NeverLand Does Exist

When I watch this movie I end up speaking to my own children in Depp's soft Scottish accent for days.



And I realize just how much I am similar to the real-life J.M. Barrie in that I too believe in a NeverLand. A place where the impossible of what we all can be, do, and have IS possible.

I am not bothered by what others think of me. I am not here to impress people with what I am, but to impress upon other people with everything they already are and everything they can become....especially children.

Children are bigger believers than adults. And it's not because they're young and foolish, unrealistic, and don't know any better. The scientific fact is that ARE realistic and THEY DO KNOW BETTER.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks because scientifically, every time one of our cells split (which happens many times every day) the new cell has more of the dominant receptors of the mother or sister cell (mitosis).

The new cell has more receptors for neuro peptides, or hormones, of empowerment or hopelessness, joy or sadness, creativity or dullness, love or hatred, intelligence or disbelief, depending on what our dominant thoughts have been prior to the mitosis.

(This video is great for understanding why even though we want to change, we often don't. Listen to how we are compared to dogs. It also explains how to change our current inability to change. It does contain some adult content.)



If you're in my class you are required to believe and to dream ....to Dream Big, Bigger than you ever have.

And you WILL Do Big, which is not just memorizing facts and formulas and getting an "A" on a test. Getting an "A" is just the beginning. Every time your cells split you will have more positive receptors than before. As this happens, you will become more powerful.

You are required to keep splitting your cells with the belief you can become unstoppable and are able to do and be more than you ever have. Last year it produced an average improvement 700 times greater than normal classes.

This year one failing student walked out of class, again....... giving up, again.......and creating failure for himself, again. When he's done this before I've spoken with him, hugged him, hollered at him, even told him I loved him.

This time when I found him crying in the stairwell I punched the railing, intending to break him out of this pattern of giving up. He stopped crying and stared at me. I asked him why he thought he keeps giving up when things get hard. He began telling me all the ways he's a victim and soon broke down crying again.

I punched the railing even harder, the rings I wear to keep my children close making an enormous banging sound on the metal. He jerked his head up and stopped crying. I told him to look at me, in my eyes, and asked him if he thought anything could stop me. He said "no". I told him he and I were one. For one year he and I were the same person. All of my strength was his. Everything I had, he had. Then I said. "Now get your butt back in class and let's change your life for good!"

And he has.

Later while eating lunch with my daughter, she told me she heard a loud banging sound and a deep voice through the walls of her classroom. She whispered, "That was you, wasn't it?" I said, "Yes. I was trying to help someone." She smiled and said, "I knew it."

For one year every student in my class will be in NeverLand, a place where there are no limits to what they can do or be. They will live in their imaginations of great possibilities and work on making what they imagine come true. After that, it's up to them to keep themselves there.

(Bella brought a bug that had been stepped on to this tree hoping it would be OK. It didn't make it, and why she had the look on her face 5 pictures above and why she's holding my arm in the 2nd picture below.)

And from what I hear when I run into former students and their parents, they ARE keeping themselves in NeverLand; in advanced classes doing very well, taking risks and challenging their fears by joining clubs and plays, and most importantly, are very happy. They are.....Forever Young



What makes me happy is not realizing that my life has meaning, but that the lives of those I've touched has meaning, GREAT MEANING. And it is an incredibly beautiful feeling, helping me when I begin to doubt and wonder if I'm a fool believing in an unrealistic world that will never be.

This "I Am Beautiful" song means we are beautiful not when we are seen as beautiful by others, or the media, or the church. We are truly beautiful when we are having the courage to be ourselves, beauty marks AND beauty warts - when we are being the person we feel we are in our hearts.....and not giving up on ourselves............

Not allowing our unique inner beauty to fade away before it is too late...........and having the strength to continue to believe in ourselves no matter what......THAT is beautiful.........and beautiful enough..........for you.

Although it's not allowed to be embedded, the link to this beautiful song and video is here, and is worth the few minutes to watch. Who knows, it could be the few minutes that change the few cells needed to change your life: Finding NeverLand - Beautiful

Today I Will Play!!!!!

I'm taking this opportunity while on Thanksgiving Break to download my camera - although I should be working solely on my thesis.........see?........guilt.........guilt's my thing.........

