Shining Brightly in a Time of Darkness ~ Michelle & Gwyneth Nicole

In a world filled with so much tragedy and negativity, certain people shine so brightly they chase away the darkness with their light. Often these people are the ones who have the most reasons for not shining at all, yet choose to in spite of their hardships.

I asked if I would be able to repost in honor of her daughter's death, six years ago today. In her response I was further inspired:



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Michelle
Date: Mar 16, 2008 3:47 AM

Hi Adam,

Thank you so very much for your comment on my perspective regarding my daughter's death. You certainly may share it and repost it.

My one true passion from her death is my desire that if my words can help just one person cope, feel hope or gain insight from my experience, then I have done well.

Certainly, I am not a writer, but it's best described as "life experiences". Would I change the hand life dealt me? No... it is part of who I am. Having that experience led me to realize and the fact that no matter how long a child is on this earth, the love never dies. An earthly bond is broken, but the spiritual bond lives on forever.

And as always... your words inspire me and your work with your students and your own children continue to amaze me.
Thanks again Adam... Your words and kind thoughts mean a great deal to me.

Peace to you always ~

Michelle

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Michelle
Date: Mar 16, 2008 3:47 AM

Michelle ~

I have just been struck with an idea to write a book called Inner Strength.........dedicating each chapter to people who exhibit it in such a way that it inspires others greatly

with so many parents rightfully complaining about the difficulties of raising their children, they need to remember what a blessing it is to still have their children.

for me, your story makes me feel so blessed to be able to see and love my children, even though they don't live with me

i have no idea when i would have time to write this book - but my instinct tells me it would be a great idea, it would mean a lot to its readers, and you would be a perfect choice for a chapter

Thank YOU, Michelle, for your attitude and strength in dealing with something that would bring most people to their knees in despair and misery

Adam

**This is Michelle's post that struck me so much. After is a video that Treyya posted today that is VERY worth watching, and exemplifies Michelle and her thinking. Enjoy...Appreciate....and Change Your Life!

03/12/08 9:33PM
Angels are watching... In memory of my Daughter

~ Guardian Angels

When Angels sense you need them,
And Angels always do.
They come, unseen, from everywhere
To help and comfort you.

They hover close beside you
Till all your cares are gone,
Till they can see you’re ready
Once again to carry on.

Then some of them may fly away
And take their gentle touch,
To other hearts that need
The love of Angels very much.

But one, at least, stays with you
As your constant friend and guide,
For GUARDIAN ANGELS never leave,
They’re always at your side.

Author Unknown


~It is not known precisely where angels dwell
Whether in the air, the void, or the planets.
It has not been God’s pleasure
That we should be informed of their abode.~

Voltaire


As the sixth anniversary of my daughter’s death approaches, I step back and take a good look at what her brief life gave me, where is has taken me and from her death, who I am today.

Gwyneth Nicole is my daughter’s identical twin, there is an unspoken "twin to twin" connection that is very obvious, even to those with an untrained eye. Do I hide the fact my daughter HAD a sister? Certainly not. Gwyneth will be and remains very much a part of MY life today as she is in her sister and both brother’s lives. She was loved, she is loved and she wil forever be missed. I am asked if I believe in "Angels"... my reply is always, "Yes, I HAVE ONE".

As the 16th of March draws closer, I have that familiar feling of dred, an anxiety that I imagine will never leave as each "anniversary comes and goes"; perhaps something I will experience for the rest of my days. It was on the Wednesday before she died we were told "her chance for survial was essentialy non-existant".
I will forever be haunted by many scenes, circumstances and the ultimate cause of her death. She suffered for 14 long, painful days and a second surgery to "repair" the error with no questions answered, no apology, nothing from the surgeon or "fellows" who performed the surgery.
She is, as it is deemed in our "medical world", a causulity, yet another medical error overlooked.

And yet, I know am a better person, a better mother and feel as if I am a stronger and more insightful person because of her. Gwyneth was an extremely strong infant, she FOUGHT with every ounce of strength she had in her tiny body; which was a truly amazing sight to witness.
The experience of the loss is overwhelming, part of me died the moment she left this life.

She died in my arms on March 16th, 2002, just as the clock turned 7:00 AM. Her head was resting on my chest as she took her last breaths and her heart took those few weak but powerful beats... and she left this earthly realm feeling my last soft kisses on her beautiful cheeks, with my words whispered in her ear... you will never be alone, It is okay to go, you have been and forever will be my light, I love you. I will forever be in awe of your all too brief moment in time with me...
you changed my life forever.
Go and be my ANGEL.

