Today I Will Play!!!!!

I'm taking this opportunity while on Thanksgiving Break to download my camera - although I should be working solely on my thesis.........see?........guilt.........guilt's my thing.........

The thing my mother used on me while growing up, the thing both wives used on me when we were married, and the thing I use on myself at age 41.

Using guilt on ourselves or others doesn't mean we're bad. It's just "the thing" used on us while growing up which we in turn use as adults.

So guilt is "my thing" that I need to overcome....feeling guilty if I'm not doing what I "should be doing". I think a lot of us share that, and if we aren't paying attention, we'll continue the cycle with our own children.

Someone has to break the cycle. Why not you? Why not me? Our children have enough problems to solve without us putting burdens on them that we can carry and conquer ourselves.....

Anyway, I'm glad I took the time to empty my camera because I found these pics and this video.

I hope this post is still around for my grandchildren to see how wonderful their parents are, and as a reminder for my children to see how wonderful being carefree and childlike is.

A big thank you to my sister (the psychologist) who sent us these glasses. I wonder if she ever puts them on during one of her sessions? I don't think I would be able to resist doing it.

Hooray 4 Today!

Conversations With My Children ~ The Importance of School

I just asked Brosden and Bella to help me with something, Bella said she was training her internet Webkinz to go to school.

"Yeah, Dad. You always say how important school is." - Brosden

"That's just something we say to get you guys to show up. Now, come upstairs."

And they did. They both laughed, stopped what they were doing, and did what I asked. I think having a sense of humor goes a long way in parenting.

Both mothers will call me up and say, "Talk to your kid. They're not listening."

The bond that is created between two people laughing is at the very least, strong enough to allow me to ask them to listen to their mothers out of simple respect for her. And they will.

Maybe this has less to do with who I am, as oppossed to how I am. Instead of forcing obedience, let it flow from laughter. Instead of demanding respect, let it flow from a respectful heart.

(found these old pictures of Cristina and Sofia having a "no utensils allowed" dinner. When they told me how cool I was, I told them I was just trying to find a way not to have to wash the dishes.)

Feeling It More and More

Baby Kaleb's condition got me, so I got my kids. It's funny how this mysterious thing called love is capable of so much. I seem to understand it less and less, and feel it more and more. It's like zen. You can't really define it, only experience it. (Brosden reading to me last night)

All I know is that I tried to study and couldn't concentrate. I lifted weights until my muscles shook from fatigue but felt no release. (Sofia sleeping upstairs right now)

I drove around Orlando trying to track down my kids and felt frustrated. I called my sister and just listened to her tell me how my godson Jack (the inspiration for the "My Name is Jack" books ) is wearing big-boy pants for the first time today......and I felt better, just listening to her voice. (Bella is the best of all of us - always falling asleep first)

I met Sofia at a gas station whom I could hear yell "Daddy!" as I pulled up beside her car, and I felt the world around me changing. We picked up Brosden and Bella and I felt harmony, hope and happiness. (Brosden is usually the last - no shut-off switch, just like me)

I don't know what love is, but I do know how it feels. And it feels good.

When we are older
And surrounded by love,

We realize the gifts right before us,
Are what we're most grateful of.

- Adam Stuart

Sofia telling me she's "going to work"

Explaining to me that she's an artist

Showing me her artwork
Acting crazy (can't imagine where she gets that from :-)

Art on her face. Kisses on her lips.

We went to visit our neighbor's turtles.

Science learning happening naturally and playfully

Their smiles light up my world (always smiling these kids - what's wrong with them :-)

We missed Cristina, so we sent her messages on MySpace (holding a crab we found at the beach last week)

Hi stina, we miss u and we hope u can come again - BROSDEN

Come back sometime soon. We miss u - BELLA

We love u. Brosden n bella n Sofia we love u. We love u. I wish we could go back to the beach n hotel again n all the time. Good times. Good times. Dad you're slouching. - SOFIA (they get money every time they catch me slouching)

My spirit renewed, I send out resounding inner strength to Baby Kaleb and all of you. Today is a new day. Today is the day we create our lives anew. It is Groundhog Day (see this movie if you haven't already. See it again if you're not saying "That's right. It is Groundhog Day!"