It wasn't just watching the innocence of children that moved me Saturday night, it was being in the midst of children being children; dancing, playing, laughing and living in their truth and beauty
By the end of the first week of school I was already exhausted, feeling almost as tired as I did at the end of the last week of school of last year. Sixty new students entered my doors and less than 1/4th of them are still on fire with all the good they are and all the greatness yet to come in their lives.....
If only they will have the courage to dream big and do big once again
Because if they don't, they will dream and do even less in their adult lives when things get tougher, perhaps even dashing the dreams and hopes of their own children.
By midweek I had taken a fist to my face from a man who used to use that same hand to hit his child. Since he's been able to outsmart the system but not smart enough to control his anger, as his own father wasn't able to control his, he and I have an agreement that as long as he doesn't touch his child I won't tell the authorities and he can take his anger and pain out on me.
Every 60 seconds 116 people die in the world. For 60 seconds at a time I can believe the world can be a place of safety for children and growth for adults.
For 60 seconds at a time I can have the strength and stamina to be my strongest and most loving self.
I can give everything I have to seeing the best in all those around me, helping them learn to defeat their learned fears and limitations.
A man's strength should never be used to beat his children or spouse. But it can also be used for much more than winning an athletic trophy, making a million dollars, or impressing others in a gym. At a higher level, his strength and stamina can become his passion for playing with his children, pleasing his woman, protecting those around him, and pursuing the dreams that lead him to become his highest self.
At a deeper level it is for uplifting himself and others to higher and higher levels of living, laughing and loving, where together nothing is impossible and dreams become reality when backed by positive, passionate and purposeful direction.
But defeating these demons holding us back takes its toll. Just getting others to believe in themselves again and that they can defeat them is the first battle.
By the time I left school at 6pm on Friday I was exhausted and already doubting myself, thinking I was foolish for fighting this hard again for children that would be gone in a year and for risking my life by jumping into a child's and father's hell to bring a light that has never existed.
On the way home I asked Sofia what Daddy lived for and what was he going to die for. She said, "Love". I asked her if she was really OK with that. In all her truth and beauty she said, "Of course!"
I knew she was right. We're all going to die for something; making as much money to buy as many things as possible, getting as many people to like us as possible, pleasing our God as much as possible, etc, etc.
That night I felt Sofia kiss me and whisper that she loved me. I tried to respond but was so tired I couldn't open my mouth to tell her I loved her back. I think she knew what I was trying to say, because she kissed the small cut on my nose where I had been hit and hugged me tightly.
I drifted off to sleep with warmth in my heart, dying at the end of this day in order to be reborn the next, because I had told a student I would try to go to her Hindi dance competition on Saturday.
It seemed important to her, and if I was going to do all I could to prove to her how important she truly was, I had to do more than try, I had to show up and show her she was worth it.
That night she showed me how worth it it was. She reminded me why I do this, what I'm giving my life to. The truth and beauty I saw flowed into me and everything made sense. Home is where the heart is. And I was home.
I used my phone to write what I saw and felt and will share as soon as possible. It's time to begin another week, and thanks to my Sofia and the beautiful butterfly I saw dancing Saturday night, I have the strength and stamina to give my all bringing out the truth and beauty in those around for another week, in an even stronger and more beautiful spirit than before this experience.