Saying Goodbye

"Good night sweethearts. Grandpa will take good care of you." - Sofia saying goodbye to her dolls before we leave to go back to her mother's.

"I reawy have to use my magination with this book." - Sofia picking up a copy of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales to read, and seeing the lack of pictures.

"Just fa-woh your heart. Fa-woh your heart and you'll be fine." - Sofia reading "The Little Mermaid"

From a fairy tale when we're young to "The Secret" to living a full and happy life as adults, it's as if we complete the circle by returning to our innocence, reminding me of the song by Enigma off the Pure Moods cd ("Return to Innocence).

Why is it for children life seems so happy and simple? Is it really because they have no responsibilities? Or is it because they intuitively know to let themselves be guided by their hearts, holding truth in one hand and full confidence in the other?

The most successful adults I have studied show the same characteristics; blessed with careers their hearts are truly into, wealthy with inner joy AND dollars as they operate with full confidence and living the truth of who they really are (versus trading their lives for dollars, gaining material possessions and looking to others to validate who they are, and waiting for "one day" to really live).

"When we're children we still remember." - Laura Lee


Hinduism Wisdomism - On Overcoming Hatred

Removing the incurable cancer called hatred
Reveals one's undying, undiminishing radiance.

The destruction of hatred, that sorrow of sorrows,

Yields to man the joy of joys.

-Tirukkural 86: 853-54 Excerpted from the Tirukkural, translated by Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami.

Drawing Yourself Into Peace

You aren't always going to wake up feeling good and thinking great thoughts to start your day off right.

This morning was one of those mornings. Up till 5:30 am working on illustrating a new book; two hours later woken up with loud whispers of "Sofia, don't wake up Daddy!" by her older sister Bella.

Instead of focusing on Bella's good intentions (Thank you, Honey), I immediately thought of how tired I was and how much work I still had to do (versus how much I accomplished).

Thoughts are indeed very powerful; powerfully uplifting or heavily overwhelming. As Sofia rolled off my back, I rolled out of bed feeling like Atlas, with the weight of the world on my shoulders, instead of feeling uplifted by the beautiful love a child has for her father.

My equally wonderful son brought the cup o' joe he made for me, and thanks to the three spoonfuls of coffee versus one, I was soon wildly wide awake and wired, but entirely stressed, from the hair on my head to the bottoms of my feet.

All the little things were bothering me, and with Brosden and Bella leaving early, everything was bothering me even more.

If we can't think or feel ourselves into it, sometimes it helps just to DO ourselves into it. So outside we went to draw and play ourselves into a state of peace, appreciation and happiness.

This didn't go as well as planned, as somebody accidentally hit his sister with a whiffle ball he got as a pre-birthday present from our neighbor (Thanx TJ).

The good thing about this is it forced me to stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on the feelings of the hitter and the hit-tee. The hitter felt so bad that I probably shouldn't mention his name (See buddy, I didn't mention it was you. All is good. Oh! Happy Birthday by the way on Wednesday.)

By focusing on giving them both good love and energy, I was able to continue it with Sofia after they left. We finished the Yin and Yang symbols Bella and I started, and drew ourselves into a better state of peace (Sofia wanted her puppy Spikey to help me draw).

Of course, having a great sense of humor helps too :-)

Sometimes just taking action and focusing on others is the only way to turn our thinking around and improve how we're feeling. I'm feeling I could draw about a billion more of these symbols with all the coffee in me.

By the way, my neighbor, TJ Jones, was the Open Doubles winner, A category, at this year's Orange Blossom Tennis Championship. He and his doubles partner Clint are repeating champions, this year coming out on top of over 200 other players. Congrats Champ!

Peace Slideshow


Grandma's Rabbit

I drew this 2 years ago Grandma. It was my first attempt at drawing with charcoal.

I am so bad about sending things out and I apologize. I just recently found it, then misplaced it again, then found it today when it fell out of a notebook I happened to pick up.

