BRING ON THE PAIN!

I received a comment from a good friend on my "The Power of Life" post. He felt bad for me and encouraged me to stay strong and positive, which is a nice thing to say. But I wanted to make it very clear, that being in pain is not necessarily bad. It is in dealing with the pain in your life YOU BECOME STRONGER and MORE POSITIVE. And as your strength increases, so does your ability to cause GREAT change in your life, and hence THE WORLD that interacts with you. (By being a happy and strong person, I believed we could combine great fun with great learning in the classroom)

Pain is an incredible tool to produce miracles. Life IS NOT a pursuit of trying to avoid pain or feel sorry for those that have it in their lives (I was sent to the principal's office at least three times for "expecting too much" from Kenny, yet constantly questioned by other teachers and students if I really ever taught anything because there was so much noise and laughter coming from the room).

The principal chose to trust me. As much as I respect any boss, I was strong enough to believe in myself whether my boss and others did or not. Since I used to crumble when my wives didn't believe in me, I can only attribute this HUGE amount of growth from going through and overcoming MORE fear, doubt, worry and pain involving the loss of my children from my everyday life. Going from a half-million dollar home to a rented room in a neighborhood known as "Crime Hills" didn't hurt me anywhere near this much. (I was too hard on Ryan in the beginning and had to go through the pains of learning a different approach. We ended the year very close.)

I finally learned not to feel sorry for myself (thanks Mom and Dad for saying things I needed to hear). I certainly don't want anyone else feeling sorry for me now. That can only bring me back down and weak. Too many students need me to believe in them. How long can I do that feeling so bad about my situation that I can't sleep at night?

Every person knows how hard it is to hold onto their dreams with each passing year. It is less painful to let them go as foolish and unrealistic than it is to hold on to them. And the more you do make them come true and begin succeeding you WILL have to deal with the pain of critics who really just wish they could be more like you.
(Jessica is a GENIUS! She would create characters to go along with her stories, testing at the very top of the country in reading, and at the highest level you can in math - her WORST subject at the start of the year!)

The main reason they're not more like you is not because they don't have your potential, it's because they haven't put themselves through the process of dealing with their everyday pain as well as you have, and in process, getting strong enough to develop said gifts. This is exactly what I was talking about in "Give One More, To One More". That's why I feel "potential" is nothing. What you do with your potential is everything. (Serena WILL become ANYTHING she wants)

In fact, the more pain, the greater the opportunity for growth. The bigger the obstacle, the bigger you can become. I read somewhere that "you're as big as the obstacle that stops you". I've never forgotten it.

So I put my students through more pain and expectation than they have ever had before.
(I taught Haseeb like Denzel Washington coached his players in "Remember the Titans". This is what worked for him, what he needed. He was accepted to private middle school and Denzel's signed picture is in the room.)

At the same time they experience more fun and laughter than they ever had, probably since Kindergarten, simply because I have taken the pains to learn each of their motivations and learning styles, teach them that way, and then teach them how to motivate and teach themselves.

This produces a great flow of real learning versus trying to force it. As a result, I am allowed to operate as a doctor and strength-coach, identifying and working with individual needs versus standing in front of the room and "teaching" all day. (Kenny, one of my biggest challenges and one of the ones I miss most, grew more in overall reading and math than any other student in the entire 5th grade). I just put a slide show on MySpace (click here) in celebration of their achievement as being one of the highest growing classes in Orange County, FL (the other O.C. :-)

So I say, "BRING ON THE PAIN!" If it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger. I have found this to be very true. I know pain can hurt, but it can't kill. Only you can do that. And ONLY YOU can use it to allow you to grow and become more enlightened, more peaceful, and much happier in the long run, which is TODAY! I have wanted it to kill me in the past because then I wouldn't have to feel it anymore. But I held on one more day, sometimes even one more hour. But I did. (Mighty Malcolm, like myself, wasn't so mighty in the beginning. By the end he was!)

Now I am a healthier and happier person with healthier and happier children, other kids no longer being abused, students in the top of the county and country and I bet the world, straight A's in a tough masters program, and two book series in process. All from struggle, all from pain, all from overcoming fear, doubt and worry - three of the worst drugs you can take into your mind.

So bring on the pain. Bring on the badness. I will not intend or desire any of it, but by Buddha and God and any other enlightened being I can learn from and grow, I WILL SUCCEED. I WILL LIVE WHILE I'M ALIVE. I will live ALIVE-ING versus DYING.

We don't enter school knowing how to do and deal with everything. We don't leave school knowing all of it either. Life is a process, a wonderful adventure that includes scaling cliffs and climbing mountains as much as it does swimming in the ocean and walking through a meadow of flowers.

No matter what mountain you're being asked to climb, CLIMB IT! And when you get to the top, reach out help others up. We are all capable of being more than we're living now, and more greatness than we could ever imagine. Our success is only starting.

There's Zen in Fire! All the time!

*P.S. If you'd like, here is the link to their stories from about Christmas to the end of the year, Stuart's Spectacular Students (I had the strength to know they would be spectacular and hold onto that vision, until they saw it and believed it too. Thank God for the pain I've been through.)

