching, my writing, my masters, my motorcycle, my lifting and if I'm in a relationship, my loving.

    I've tackled a guy pulling a gun on me but never laid a finger on a kid in an abusive way. I thrown punches at street gang members but never at a woman. I have as big a temper as anyone, and if I can control it, so can you.

    Because the most important things we can redirect our exploding energy towards in a positive way, are our children, whether they're ours or not.


    Prophetic Prophecy?

    One of the greatest punk bands after the pistols split and the clash crossed the water to play 4 us here in the US, The Ruts were intelligent and edgy and good (my cousins from Jersey introduced me to all these bands, including my favorite, Adam and The Ants).

    I'm listening to Babylon's Burning while making a chocolate fondue for my children's breakfast (shhhh, don't tell their mother).

    They go back today so I say, "Send 'em back wired!".

    But it hit me how prophetic this band was. Today Baghdad is burning, which is a short 80 km from Babylon. 80 km is only.....ummm..about...let's see, how many miles would that be? Well it doesn't matter. American ignorance is part of our culture. We don't know metric.

    But Babylon is short for Bavel, which means confusion. And 2,600 years later, confusion reigns today.

    No I am not a Bush basher. It is ridiculous to think that one person runs our country, his cabinet does. Bush Jr just needs a secretary of state like his father had, James Baker.

    Lets hope this war fortunately lasts as short as The Ruts unfortunately did, when lead singer Malcolm died of a heroin overdose (started using again after his wife left him).

    Ahhhh, some women are wonderful, passionate and powerful.........others are wicked, pathetic and poisonous.