2007-07-17

There is Zen in Fire

This is from "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. Her company, Hay House Publishing, took a gamble on Jerry and Esther Hicks and published "The Law of Attraction". Esther Hicks was then asked to be in the popular movie, "The Secret".

While "The Secret" focused heavily on prosperity and abundance in terms of money, Louise talks a lot more about creating the prosperous thoughts that create a truly happier life.

I share this for anyone out there who isn't happy with some aspect of their life. Like so many of us, I was frustrated with my cycle of repeating one bad relationship after another.

Now with children involved and each failed relationship being more devastating, I felt one more heartache and my heart would literally break, leaving me a broken man. That was if I wasn't already. My greatest source of strength was/is also my greatest weakness, an open and never-ending heart.

When I gave myself I gave it all, being completely vulnerable. I was OK with being this way (and hope to be again) until I realized that the women I was attracting were using this vulnerability to hurt me when they weren't happy. So kind and wonderful in the beginning, they became so ugly by the end with their chronic criticizing, complaining and condemning.

I experienced this on such an abusive level, putting up with it "in the name of love" long after I should have put a stop to it. I kept thinking if I just kept loving enough, things would change. At 35 I had a heart attack, working three jobs while working on my masters and sleeping two nights a week, being a husband trying to make his wife happy, and being a committed father to five children (hers, mine and ours).

Fortunately, after four days in the hospital and several tests, the doctors told me I had no permanent damage and was healthier than they were. They were perplexed, and concluded I had been given a very big warning that I was to take VERY seriously.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), now when I encounter a complaining and criticizing person, I run from them like the plague. I immediately shut down from them emotionally, keeping as much distance from them as possible so I don't get infected.

I didn't know what I was doing wrong to attract these people but knew I had to find out for my own health and happiness and my children's. So for 2007 I resolved to not get serious with anyone for at least a year, and instead spend that time healing and improving myself. Focusing on what was wrong with others wasn't improving my life, and I didn't want to bring my own garbage into anyone else's life.

I would deal with it and clean it up, and give the next relationship a healthier person, hoping it would be with a healthier person ("I attract only healthy relationships" - great line from Louise's CD).

"You Can Heal Your Life" opened my eyes to a lot about myself. But it took opening my ears and mind, A LOT! From January 1st and into March I would listen to her CD anywhere from 1.5 - 4.5 hours a day. I don't know how I did it, I just knew I found a way to incorporate it into my life. It would be the first thing I heard in the morning and last thing at night, and anywhere in between I could fit it in.

I wanted the pain to stop and simply took the pains to fill my head with more intelligent thinking than what I had been doing. The more I did this, the more peace and hope I began to feel, and realized that there is Zen in Fire.

Great results take great intent. Change CAN and DOES happen to average people like you and me everyday; as soon as we get rid of our average thinking and stop limiting ourselves. Good things DO happen to good (thinking) people. Just for fun, I'm going to see if GREAT things can happen GREAT thinking people.

Here are some of her thoughts that helped me, and are helping me still. I put them in first-person to make them more powerful. Today is my parent's 42nd wedding anniversary. Congratulations Mom and Dad. Thanks for being good role models. It gives me the courage to keep believing.

It is Louise's desire that each and every person learns how to use affirmations to create love, peace, joy, prosperity and a sense of well-being for themselves.

Today is a new day. Today is the day for me to begin creating a joyous, fulfilling life. Today is the day I begin to release all my limitations. Today is the day, for me to learn the secrets of life. (This is a published picture of Camargue's horses - I feel like I'm looking into Heaven when I see this.)

I CAN change my life for the better. I already have the tools within me to do this. These tools are my thoughts and beliefs.


An affirmation is anything I say or think. A lot of what I used to normally say and think was quite negative, and did not create good experiences for me. I am retraining my thinking and speaking in positive patterns and I AM CHANGING MY LIFE!

An affirmation opens the way and is the beginning point of change. In essence I am saying to my subconscious mind: I am taking responsibility. I am aware that there is something I CAN DO to change.

Doing an affirmation is consciously choosing words that will help eliminate something from my life or help create something new in my life. *EVERY thought I think and EVERY word I speak is an affirmation.

All of my self talk is a stream of affirmations. I am using affirmations every moment, whether I know it or not. I am creating and affirming my life experiences with every word and every thought.

My beliefs are merely habitual thinking patterns that I learned as a child. Many of them work very well for me. Other beliefs may be limiting my ability to create the very things I say I want in my life.

**What I want and what I believe I deserve may be very different. I need to pay attention to my thoughts so I can begin eliminating the ones that are creating experiences that I do not want in my life.

Every complaint is an affirmation of something I think I don’t want in my life. Every time I get angry I am affirming I want more anger in my life. Every time I feel like a victim I am affirming that I want to continue feeling like a victim.


If I feel that life does not give me what I want in my world, then it is certain I will never get the good things life is giving to others, until I change the way I think and talk. (TBC)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You Are Amazing..You make me Powerful..Shared More affirmations on your personal email.(:
Thank U!

Adam Stuart said...

Thank you very much. What a wonderful comment to come home to at the end of a long day. Looking forward to checking my email.

Anonymous said...

Absoulutely Wonderful & Beautiful
Congratulations to your Parents for 42 years.My parents Celebrated their 44th year in April.They keep me believing as well..

Anonymous said...

You have come a long way, Adam. In each article you write you seem to be reaching new levels of self healing. Great piece. TJ

Adam Stuart said...

Thank you anonymous for the congrats to my parents. I'll pass it along. Congrats 2 yours as well.

TJ - I appreciate that much Bubba. Self-healing, self-awareness, self-evolution. We all have things to heal from. If you're not getting hurt, you're not risking anything.