The thing my mother used on me while growing up, the thing both wives used on me when we were married, and the thing I use on myself at age 41.

Using guilt on ourselves or others doesn't mean we're bad. It's just "the thing" used on us while growing up which we in turn use as adults.

So guilt is "my thing" that I need to overcome....feeling guilty if I'm not doing what I "should be doing". I think a lot of us share that, and if we aren't paying attention, we'll continue the cycle with our own children.

Someone has to break the cycle. Why not you? Why not me? Our children have enough problems to solve without us putting burdens on them that we can carry and conquer ourselves.....

Anyway, I'm glad I took the time to empty my camera because I found these pics and this video.

I hope this post is still around for my grandchildren to see how wonderful their parents are, and as a reminder for my children to see how wonderful being carefree and childlike is.

A big thank you to my sister (the psychologist) who sent us these glasses. I wonder if she ever puts them on during one of her sessions? I don't think I would be able to resist doing it.

Hooray 4 Today!

The Quick Fix is No Fix at All

(These pictures are of what so far has been a once-in-a-lifetime experience between myself and my daughter I. Her teacher had to leave early and her class was split among the other teachers, Bella being sent to mine.

She is an "A" student and I gave her a problem I knew she would have to struggle with. Why? One, I believe struggling with temporary "failure" is critical to becoming permanently successful.

Two, having the courage to struggle and face possible "defeat" in front of others gives others the courage to do the same.

Three, I love and believe in my daughter with all my heart, and teach my students as if they were my own, loving and believing in them with all my heart......and right now the world needs a lot of heart.....miles and miles of heart)

A new study out of London reports that the higher level thinking skills of 14 year-olds are now on par with that of 12 year-olds in 1976. (ABC News)

In effect, our children are two years dumber than they were two decades ago.

The reason given is that our schools are teaching to the test. So over the same time period, while state and national test scores have increased, the ability of our children to think has decreased.

Colleges are now placing less-emphasis on these scores as a basis for acceptance because they measure more a student's ability to memorize information than being able to use it to think at high levels and solve real problems.

And once again, the solution of the quick fix has only been successful in making things worse.

Instead of taking care of the consumer many businesses take advantage of them, the real-estate crisis being a prime example, and all of us suffer as the economy goes south.

Instead of working out to lose weight and developing a vast store of new inner discipline and strength we could use for future challenges and growth, we get liposuction and others surgeries which make us look for other quick-fixes for future challenges.

Instead of developing talents and becoming more in order to get more, we buy more lottery tickets hoping to get more by getting lucky. Yet because we didn't become the type of person who could earn the winnings, 90% of us who win the lottery lose our new wealth because we don't know how to keep it......and we find ourselves more in debt than before "winning" just a few years later.

Instead of becoming our own source of power and confidence, we look to other people and things to tell us we're acceptable and worth something, teaching our children to do the same.

Instead of struggling through the process of learning to see our own inner beauty, we get a face and body lift hoping the outside world will at least see our manufactured outer beauty, and then we'll feel good about ourselves.

Instead of being patient with our children and helping them develop the ability to focus, we put our children on pills to "help" them do it. Why? Because as adults we have chosen to put ourselves on pills of some kind instead of developing the inner strength to have patience with ourselves and, as a bye-product, the ability to help others do it too.

I know I'm not trying to come off as preachy. I also know that I deserve the criticism I receive for risking my health and job by pushing my own limits past the danger point time and again. But I look at what has happened to those around me as a result.

And the world is at risk more than ever, and needs real solutions real fast. Not living fully is not having lived at all. Focusing on keeping your job instead of fully doing your job is not doing it at all......All or nothing.

I notice that when I choose to focus on the higher things, the things that really matter, that's when the things that really matter tend to change for the better.

Things that can't be done ARE done. What "could be" becomes "WHAT IS". Where I used to fail I start succeeding, and where others around me used to fail they start succeeding.

Students who used to tell me they would come find me when they're older and kill me (because I'm making them face their unpleasant reality), now instead focus on making me help them change. Instead of continuing to fail test-after-test, now are open to learning why and beginning to double their scores and earning C's, B's and A's in the process.

