To My Children

A Christmas hug

From me to you

My heart opens up

And covers you


You'll never know

What a gift you are

Without your love

I couldn't go far


So on this Christmas

And forever more

I give you my all

From Winter to Fall


Merry Christmas 2007

Daddy

- Adam Stuart (December 24, 2007)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

Thank you for all your gifts all year long of warm thoughts, best wishes, internet hugs and electronic kisses :-)

Unconditional Love

Love is wonderful enough.....

...Unconditional love is a priceless treasure, and I happily wear myself out giving it to those I love...



...and accepting it from those who love me, allowing me to laugh when I have every reason to cry.


Sofia told me she loves me and mommy, but only her heart loves mommy because she buys her pretty dresses. Even though Sofia quickly added that she knows mommy buys her dresses with money I give mommy, her heart only loves mommy.

I'm OK with that for now, because I believe in the power of unconditional love, at least with children and family, and I know Sofia is learning unconditional love from me.



My own mother was afraid to hug me when she saw me for the first time in 10 months. She doesn't like my goatee, and now my long hair and tattoos are "just ruining her baby boy's good looks" and make me look scary.



My father told me I look like Robert DeNiro in the movie "Cape Fear".



But.....they both told me they still love me anyway, no matter how ugly I make myself.

I just want to be real. The hair and tattoos have been part of this journey; the long hair because I don't care about being attractive, and the tattoos, rings, and necklace all reflecting warrior beliefs from ancient Chinese, Japanese, Celtic and Native American cultures.





Which I hope is teaching my son strong values....and not just craziness (oops, too late)





And it was beautiful seeing this unconditional love being passed along the generations...








....Which is very good...because as crazy and full of life my son is......




....he's going to need someone to love him unconditionally







I know he loves life this way.

Let the Children Lead the Way - End of Summer Photos

I know many of you have let me know how much you like the photos of the kids. I do too. I'm determined to capture their sensational spirits forever in these albums, forever reminding them of their natural brilliance, and letting them know how much I admire them, love them, and treasure them, forever and ever, amen.

CLICK THE LINK TO SEE WHAT I SEE
END OF SUMMER - AUGUST 2007



Happy Labor of Love Day! Let the children lead the way.

Saying Goodbye

"Good night sweethearts. Grandpa will take good care of you." - Sofia saying goodbye to her dolls before we leave to go back to her mother's.

"I reawy have to use my magination with this book." - Sofia picking up a copy of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales to read, and seeing the lack of pictures.

"Just fa-woh your heart. Fa-woh your heart and you'll be fine." - Sofia reading "The Little Mermaid"

From a fairy tale when we're young to "The Secret" to living a full and happy life as adults, it's as if we complete the circle by returning to our innocence, reminding me of the song by Enigma off the Pure Moods cd ("Return to Innocence).

Why is it for children life seems so happy and simple? Is it really because they have no responsibilities? Or is it because they intuitively know to let themselves be guided by their hearts, holding truth in one hand and full confidence in the other?

The most successful adults I have studied show the same characteristics; blessed with careers their hearts are truly into, wealthy with inner joy AND dollars as they operate with full confidence and living the truth of who they really are (versus trading their lives for dollars, gaining material possessions and looking to others to validate who they are, and waiting for "one day" to really live).

"When we're children we still remember." - Laura Lee

Our Children Are Watching

Looking at the post from yesterday and appreciating Todd and Angie even more ("What is Love?"). I remember them calling their children while we were at the airport to say goodnight. I see "16" and "14" in my notes. Must be their children's ages.

What a wonderful example they have set for their children; a marriage that does work, that does last. I cannot say I have set the same example for my own children. I know I and their mothers have tried, but we could not do it.

I've heard them say things from "I'm never getting married" to "I'll marry a man, have a baby, then when I get tired of him I'll kick him out and marry another man."

Ouch! Not a great "reality" these children have learned so far. And it is too bad that so many of our nation's youth are growing up with this idea of marriage. Since it is truly "too bad", we cannot allow it to continue.