The skys opened and a tremendous crack of thunder rolled across the Heavens as the gates were opend for her to enter and slammed closed. She was HOME. The tears then rained from the Heavens as the Angels cried for our loss, yet welcomed her home; and the tears flowed from every physician, "fellow", resident, nurse, and aide that day. This very tiny baby touched so many in ways that still my heart.

As we left the hospital late that day, the sun came out in brief, yet amazing spots, it shined through the dark clouds like a beam of hope as we drove home, and I saw a rainbow.
Peace she whispered, I am fine.

In loving memory:
Gwyneth Nicole Rhodes
Born at 24.5 weeks 1.1 pound, 12 inches long.

January 14th, 2002 ~ March 16th, 2002.



~ Perhaps you’ll see them briefly
From the corner of your eyes
Or hear the music of their wings
As they float softly by. ~



**Thank you Michelle for writing this post. You have reached at least one person, and that person is me. Here is the video that can change anyone's life, no matter how miserable or fantastic it is at this moment....because it is the moments we allow ourselves to live in that determine the kind of life we live.

Peace, Love & Inner Strength to all

Adam

From: TREYYA
Date: Mar 16, 2008 7:34 PM




Gratitude & Love To: 33. 33 Alice In Quantumland 12*21*2012



This is an inspirational story of Louise Hay of Hay House Books.
It tells us how we can heal ourselves and our lives.Featured in the film are: Gregg Braden,Esther Hicks,Wayne Dyer,Candice Pert and more.

Open Arms

I AM OPEN AND RECEPTIVE TO ALL THE GOOD AND ABUNDANCE IN THE UNIVERSE.

~THANK YOU LIFE!~

(*from Luise Hay's, You Can Heal Your Own Life)

There is Zen in Fire

This is from "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. Her company, Hay House Publishing, took a gamble on Jerry and Esther Hicks and published "The Law of Attraction". Esther Hicks was then asked to be in the popular movie, "The Secret".

While "The Secret" focused heavily on prosperity and abundance in terms of money, Louise talks a lot more about creating the prosperous thoughts that create a truly happier life.

I share this for anyone out there who isn't happy with some aspect of their life. Like so many of us, I was frustrated with my cycle of repeating one bad relationship after another.

Now with children involved and each failed relationship being more devastating, I felt one more heartache and my heart would literally break, leaving me a broken man. That was if I wasn't already. My greatest source of strength was/is also my greatest weakness, an open and never-ending heart.

When I gave myself I gave it all, being completely vulnerable. I was OK with being this way (and hope to be again) until I realized that the women I was attracting were using this vulnerability to hurt me when they weren't happy. So kind and wonderful in the beginning, they became so ugly by the end with their chronic criticizing, complaining and condemning.

I experienced this on such an abusive level, putting up with it "in the name of love" long after I should have put a stop to it. I kept thinking if I just kept loving enough, things would change. At 35 I had a heart attack, working three jobs while working on my masters and sleeping two nights a week, being a husband trying to make his wife happy, and being a committed father to five children (hers, mine and ours).

Fortunately, after four days in the hospital and several tests, the doctors told me I had no permanent damage and was healthier than they were. They were perplexed, and concluded I had been given a very big warning that I was to take VERY seriously.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), now when I encounter a complaining and criticizing person, I run from them like the plague. I immediately shut down from them emotionally, keeping as much distance from them as possible so I don't get infected.

I didn't know what I was doing wrong to attract these people but knew I had to find out for my own health and happiness and my children's. So for 2007 I resolved to not get serious with anyone for at least a year, and instead spend that time healing and improving myself. Focusing on what was wrong with others wasn't improving my life, and I didn't want to bring my own garbage into anyone else's life.

I would deal with it and clean it up, and give the next relationship a healthier person, hoping it would be with a healthier person ("I attract only healthy relationships" - great line from Louise's CD).

"You Can Heal Your Life" opened my eyes to a lot about myself. But it took opening my ears and mind, A LOT! From January 1st and into March I would listen to her CD anywhere from 1.5 - 4.5 hours a day. I don't know how I did it, I just knew I found a way to incorporate it into my life. It would be the first thing I heard in the morning and last thing at night, and anywhere in between I could fit it in.

I wanted the pain to stop and simply took the pains to fill my head with more intelligent thinking than what I had been doing. The more I did this, the more peace and hope I began to feel, and realized that there is Zen in Fire.

Great results take great intent. Change CAN and DOES happen to average people like you and me everyday; as soon as we get rid of our average thinking and stop limiting ourselves. Good things DO happen to good (thinking) people. Just for fun, I'm going to see if GREAT things can happen GREAT thinking people.