Those who used to "succeed" on surface-knowledge tests now are succeeding at higher-level thinking and gaining meaningful knowledge and real-life abilities in the process......All of them hopefully for a lifetime, and all of them hopefully changing the world for the better in the process.

"In the process".....In the process of BECOMING MORE, not less.

From my experience and observation, the quick fix in most cases is no fix at all.

As our world is finally being forced to face increasing problems of economy, ecology, education, terrorism, etc. at the critical level, we are increasingly as a whole developing ourselves into quick fixers turning the current problems into critical crises, while dumbing down the very ones that will be asked to fix what we create.

The "monster needs to be stopped while it's little". Real, healthy education of our young by parents and teachers alike is critical in doing this. But how do we teach what we don't know how to do?

We take on a new role. We take on the role of hero. This is no time for false humility or feelings of unworthiness.

Since the monster of the quick-fix hasn't been stopped in our own lives and now has become big in adults all over the world.....We need to become the heroes of our own lives, to become more than we ever have been so far, growing bigger than and defeating this monster inside of us.

We do this, and we teach our children how to do this.

Our children learn how to do this, and they learn how to create more solutions to more problems instead of creating more and bigger problems needing more and bigger solutions.

And the world does change for the better.....in this process.

Today, today
Do I wake up
more old and gray?

Or do I wake up
determined,
to find a way?

My body has risen,
but has my soul?

Yes!
My spirit is awakened,
and I feel myself
becoming bold.

Today, Today!
What an incredible day!

For I have AWAKENED
on the dawn of this great day!

~ From one fully awakened soul to another,
Embrace today and give it a big kiss!
Adam Stuart
October 27, 2008

Bella....Outstanding Bella

Out of full fairness to Izsabella after posting the video showing her playful and pernicious side (Bella....Sneaky Bella), I have to post this picture of her that I just saw on her mom's facebook page. Last year she won the nomination for the most outstanding female student out of the entire school for the 3rd Quarter.

Bella is truly remarkable, as is EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US............with the reality being that very few of us ever have that potential guided and unleashed into the manifestation of its full-blown reality.

Bella has developed her potential into actuality, and I thank her mother and other father (who I think is truly amazing), and all her teachers for helping her do this.

But most of all I thank Bella herself, because no matter how much a parent wants it for their children, a teacher for their students, or a coach for their players.....it always comes down to the individual making it happen....and Bella definitely has.

Way to go Bella. You truly are living an outstanding life!

Bella....Sweet Bella

Bella
Wonderful Bella
Wonderful Sweet Bella


Bella
Sneaky Bella
Sneaky Playful Bella


Watch
Watch Bella
Watch Wonderful Sweet Sneaky Playful Bella


See
See Why
See Why Her Father is Always Happy!


- I LOVE YOU baby girl!
- Dad

- Adam Stuart
October 12, 2008
(Bella 10 years old)



Tennis with the Kids - 12

Conversations With My Children ~ The Importance of School

I just asked Brosden and Bella to help me with something, Bella said she was training her internet Webkinz to go to school.

"Yeah, Dad. You always say how important school is." - Brosden

"That's just something we say to get you guys to show up. Now, come upstairs."

And they did. They both laughed, stopped what they were doing, and did what I asked. I think having a sense of humor goes a long way in parenting.

Both mothers will call me up and say, "Talk to your kid. They're not listening."

The bond that is created between two people laughing is at the very least, strong enough to allow me to ask them to listen to their mothers out of simple respect for her. And they will.

Maybe this has less to do with who I am, as oppossed to how I am. Instead of forcing obedience, let it flow from laughter. Instead of demanding respect, let it flow from a respectful heart.

(found these old pictures of Cristina and Sofia having a "no utensils allowed" dinner. When they told me how cool I was, I told them I was just trying to find a way not to have to wash the dishes.)

Honey, I Love You

From a friend of a friend,
this is imperatively true,

not just for me and you,
of the truths below penned,

that in the end of the end,
the very end of our days,

will our children say the last thing they heard whispered,
from our lips to their ears,

Was "Honey, I love you."

*Just last night I watched Sofia dance, and took her in my arms, telling her I love her not just because she's my daughter, but for who she is as a person, already amazing in my eyes at just 5 years old. She turned to look at me dead in the face, her eyes absorbing every word I was saying.