Their stories from the first of the year to Christmas are on Samurai Teaching ~ Sensational Living. This blog got so big I had to make the other. The link to the first student story on the Samurai blog is "The Winners of Washington Shores.'"

There is Zen in Fire

This is from "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. Her company, Hay House Publishing, took a gamble on Jerry and Esther Hicks and published "The Law of Attraction". Esther Hicks was then asked to be in the popular movie, "The Secret".

While "The Secret" focused heavily on prosperity and abundance in terms of money, Louise talks a lot more about creating the prosperous thoughts that create a truly happier life.

I share this for anyone out there who isn't happy with some aspect of their life. Like so many of us, I was frustrated with my cycle of repeating one bad relationship after another.

Now with children involved and each failed relationship being more devastating, I felt one more heartache and my heart would literally break, leaving me a broken man. That was if I wasn't already. My greatest source of strength was/is also my greatest weakness, an open and never-ending heart.

When I gave myself I gave it all, being completely vulnerable. I was OK with being this way (and hope to be again) until I realized that the women I was attracting were using this vulnerability to hurt me when they weren't happy. So kind and wonderful in the beginning, they became so ugly by the end with their chronic criticizing, complaining and condemning.

I experienced this on such an abusive level, putting up with it "in the name of love" long after I should have put a stop to it. I kept thinking if I just kept loving enough, things would change. At 35 I had a heart attack, working three jobs while working on my masters and sleeping two nights a week, being a husband trying to make his wife happy, and being a committed father to five children (hers, mine and ours).

Fortunately, after four days in the hospital and several tests, the doctors told me I had no permanent damage and was healthier than they were. They were perplexed, and concluded I had been given a very big warning that I was to take VERY seriously.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), now when I encounter a complaining and criticizing person, I run from them like the plague. I immediately shut down from them emotionally, keeping as much distance from them as possible so I don't get infected.

I didn't know what I was doing wrong to attract these people but knew I had to find out for my own health and happiness and my children's. So for 2007 I resolved to not get serious with anyone for at least a year, and instead spend that time healing and improving myself. Focusing on what was wrong with others wasn't improving my life, and I didn't want to bring my own garbage into anyone else's life.

I would deal with it and clean it up, and give the next relationship a healthier person, hoping it would be with a healthier person ("I attract only healthy relationships" - great line from Louise's CD).

"You Can Heal Your Life" opened my eyes to a lot about myself. But it took opening my ears and mind, A LOT! From January 1st and into March I would listen to her CD anywhere from 1.5 - 4.5 hours a day. I don't know how I did it, I just knew I found a way to incorporate it into my life. It would be the first thing I heard in the morning and last thing at night, and anywhere in between I could fit it in.

I wanted the pain to stop and simply took the pains to fill my head with more intelligent thinking than what I had been doing. The more I did this, the more peace and hope I began to feel, and realized that there is Zen in Fire.

Great results take great intent. Change CAN and DOES happen to average people like you and me everyday; as soon as we get rid of our average thinking and stop limiting ourselves. Good things DO happen to good (thinking) people. Just for fun, I'm going to see if GREAT things can happen GREAT thinking people.

Here are some of her thoughts that helped me, and are helping me still. I put them in first-person to make them more powerful. Today is my parent's 42nd wedding anniversary. Congratulations Mom and Dad. Thanks for being good role models. It gives me the courage to keep believing.

It is Louise's desire that each and every person learns how to use affirmations to create love, peace, joy, prosperity and a sense of well-being for themselves.

Today is a new day. Today is the day for me to begin creating a joyous, fulfilling life. Today is the day I begin to release all my limitations. Today is the day, for me to learn the secrets of life. (This is a published picture of Camargue's horses - I feel like I'm looking into Heaven when I see this.)

I CAN change my life for the better. I already have the tools within me to do this. These tools are my thoughts and beliefs.


An affirmation is anything I say or think. A lot of what I used to normally say and think was quite negative, and did not create good experiences for me. I am retraining my thinking and speaking in positive patterns and I AM CHANGING MY LIFE!

An affirmation opens the way and is the beginning point of change. In essence I am saying to my subconscious mind: I am taking responsibility. I am aware that there is something I CAN DO to change.

Doing an affirmation is consciously choosing words that will help eliminate something from my life or help create something new in my life. *EVERY thought I think and EVERY word I speak is an affirmation.

All of my self talk is a stream of affirmations. I am using affirmations every moment, whether I know it or not. I am creating and affirming my life experiences with every word and every thought.

My beliefs are merely habitual thinking patterns that I learned as a child. Many of them work very well for me. Other beliefs may be limiting my ability to create the very things I say I want in my life.

**What I want and what I believe I deserve may be very different. I need to pay attention to my thoughts so I can begin eliminating the ones that are creating experiences that I do not want in my life.

Every complaint is an affirmation of something I think I don’t want in my life. Every time I get angry I am affirming I want more anger in my life. Every time I feel like a victim I am affirming that I want to continue feeling like a victim.


If I feel that life does not give me what I want in my world, then it is certain I will never get the good things life is giving to others, until I change the way I think and talk. (TBC)