Hold Them Accountable, Not Hostage

How can three simple little words make me cringe and start talking to myself?.....

...Uh Dad?

Yes son/daughter?

I just accidentally.......(broke, knocked over, set fire to, flooded, etc)


I tell my kids they are allowed to make mistakes, just not the same ones over and over....and over. They are testing me on that today.


My son just broke the plate holding the fruit for the chocolate fondue.......

So I start talking to myself in a very familiar dialogue ...

"It's probably OK. Whatever he/she/it broke can be fixed or replaced. Don't lose it and crush their spirit. Hold em accountable. Don't hold em hostage for their mistakes. You made the same ones at their age, probably more. Just make sure they're OK.

Whatever they broke can be fixed or replaced. Just don't break them. Enough of us adults are screwed up and nearly unfixable. I don't need to add any more....."


And yes every adult can and should control their tempers and never, ever abuse a child physically, emotionally or mentally. The damage it does is tremendous, sometimes lasting forever.

If you're stronger you protect, period. No man should ever hit a woman or child. It's not about being macho. It's about being stronger on the inside than you are on the outside. You control your own strength and temper.

I don't judge too many things I don't understand. I do understand temper and passion and explosive energy........and controlling that energy for its best use. Most times I redirect it into my teaching, my writing, my masters, my motorcycle, my lifting and if I'm in a relationship, my loving.

I've tackled a guy pulling a gun on me but never laid a finger on a kid in an abusive way. I thrown punches at street gang members but never at a woman. I have as big a temper as anyone, and if I can control it, so can you.

Because the most important things we can redirect our exploding energy towards in a positive way, are our children, whether they're ours or not.

Peace