So here it is finally, for you. I'll bring it up to Ohio with me when I come up (provided I don't forget or misplace it in the meantime :-)


In the Blink of an Eye

In the blink of an eye
The years will fly by

We can't prevent it
We can't redo it

One chance is all we have
To live this life the best we can

This great universal start
Waiting in smiling repose and with great hope

That when we return our bodies to it
We present it with a great spirit

A spirit grateful for having being given life
A spirit infused with all the beauty of life

A life lived courageously and bravely
Happily and gratefully

Opportunities taken advantage of
Inspiration acted upon

A life of loving and learning
Loving to learn and learning to love

Learning higher and higher truths
Loving at higher and higher vibrations

Until we radiate better and better things
And better things to us the universe brings

From small bodies with big hearts
We become bigger bodies with even bigger hearts

Bigger hearts beating to the tune of the universe
Playing the music that we hear in our hearts

Living our lives more and more fully
Playing the music that we hear in our hearts

Unafraid to let the sound come out
Playing the music we hear in our hearts

Knowing that when our time is done
The world will still hear the music that we allowed to play in our hearts

*Dedicated to all those great spirits from the past that played their music so loudly those of us in the present can still hear it and be inspired by it.

To my sister, myself and all of you, that we too may play and dance to the sounds we hear in our hearts so much that those yet to come will hear it and be inspired.

Our lives are made up of our todays. Will today you let the music play?

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved


To My Sister on Her Birthday

You watched over me
From the time we were very young

You loved and cherished me
Many times to you I clung

We're older now
And live so far apart

But time and distance can't separate
The love for you I feel in my heart

Thank you for being who you were then
And who you are today

Audrey you are an incredible older sister
And I wish you the best of birthdays

Mrs. North Carolina - Kathryn Stuart

Kathryn being crowned

The Queen and her court

Mrs. North Carolina 2007 Kathryn Stuart with pageant directors

Congratulations Kathryn! My sister is the new Mrs. North Carolina. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. We are blessed to have you in our family. Does this make my brother Mr. North Carolina? (He's saying it does).

We know you'll win Mrs. America and then Mrs. World. You're already a big winner with us and we're very proud of you!

click here to see Kathryn's TV interview

The Mrs. America Pageant has been invited to return to the spectacular
Loews Ventana Canyon in Tucson, AZ, August 22 - September 5, 2007.
The pageant will be broadcast several times
on WE-television network

The Mrs. World Pageant is scheduled to be taped in both Moscow and Sochi (on the Russian Riviera) March 8, 2008.


The Real Power of the Law of Attraction

......continued from "Our Children Are Watching"

Yes, humor helps. But maybe I shouldn't sing along with Rex Harrison so fervently when we watch "My Fair Lady" (1964). As Henry Higgins and I act out the song "I'm an Ordinary Man", my children have come to see it as a promise to them that I won't get married again and won't ever be hurt again. They do love me quite a bit.

But I'm teaching them a fairy tale that being vulnerable with the right one is a bad thing. Worse, the idea that isolating yourself from love can lead to a fulfilling life. "No man is an island."

Love is all around and only by letting it in can you have great power. I parent, write, teach, fight for right and ride my motorcycle, all in great love (love for the wild, crazy, free spirit in me).

We just have to know what the "right one" means to us. My poem "Just ONE" lets me know who that is, for me. It came from deep inside, after 60 days (mid December to mid February) of religiously practicing letting go of all my negative emotions that had built up over the past 15 years. Through daily practice I learned to find real love and true happiness within myself versus seeking it outside from another person.

Then one night (2/19) I couldn't sleep. My emotional guidance system was speaking to me, letting me know I now knew the answer, and could finally allow the right person to come into my life. Instead of distracting myself with TV, I was at my computer till 4am telling the universe what this Just ONE was to me.

The Law of Attraction is powerful, and 30 days later I was making my first trip to Chicago, and have come to realize even as recently as yesterday (@60 days from when I declared to the universe what I truly wanted by writing that poem) that I met people there who will be in my life forever. My entire life has changed from one of terrible confusion and anguish to great clarity and confidence. I flow in joy and inner desire versus trying to force things to be the way I want them to be. By allowing this to happen I have become alive with the reality that I am creating a life for myself and my family way beyond my wildest dreams.

This doesn't mean everything will go smoothly. Since my change I've had great support from Laura, Brian, my family, and people like Pam, my grad studies partner, who sent me a text saying "All of Florida awaits your return". These people see the good in me and appreciate what I can give, allowing me to stay in my flow of progress and joy. And I am grateful for them.