We must point to examples like Todd and Angie as proof that it does work, and the reasons why; such as appreciating each other and being consciously grateful for one another.

It does seem as though what you appreciate you continue to have in your life. What you take for granted is taken from you. And when you focus on the problems in a relationship all you get are more of the problems.

By thinking about, talking about and taking action on solutions to the problems we have in our relationships with our own children, we single parents are showing them how to do the same with the future person they fall in love with.

And if they still are pessimistic that they can find someone whose been taught the same skill, they can always become a marriage counselor. This seems to be a growing career field :)

.....to be continued

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved

Kisses and Tickles

Whenever I'm around my children I find myself telling them that I like them, that I like who they are. This can convey so much more than saying "I love you", and even help them understand why we love them so much. I think this is important because of the times when we parents don't like what they've done. For instance:

Finding the peanut butter frozen in the freezer and the popsicles melted in the fridge.

A trail of every tie I own all over the house because my son pretended, again, to be some formally dressed nude superhero (when he was younger).

The stamp pad I use to grade papers being used to grade the size of a small foot, which left its very black footprint here, here, here, here, here, here..........................................EVERYWHERE!

So how do we not put up with misbehavior yet not build walls of defensiveness and insecurity at the same time? The answer......Kisses and Tickles. But I'll get to that later.

To make it tougher, I'm a single parent, as are many of you. At least with two parents in the same home one can act as "goalie" (as Bill Cosby calls it) and "put the kid back into play" when they try to get away.

I have old-fashioned values: when mom or dad speaks, the child listens. You're allowed to have a difference of opinion but not allowed to express it disrespectfully. You are allowed to be you, and this means the you who is above all honest. Make all the mistakes you want, just learn from them. Open the door for your sisters and say thank you to your brother.

So the secret to having high standards and raising healthy, happy, confident children seems to be having high love and appreciation for everything they already are, and everything you know they truly can be. And this means noticing the little things about them. Paying attention to what they do right.

Earlier I was helping Sofia sort out the marshmallows from her Lucky Charms. According to her, the cereal parts "are marshmallows waiting to happen, but they'll take a long, long time. And they're not so good tasting right now". So she sets them aside for later (much later I'm guessing).

As I watch her concentrated face and determined little hands, I fell in love with her all over again. And I said those three little wonderful words.....

"I....Like....You!"

"I like so much about you
I like how you eat only the marshmallows

I like the way you hide your eyes from me
I like when you sing and put on shows

I like the way you sit on my lap when I write
I like the way you itch your nose

I may not always like what you do,
But I will ALWAYS, like you.....

From your beautiful big head
to your teeny-tiny toes."

- Adam Stuart
Written for you Sofia while watching you separate marshmallows

(the last verse worked well with kisses all over her beautiful head and my fingers tickling her toes)



For the adult versus of saying "I Like You", go to "Saying 'I Like You So Much'" by clicking here.

To see the trouble taking all the marshmallows out of the cereal causes, go to "America Begins Again" by clicking here

"Singin' in the Rain" is on, and it's time to go. (Another old-fashioned value. If they want to watch Sponge-Bob Square pants, then by God and their father they will also watch the classics. And believe it or not, they not only like this musical but dance to the songs and become the characters. I'm Gene Kelly!!)

For the parent and romantic in you, check out "Singin' in the Rain" by clicking here.

Enjoy your evening, everybody! May it be spent in kisses and tickles.

Date Night With Dad

Tuesdays have become my childrens' date night with me. We have been bowling the past few weeks, which I haven't done in a long while. Being a father isn't complex. From what I can tell all it takes is love. But it isn't easy because it takes a whole lot of it. It's easier to give excuses, and when you're a single parent you have a lot of them, man or woman.

Being there is what counts. They are my zen. Time to pick them up and make time stand still, creating moments that will last forever. I learned how to do this when my parents took in a foster kid I didn't want them to.