Even my grandmother, the last grandparent I have still living, says, "Adam, I love you" before we hang up.

Love just creates more love, and the love we are giving our children will allow them to give more to their own worlds in the future. And the future DOES get better, when we better the NOW.

You can't tell me the world is not a good place. It's not perfect by any means, yet there is so much perfection in the emotion of love itself. It CAN conquer darkness, and CAN overcome overwhelming pain.

Great lovers CAN be great fighters, fighting for what they love in life! And those you express your love for often will express theirs for you right back!

When we are young

And covered in love

We completely believe

We are gifts from above

- Adam Stuart


From: Odyssey Spirit ~~Chris tina~~
Date: Aug 25, 2007 4:39 PM


EXPRESSINGS OF LOVE


Nancy Devlin
Newhouse News Service



Some parents find it difficult to express love for their children in outward displays affection. They assume their children know they love them even when they do not say it in words.

These parents reason that the children see how hard they work to feed, clothe and educate them. They assume their children understand that these sacrifices are made because they are loved.

Parents may not see the need to put their feelings into words like "I love you very much and care about you," or to give a big hug and kiss when they see the children.

It is unwise to assume that children are secure in the knowledge that you love them. Parents who make such assumptions are in danger of being totally overwhelmed when in later years their child says, "I never knew how much you cared. You never told me. All of those years growing up, I felt you did not love me." Or, even worse, "I never felt loved."

Children need to experience affection directly. They cannot guess at your motives – that is too abstract a concept.

Expressing love to children in words, hugs and kisses is difficult for some people not only because of their temperaments but also because they were brought up without these things. They have no model for outward expressions of love and do not know where to begin.

Start with Words

You can begin by saying encouraging words to your children when you interact with them. Make a conscious effort to communicate something positive: "You look nice this morning, Jane. That's a good color for you," or "We really enjoyed being with you today." This is particularly valuable when parents and child have engaged in some pleasant activity. Let your children know that you are aware of them and concerned about how they feel.

If you do not give hugs easily, you might begin by just putting your hand on your child's shoulder or gently rubbing his back. Some people are afraid of rejection and hold back. Try to overcome this feeling and work up to little and then bigger hugs.

Children might initially say "ugh" and hold back, but most like it and will come to look forward to a show of affection from family members.

Eventually, you may be able to add words like "I love you very much" or "You're a great kid, and I'm glad I'm your dad [or mom] to the hug.

Another way to work up to spoken words is to begin with writing. Some parents put notes in their children's lunch boxes that express affection or encouragement. When your child goes away to camp or visits a relative, write notes telling her how much she is loved.

Another opportunity not to be missed is when children go away to college. You can send hugs by mail. There are wonderful cards that express emotions you may not be able to. Every time you go by a card store, look around; you'll find cards that express how you feel. Send the cards often for no particular occasion. Your children will get the message of love.

You do not need to wait until Valentine's Day to show your children affection. That comes around only once a year.


— Nancy Devlin, Ph.D., is a practicing child psychologist.

post by : Odyssey Spirit ~~Chris tina~~

Happy Birthday to My Beautiful Bella Butterfly

For nine years
you have warmed my heart,
touched my life,
been my sweetheart.



For nine years now
you have made my life great,
blessed me with love,
made my heart inflate.





With you in my life,
I would like to update,
the numerous ways,
that you've been first-rate:






You create,
a better me.







You locate,
true love I can see






You narrate,
a story of joy,
a story of laughter,
a story to enjoy.





You needn't try,
you just are,
the best birthday girl,
and a BEAUTIFUL BRIGHT STAR!


Happy 9th Birthday Baby Girl,

Daddy loves you!






Beautiful Bella Butterfly
So very pretty in her daddy's eye

Flitter


Flutter


Flitter
Fly



Dancing, playing in the sky




Eyelashes made of butterfly wings

She smiles at me and makes me grin





Twirling, swirling and turning again

She blows me kisses and makes me spin


This little butterfly is a work of art

The little ways about her landing on my heart

She asks me to watch her; I don't tell her to wait

Treasuring each moment before it's too late

There is no tomorrow there's only today

As one day she'll turn, and smile, and fly away......