I've had others, and you will too, who don't understand the new you, and will complain and criticize you for the lack of what you can give. But as you continue to listen to your feelings, your emotional guidance system, you will realize which people are in harmony with your dreams and which are not. We can't force anyone to be in harmony with us, to understand our minds and hearts, and appreciate us for what we do give versus don't.

Bruce Lee is still very alive to me. He was a philosopher as well as a martial artist. And when he puts his hand on my shoulder and says, "Be like water my friend", I hear.... let the beauty in you flow from your core, your truest and best self. Only honesty and truth can flow from this place. And that is your most beautiful you. Some will see it. Some will not. As long as you see it you will radiate and attract the right people in your life, Guaranteed!!!!

I am a man who has become very happy with who he is, unafraid to pursue AND EXPECT TO ACHIEVE previously unimaginable dreams. And I am attracting the right people into my life who are helping make that happen.

So what makes the right one for you? Be sure you have learned to love yourself first - don't expect someone else to do that for you - terrible co-dependency that way. It is also unhealthy to seek or "hunt" for another to fill your needs. Being needy will also only attract another wrong partner, someone who sees themselves as your "rescuer" and you will resent them for it later. Learn to fulfill your own needs first, imagine the "right one" for you, and that person will come into your life.

Believe it, expect it, and appreciate it, and end up like Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle, Todd and Angie, my mother and father, brother and sisters, grandmothers and grandfathers, and so many others all around us, if we'll just "look up" and learn from what they're doing right and what "we", and not our former partners, did wrong) ..............or you could say "hogwash" to it all and become a marriage counselor. I hear there's good money in it.

(Oooh, yeah. Pursue making money to make you happy. The secret is in pursuing true and honest joy within yourself, be OK with your own flow, then allow all other matching things to flow to you). Who knows? Maybe you'll create such a full life that your thoughts and accomplishments will go on living long after your body hasn't.

"It's not so much about death, but life itself" - Laura Lee

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved

Our Children Are Watching

Looking at the post from yesterday and appreciating Todd and Angie even more ("What is Love?"). I remember them calling their children while we were at the airport to say goodnight. I see "16" and "14" in my notes. Must be their children's ages.

What a wonderful example they have set for their children; a marriage that does work, that does last. I cannot say I have set the same example for my own children. I know I and their mothers have tried, but we could not do it.

I've heard them say things from "I'm never getting married" to "I'll marry a man, have a baby, then when I get tired of him I'll kick him out and marry another man."

Ouch! Not a great "reality" these children have learned so far. And it is too bad that so many of our nation's youth are growing up with this idea of marriage. Since it is truly "too bad", we cannot allow it to continue.

We must point to examples like Todd and Angie as proof that it does work, and the reasons why; such as appreciating each other and being consciously grateful for one another.

It does seem as though what you appreciate you continue to have in your life. What you take for granted is taken from you. And when you focus on the problems in a relationship all you get are more of the problems.

By thinking about, talking about and taking action on solutions to the problems we have in our relationships with our own children, we single parents are showing them how to do the same with the future person they fall in love with.

And if they still are pessimistic that they can find someone whose been taught the same skill, they can always become a marriage counselor. This seems to be a growing career field :)

.....to be continued

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved


What is Love?

Ahhhh...... Another great trip to Chicago. Waiting in the airport, very sad to go, but very thankful for the time spent there (even tho it was soooooooooo cold).

An amazing time with a close friend and a family I am truly blessed to have in my life. Why so amazing? Becuz not only was I surrounded by happiness and incredible possibility, but I was loved was loved e-x-a-c-t-l-y-a-s-I-a-m and appreciated for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g-I-d-i-d. And you know there's no better feeling than that. Lot's of love for me!

I felt like a watered and nurtured plant, covered in love and placed in rich soil. When that happens there are no limits to how high one can grow! Of course my mother asked me to shave my nasty looking goatee becuz it covered up her baby boy's pretty plant face, but it grew back quickly, didn't it? Hi Mom!

Actually the clean-shaven look made the trip back to Florida less eventful. On the way up north my plane made a stop in the Charlotte airport. As I was hanging out and talking on the phone, I was carefully watched and surrounded by one, then three, then seven security personnel! I guess they didn't like the goatee look either.

Do I look like a guy who would cause trouble??? No love for me.