Another story for another time....but thanks Mom and Dad for showing me I was wrong then, so I can be right now for my children.

Once Upon a Tree

This is a draft of the first chapters of a book series I'm working on called "Once Upon a Tree". The very cool thing about this is that I get my ideas from watching the characters, my own children, play on a real tree, which is where we're headed now. I live near the historic district in Downtown Orlando, and this tree is in a park within walking distance from my home. (Sofia picked a flower for me but wouldn't let me smell it)

From my days in business I remember someone telling me to find someone who has what you want, do what they did, and you'll get what they got. C.S. Lewis, the author of the "Chronicles of Narnia" books, is one of these people for me.

Doing research, I found out that "During the Second World War, when children from London were being evacuated to the country, four youngsters were billeted at Jack's home, the Kilns. Surprised to find how few imaginative stories his young guests seemed to know, he decided to write one for them and scribbled down the opening sentences of a story about four children -- then named Ann, Martin, Rose and Peter -- who were sent away from London because of the air raids, and went to stay with a very old professor who lived by himself in the country.

That's all he wrote at the time (he was 41 years old), but, several years later (at age 51), he returned to the story. The children (now named Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy) found their way into another world -- a land he would eventually call Narnia."

I got the idea for my own series based on teaching inner-city children who were two and three grades below grade level, hoping to bridge the learning gap for them. But the chances of anyone writing something so great for its readers that it becomes as world-famous as The Chronicles aren't great. The C.S. Lewis' and J.K. Rowlings' (Harry Potter), Shakespeare's, Twain's and Poe's come once in a lifetime.

But so what if the chances aren't great. All we need is one. And that one chance for me comes every time I open my eyes in the morning and realize I've been given one more day to live.

They were/are everyday people just like you and me, only with non-everyday dreams. If they could do it, so can I. Whatever you do, do it big; loving, dreaming, playing, learning, and writing. It was in teaching these inner city children that my "Dream Big, Do Big, Be Big" class motto came to me four years ago.

The most important thing is that together my children and I are creating something that will last forever in our lives, and it is being created out of my children's personalities and their father's imagination. Enjoy reading the story they've given me so far, while we go play and write some more. (I think I had to give her a kiss before she let me smell the flower)

Bella just sent Sofia up to tell me we had to go to the tree. After reading what I wrote for the first time, Bella told me in no uncertain terms that she isn't bossy; so now she's ordered Sofia to come and get me. Here she's practicing martial arts with her older sister's jujitsu belt. I think my own daughter is sending a warning to be careful what I write in the future about her.

Chapter One

“Where’s Drozden?”

“Bella, where’s Drozden?” Sofia asked. Her older sister smiled. She didn’t expect her four-year-old little sister to call her by her full name, which was Iszabella-Esperanza. In fact, nobody did. Everyone just called her Bella. Sofia couldn’t even say her brother’s name yet, which was “Brosden”, with a “b”. How in the world could she be expected to pronounce “Iszabella-Esperanza”?

“He’s up in the tree, Sofia” Bella said impatiently to her younger sister.

“No he’s naught”, Sofia responded, drawing out the vowel in the last word, which Bella, age eight, found annoying.

“Sofia, he’s right there!” pointing at the branches above their heads without looking. Her little sister annoyed Bella a lot and this was beginning to be one of those times.

Looking up and slowly turning her head in all directions, Sofia finally looked back at her sister and said, “No he’s naughtttttttt”.

Bella looked up, expecting to see her brother hanging upside down from a branch, covering his mouth to control his laughter. Her brother, age ten, lived to play and laugh, and was always up to something. But this time he wasn’t there…..

Chapter Two

“Just a Big Old Tree”

Now the tree the girls were talking about wasn’t any ordinary tree. True, it was an old and big tree in a park just down the street from their father’s house. But it was more than “just a big old tree Dad wants to show us”, as Brosden said to Sofia, helping put on her shoes to see the tree for the first time. Little did they know the surprise they were in for, as this turned out to be a really, Really, REALLY OLD and BIG tree....with a magical and mysterious secret.