Here are some of her thoughts that helped me, and are helping me still. I put them in first-person to make them more powerful. Today is my parent's 42nd wedding anniversary. Congratulations Mom and Dad. Thanks for being good role models. It gives me the courage to keep believing.

It is Louise's desire that each and every person learns how to use affirmations to create love, peace, joy, prosperity and a sense of well-being for themselves.

Today is a new day. Today is the day for me to begin creating a joyous, fulfilling life. Today is the day I begin to release all my limitations. Today is the day, for me to learn the secrets of life. (This is a published picture of Camargue's horses - I feel like I'm looking into Heaven when I see this.)

I CAN change my life for the better. I already have the tools within me to do this. These tools are my thoughts and beliefs.


An affirmation is anything I say or think. A lot of what I used to normally say and think was quite negative, and did not create good experiences for me. I am retraining my thinking and speaking in positive patterns and I AM CHANGING MY LIFE!

An affirmation opens the way and is the beginning point of change. In essence I am saying to my subconscious mind: I am taking responsibility. I am aware that there is something I CAN DO to change.

Doing an affirmation is consciously choosing words that will help eliminate something from my life or help create something new in my life. *EVERY thought I think and EVERY word I speak is an affirmation.

All of my self talk is a stream of affirmations. I am using affirmations every moment, whether I know it or not. I am creating and affirming my life experiences with every word and every thought.

My beliefs are merely habitual thinking patterns that I learned as a child. Many of them work very well for me. Other beliefs may be limiting my ability to create the very things I say I want in my life.

**What I want and what I believe I deserve may be very different. I need to pay attention to my thoughts so I can begin eliminating the ones that are creating experiences that I do not want in my life.

Every complaint is an affirmation of something I think I don’t want in my life. Every time I get angry I am affirming I want more anger in my life. Every time I feel like a victim I am affirming that I want to continue feeling like a victim.


If I feel that life does not give me what I want in my world, then it is certain I will never get the good things life is giving to others, until I change the way I think and talk. (TBC)

Live a Life Free of Blame

This is a very good enlightening piece from my friends at Daily OM. A lot of us have read/seen The Secret, Law of Attraction, Louise Hay and What the %$*&# Do We Know.

It's an appropriate next-step in the area of past pain and associated blame. Enjoy and Illuminate.

There's Zen in Fire.




June 25, 2007
Burdensome Feelings
Blaming Others

As we begin to truly understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t truly feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behavior. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behavior.

Perhaps the problem lies with the activity of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward under the burdensome feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.

We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.

The Power of the Word

The power of the word is real whether or not you are conscious of it. Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize. Behind every word flows energy.

-Sonia Choquette

Creating Our Lives

They say creativity keeps you young. As I approach my 40th birthday this week I have to say in many ways I'm feeling younger and younger. I attribute much of this to allowing myself to be creative, knowing each time I do, I get better and better at it.

This morning I was adding to my vision board, or treasure map, of what I want in my life. Using my computer's "paint" program, I began playing with an idea for the cover art for the Once Upon a Tree books I'm writing. Although it's only the second time I've used this, I allowed myself to have fun doing it, totally envisioning it as the real cover for the books that will bring so much enjoyment to their readers.

Since we are creating our lives with our every day thoughts and actions, why not have fun doing it? The day may not turn out to be the masterpiece we intended, but it does move us closer to learning how. "Groundhog Day" (1993) with Bill Murray is as good a movie as any for seeing how to do this.

After all, if we created the circumstances we are experiencing today by our "creations" of the past (thoughts, actions and choices), then we can create our futures exactly as we want it with our new creations today. This happens by focusing on what we want it to look like. If all we do is focus on the "what is" of our lives today, we only produce more tomorrows that look exactly like our todays.

Man, no wonder we get bored.

"How ya doin'?"

"Same old, same old."

Yuck! Let's take the time to appreciate what we like in our todays, and learn to turn what we don't like into what we do, by creating it in our thoughts and actions and choices.

"Make good choices, Honey."

As irritating and embarrassing as that was for us to hear when our mothers said it to us in front of our friends, nonetheless it is still true.

Just for today, let's all deliberately choose better thoughts and better actions. Let's give that big beautiful plant that wants to grow inside of us some real sunshine.

Then my friend,
in the end

You'll be delighted and surprised,
to find

At looking in the mirror,
and seeing

Not a picture of forgotten dreams,
and frowning

At all the things your heart knows you could have been,
but smiling

At the masterpiece shining brightly back at you
and seeing

Your biggest and best self,
has come true




"We are what we think.
All that we are arises
With our thoughts.
With our thoughts,
We make our world."
- The Buddha

Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart
All Rights Reserved