But on my way back to sunny and warmmmmm Florida, I got to the airport early, just like I was supposed to (my beautifully ultra-organized older sister would be so proud). Without the goatee people smiled at me and said hello, except for the security guard who thought I was trying to smuggle my coffee in - man that guy gave me a nasty look - "No liquids. No liquids." No love. No love for me.

So, coffee-less and time-full, I sat down and started reading a book. With a noisy family to my left and some stressed-out travelers to my right, I began looking around for a more peaceful spot.

"Hmmmm. All the good spots are taken. I can handle this. Just put your head down and focus."

I did my best to block out the noise as another couple sat down across from me, now being totally surrounded. Within five minutes I felt myself distracted again. But it wasn't stress this time. It wasn't even noise. I was tuning into something else, and I began to have a warm feeling. I thought maybe it had to do with what I was reading so I didn't lift my head. Then it was almost as if someone was telling me to "look up". I didn’t want to ruin my good feeling, so I dismissed it and continued reading.

Then I heard it again, "look up", in the same soft female voice. When I did I only saw a couple across from me sharing a sandwich. Nothing remarkable going on. They weren’t even talking. I started to look away when I began to notice that in the midst of all the talking and movement around them, they were still, just leaning against each other and picking up parts of the sandwich quietly. I noticed how serene they were. My warm feeling grew. They weren’t overly tired, and weren’t overly affectionate, just peaceful, at peace being with each other.

This is love. You are watching love.

I took out my notebook and wrote:

What is love?” at the top and began writing what I was hearing was the answer. With my eyes closed I could feel the closeness between them, and it felt so good that I couldn’t help assume they were married. I finally spoke up and asked them how long.

23 years”, they said.

23 years......A huge modern-day success story! Todd and Angie from Bowling Green, Ohio, are a walking accomplishment of what less than half the country can do. I talked to them for a short while and before my plane boarded I shook their hands, thanking them for sharing their story with me.

As I sat in my seat I took out my notebook and looked at what I had written:

Maybe how the little things are shared is a reflection of how long lives are shared. Maybe it’s how you do the simple things that matter most. Are they done together? Are they appreciated? Are the little things the spouse does appreciated? Is "I'm grateful for you" spoken as often as "I love you?"

I took out my pencil one more time, and wrote:

Maybe "The Secret" to a happy and long marriage is in how you share a sandwich together while waiting for your flight at an airport. Thank you Todd and Angie for showing us that the answers to our problems are all around us, if we'll just “look up” and see them.

(The morning after I wrote this I made a continuation called "Our Children Are Watching"

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved


Act on Your Intuitions, Before They Fade Away

Aha! Finally, I am inspired by a thought AND I have managed to create some time to write and post. It seems like forever since I’ve written anything outside of a grad school assignment. Now it’s just going to be free-form writing, letting it flow like sugar water from my veins, naturally and sweetly from inside of me.

And this is a good thought. The way it’s popping around as an idea in one part of my brain all the way to a memory on the other side, then ZOOMING back to an experience I had way back when, and now reaching up to shake hands with a vision occurring at the front of my head. Ooooh baby, such an insight! A real “A-HA!” moment.

With fingers ready to fly and rings ready to sing I sit down in front of my computer and open up my blogger “dashboard”. This will allow me to transfer thought technologically to timeless type and just write, write, write. So many neurons firing in my head now I can even alliterate in the letter “t” without breakin’ a beat. I’ll just let it all come out as soon as the website comes up……..Can’t wait…………Nothing happening on the screen in front of me……Still nothing happening……What’s this?....”Unable to process your request at this time. Please try again later.”

I’ll try again now; can’t wait. This insight is too great not to share with as many people as possible and get feedback, dialogue, and hopefully improvement on what’s been built in my head…….Just as soon as the blogger comes up…….Oh Yes! It’s going to stimulate thoughts and perhaps even inspire……….Oh No!....”Unable to process your request at this time. Please try again later.”

O.K. I’ll write it down. Pencil…paper…I’ll use the back of whatever this piece of paper is. I wonder if it’s something I’m supposed to read? Can’t worry about that now. Where’s a pencil? Where in the world is a pencil, or pen, or crayon? I’m a teacher for crying out loud! There’s got to be something in my desk…….Hey! My keys to the filing cabinet! That’s where they’ve been….Oh! And a pencil. Finally!

