Become HAPPIER and "WHOLE"ier

"You are MORE remarkable than you can EVER imagine.
You will only EVER be as remarkable as you CAN imagine."

I sent this, or something like it, as a text to someone last night going through a tough time and feeling down on themselves. I'm not really sure I should be using "quotes" though. If it's wrong to misquote someone else, I can only imagine what it means to misquote yourself.

"When I was born I wish my first words would have been 'quote', so when I died I could have said 'unquote'".

- said by Steven Wright, or something like this was said by Steven Wright. I'm probably misquoting him........

But hold on, my story gets better ("quoting" Eddie Izzard). The interesting thing about this wonderful message of belief and confidence in another is WHO I sent this to.

It was to my EX-wife.............I am SUCH a kool kat!

I have come to believe if you want to really live, you have to really forgive. This doesn't mean tolerating behavior that's inappropriate for you and your life. It means letting go of the pain from the past and moving on with your life.

I am very happy with myself that I can still believe in everything she can be, without feeling I'm letting her or the painful memories back in my life. Part of the reason I exist is to make the world a better place, to whomever I can, no matter if they make mine better or not.

If they make it miserable, then they go on the outside of the healthy boundaries I've established for myself (what I will and will not tolerate). And I don't make their lives miserable in return. Instead I live inside my own boundaries and laugh and play with those in it.

I've realized I can live in this world with my arms and heart wide open without becoming a punching bag.

God I wish I would have known this years ago.

But that's what pain is for, to make us smarter and stronger, happier and "whole"ier.

And as I silently observed myself hitting the "send" button on my fone, I realized I was on my way to becoming whole again, like I was when the Universe sent me here, completely perfect as I already was.

(And so was Audrey, my big sister. Love ya, Darlin'!)


"There's Zen in Fire."

And you can quote me on that. - Adam Stuart

Live a Life Free of Blame

This is a very good enlightening piece from my friends at Daily OM. A lot of us have read/seen The Secret, Law of Attraction, Louise Hay and What the %$*&# Do We Know.

It's an appropriate next-step in the area of past pain and associated blame. Enjoy and Illuminate.

There's Zen in Fire.




June 25, 2007
Burdensome Feelings
Blaming Others

As we begin to truly understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t truly feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behavior. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behavior.

Perhaps the problem lies with the activity of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward under the burdensome feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.

We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.