It was so old and big that Sofia said it looked like it grew all the way to the sky. Brosden ran from where the branches spread out on one end all the way to where they stopped on the other end, gasping for breath. And Bella sat back in amazement as the tree’s branches looked like giant fingers reaching all the way back to the ground.

“Dad, are we allowed to climb on this tree?” Bella asked.

“What else is a tree for?” her father said smiling as he watched his three children race from where they were and begin scrambling up the welcoming fingers of the branches. This is a sight he would often see as he would sit underneath the tree working on his stories while his children played above his head.

Chapter Three

“The First Scroll”

“Brosden! Where are you?” Bella called out, shielding her eyes from the glare of the sun as she scanned the branches for signs of her brother.

“Drozden, wear are yooh?” Sofia repeated, and covering her eyes completely while starting to count, thinking they were playing hide-and-seek.

“It’s Brosden, 'bah..bah'...Brosden, Sofia, with a 'B', not a 'D', and stop counting. Brosden, come out right now!” Although younger than her brother, Bella tended to be a little bossy.

“Drozden, wear are yooh??? Come out white now!” Sofia said imitating her sister.

“Sofia it’s….oh forget it.” Bella said exasperated. “Come on, let’s go find him. Give me your hand.”

As Bella carefully walked her little sister up one of the huge branches, they could see the dirty tennis shoe of their older brother. “Brosden, why didn’t you answer us?”, Bella demanded. Her brother didn’t answer, but just sat there reading an ancient looking piece of paper. This alarmed Bella more than thinking her brother might have fallen out of the tree, because her brother never read unless Dad made him.

“Brosden, what are you reading?”

“I’m not sure” her brother replied. “I was hiding from you guys when I reached in this hole I’ve never seen before. I felt this rolled up inside.”

“Let me see!” Bella said as she snatched the piece of paper from her brother’s hands. “It’s a scroll!” she declared excitedly.

“A what?” asked Brosden.

“It’s a droll Drozden” Sofia tried to explain to her brother. “Bella, what’s a droll?”

“A scroll Sofia, ‘sc’..roll. It's a very old piece of writing.”

“What does it say?” asked Sofia innocently.

Chapter 4

"The Riddle of Curses and Traps"

Even though his sister had the piece of paper, Brosden answered Sofia’s question by repeating the writing on the scroll word-for-word. He was very bright when he focused and applied himself. What he read had made him totally focused:

This tomb is protected
With curses and traps

Geometric
figures
Are your only map

Step with care
If you dare

Of
similar shapes
Be very aware

The floor will hold
Only those
smart and bold

Avoid congruent shapes
And your path will be gold

“What does that mean?” Bella thought out loud.

“What’s a domb?” Sofia asked.

“Tomb, tah..tah..tomb Sofia” both Brosden and Bella responded in unison.

“It’s a …..” but before Bella could finish, the mysterious hole in the tree above her brother’s head was widening, getting larger and larger. Before the three children could move, the branch they were on lifted them up and slid them into the hole……

Laugh and the Whole World Laughs With You

If "Smile and the whole world smiles with you" is true, then it's also true that "Laugh and the whole world laughs with you".








At least that's what happened yesterday.










While eating it seems some of Sofia's food kept disappearing.






The culprit was finally caught.






And I noticed others were smiling and laughing at this brother-sister comedy.






It's good to bring smiles, laughter and love to the world.









It's very satisfying to see your children do it.-






You know you must be doing something right.







And as is always true, everything that is real and that lasts starts from the inside-out.





Real happiness, love, fulfillment, wealth, etc. never exists outside oneself.


When you see and feel these things and your dreams inside of you you don't have to seek it elsewhere,


which allows you to have more of these things to share with others.




The happiness and love that exists between my children and myself begins with the happiness and love we have inside ourselves.



Together we create it in our home,







then bring it outside into the world.

And a day spent being happy brings a night of good rest.


Today was a good day.



A very good day.