…………….Now what was it that I was thinking?........Wait a minute. I see only fragments of this great insight now. And they’re slipping away, back to the places in my mind from where they came. Nooooooo….Trying to grab them with imaginary hands but can’t………Too late…….Too late……

Now I see only four disconnected ideas, blinking faintly in a growing fog, having no idea how they connected themselves or what they meant…..They’re as distant from each other now as four unique individuals in four distant places in the world, whose paths were brought together for a brief moment in time to produce what could have been a dynamic and life altering experience. They felt it and saw it in each other’s eyes, but the opportunity was missed, a problem arose that kept the intuitions from being acted upon, and now the window of opportunity has closed…..

I hope these thoughts meet again. It definitely was a lesson in acting upon my intuitions and overcoming unforeseen problems. I had many, many insights and "A-HA" moments from my latest trip to Chicago, including witnessing a true love story at the airport (thank you Todd and Angie), creating the "city" (life) you want to live in inside your own mind (thank you Chicago - now my second home), and several others.

But it's time to wake up my Sleeping Beauty Bella, who spent the night after Date Night With Daddy, and take her to school. Then after teaching my truly most amazing students, it will be working on my assignment for grad school and then going to class (but on my freedom-riding motorcycle!). Then the gym and back to the library. And when I finally get home between midnight and 2am, work on this amazing opportunity I have as a writer.

Life doesn't want to hear our problems and excuses for not creating the lives we want. It is waiting eagerly for us to find a way to make it happen. Some friends understand this and some don't. All I know is Today is My Day, To Dream and Play, and Make My Life Even More Wonderful in Every Way.........it just may take a little extra effort.

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved


I Wish You Enough

Thanks to my friend Dianna for sending this to me.

"Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom."

They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry.

I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever? ". "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?".

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is -- the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said. "When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ''I wish you enough. ''May I ask what that means?". She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone."

She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said, "I wish you enough'', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them."

Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away. They say it takes a minute to find a
special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an
entire life to forget them. Send this to the people you will never forget
and remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you. If you don't
send it to anyone it may mean that you are in such a hurry that you have
forgotten your friends.


To all my friends and loved ones, "I WISH YOU ENOUGH "


Quote of the Day

Quotation of the Day
Look back, and smile on perils past.
Walter Scott

Here! Here! And as you smile on the obstacles that you've overcome, allow a new sense of inner strength to grow from situations that you could have allowed to defeat or even kill you, ever so slowly, until your spirit had given up.

Know that you are more than you were before!

Look for "Today is the Day" I'm working on and will post soon.

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved

Our Inner Child

May our inner child never grow old and die,

Lest we do too;

Living without being alive.

Always hold on to that sense of wonder; of what things mean and what things could be. Our child-like curiosity is what keeps us alive inside in our adulthood. All the greats had this child-like wonder with the world; from Aristotle to Zoroaster, and everyone in between.

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved

The Healing Power of Holy Water?

The Healing Power of Holy Water?

One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches.An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.

"Son, you've just witnessed a miracle!" the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?"

"Flat on his butt over by the holy water!" the boy informed him.


Dante's Good Friday Inferno, My Easter Sunday Paradiso

*This is an unconscious writing, beginning at 3:30 am Easter Sunday morning, so it probably won't make much sense to too many. I woke up with a start and began putting pen to paper immediately, allowing the thoughts that caused me to sit upright out of a deep sleep to mix with my notes on Dante's "The Divine Comedy" from 1308 a.d.

I then combined these with what I heard during the Catholic mass service I attended with my family. The last time I had been to any church was almost a year ago, where after cursing God for over an hour, I heard myself say "I just want the pain to stop" and went to the front to be saved.

Although I never returned to that or any church until this Easter, my spirituality grew stronger than most religious fanatics could ever hope to achieve. Through a dream I had of Jesus complaining to God about me driving my motorcycle past the angels housing at 3:30 in the morning, and telling his father that I "...didn't deserve to be there" (in Heaven), I achieved a clarity of how similar my story was to that of Dante's written over 700 years ago.

"Thoughts from lives past bring new teachings that sit down with old learning to create enlightened understanding. I become a vessel for these people to travel in, so they can continue their journey in a new soul." (from my post, "Best Quote Ever"). The Renaissance in you is always occuring if you see each day as one of learning and growing versus getting older (see "Renaissance Man")

I've only shared the details of this dream with one other person, so I'm hesistant to share it here. I think what I've already shared is enough, and done so in hopes of inspiring others that, no matter how great the pain of everyday life can be, we can always rise above it, by choosing to see the power of God within us, and EXPLODING it from us onto the world around us (see "Hell's Angels" and "EXPLODE")

Almost 24 hours from when the vision began, the vision has been written. And it started with something I saw while travelling on what would become a life-changing journey.....

Dante's Good Friday Inferno, My Easter Sunday Paradiso

I saw a tree blossom
In the midst of none

This three day journey
Was at the end of the Easter Triduum

Lasting 707 years
on Good Friday of 1300 A.D. that it had begun

"Nel mezzo del cammin di mia vita"
In the middle of my life's journey

I travelled through three realms of the dead
Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso

Guided first by my friend and fellow poet Virgil
Author of "The Aeneid"

And later by Lady Philosophy
The embodiment of wisdom, grace and beauty

Call her Matilda, call her Beatrice
She prepared my soul for its ascent into heaven

I had not yet seen my last evening
But through my madness was close to it

Assailed by beasts I could not evade
I was unable to find the "dirita via" to salvation,

There was no straight way
No sun behind the mountainscape

No "Go to church and be faithful to your kids and wife.
And everything will go well

Only a "basso loco" did I ever find
A very deep place in my heart, in my soul, in this earth

Here the sun is silent forever
"il sol tace"

"il sol tace"
nothing here is ever reborn

With nothing to lose I passed through the Gates of Hell
"Lasciate ogne speranza voi ch'intrate", inscribed on the door

"Abandon all hope, you who enter here. "
With all hope abandoned, i entered without fear

The first of Hell's nine circles I entered was Limbo
Reserved for virtuous pagans such as myself

How ironic that this was what I had become
Such a pious and God-fearing man

Life teaching me to raise an angry fist to God and curse him
Reaching for the Bible

Only to throw it across the room
and God just laughing back at my irreverance

Just as in Elysian Fields
I found myself among the guiltless damned

Living in our deficient form of heaven
Unallowed to get in

Like Virgil, Homer, Horace, Lucan and Ovid
All fellow forsaken pagan poets

My favorite being Ovid, for his
"the gods favor the bold"

Searching for gods of old to save me
This One seemingly having forgotten me

Having lost all faith in God and man
I fearlessly crossed the River Styx

Entering all nine circles of Hell
The boiling blood of Phlegethon truly testing me

The only way to relieve my suffering
Was to break off the twigs of pain causing pain

And in the last zone of the 9th circle
I met satan trapped in ice

His three mouths already filled
With Brutus, Cassius and Judas Iscariot

I escaped past his six beating wings and six sharp claws
past the biting icy wind that he emanates

Virgil and I escaped by climbing the ragged fur of Lucifer
Passing through the center of the earth

Emerging into the other hemisphere
Just before dawn on Easter Sunday

Beneath a star studded sky
Ascending out of the undergloom

Surviving the depths of Hell
Climbing the Mountain of Purgatory on the far side of the world

The ascension was my own Purgatorio
A "Hell's Angel" rising, if you will

At the top I drank from the River Lethe
Causing my soul to forget past sins

While the River Eunoe
Renewed memories of past good deeds

My ability to love myself reawakened
My human ability to love God a high point in Heaven alloted

Through the sphere of the Moon, of Mercury, of Venus, and of the Sun
Through Mars, Jupiter, Saturn , and of Fixed Stars I became awakened

The Ninthe Sphere, or Primum Mobile
The abode of the angels, this Hells' Angel has reached fruition

Coming face-to-face with God Himself
Singing with all the Saints in glory

In God's likeness I was awakened
Knowing everlasting peace

My soul experienced God's absolute love
And I realized a unification of it with ALL things

"My desire and my will
Being turned like a wheel

All at one speed by the love
that turns the sun, the stars" and all living and non-living things

I saw my greatest GOOD
In spite of contrary circumstance

And I saw a tree blossom
In the midst of none

I saw only GOOD in a world that used to be glum
And my world began to blossom with beauty, beginning inside of me

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved