In Your Presence

"The time we spend together
is very special to me

The time of these last four days
has been in laughter and worry-free..."


This was a poem I was writing to my children after they left. I wanted them to know how much I........how much I truly enjoyed our time together. How much I truly enjoyed them; the love I feel inside when they're around.

I am in zen, present with life in all its abundance when in their presence, and fully connected to the only real time that we have, the NOW.

I wanted them to know I am truly wealthy in their presence. I have the riches of the richest king. I have true love. And real love is more real, and wonderful, and long-lasting than anything else; money, possessions, titles, and professions.

They have real love for me; a real love that sees the best in me, and treats me with respect even when they're angry or upset or sad.

This is the test of love. How someone who says they love you treats you when they're upset, stressed-out, tired, afraid, confused, etc.







"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.





Love never fails."
-1 Corinthians 13

This real love is the greatest treasure of all. And I am fortunate to have it for and from my children. With them life is very good.

But I had to leave for an appointment before I could finish their poem telling them this. I told myself I would finish the poem later. That later, this later, almost never came. On my way back home I nearly lost my life by a driver looking down at what they were eating instead of the crossing traffic.

My life didn't flash before my eyes, how to save it did. Just before I was about to get run over, I dropped my bike and turned it sideways with my body, stopping just short from the front wheels of the SUV.

I didn't break any bones this time, but have spent the last two days stiff as a board, disinfecting my cuts with alcohol, throwing up, and sleeping a lot. I feel better now, and grateful to have been given one more day to walk again along the imaginary longitude and latitude lines of our planet.

None of us know how much time we have left.

According to a study done in 2000, someone in the world dies every 1.84 seconds.

110 people die every minute

6,611 people die every hour

159 thousand people die every day

58 million people die every year

And in each of our lifetimes (on average 70 years), 4.05 billion people will have died before us.

...About 110 just did.

Maybe it's people like me who shorten the average. I talk to my grandmother on the phone almost every night and she's 88 and in good health. So between the two of us it just might average out. And I know I can just as easily die in a car crash or crossing the street as I can riding a motorcycle. I also know that every time I wake up I have been given at least one more day to live, and that day needs to be appreciated for what it is: THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

I've faced death many times in many different ways (slipping over the edge of the Grand Canyon, trapped by a mountain lion, scaling down sheer cliffs, attempted muggings and street gangs, etc). I don't know if death is teasing me or if I'm teasing death. But I have learned not to be afraid of it. And I have been able to live more fully because of it.

These intense experiences have forced me into a deeper appreciation of the now. Instead of being afraid of failing I use the now to succeed. Instead of being afraid of what people might think of me I use the now to think about what I think about myself.

I run my own show. As Frank Sinatra said in his 1957 film, "Pal Joey", "Nobody owns Joey but Joey".

We are all here to run our own show, to control our minds instead of letting our minds control us. Only in this way can we fully overcome our fears and allow the magnificent life inside of us to create the magnificent life outside of us.

What fears are still really holding you back? And what is it holding you back from? Mine is losing those I love. I've "lost" the everyday experience with my children through divorce. The great amount of pain I feel from that makes it hard for me to allow new love in my life, for fear of losing that too.

This fear takes me out of the present, the now, the only moment I have any real power to change my thinking, and change my life. I am working on it, just as I hope you are working on becoming more conscious of your own fears that are causing you to have limited thinking and a limited life.

There are very few fully conscious people in this world. But the fact that I am writing about it and working on it and that you are reading it is a sign that this number is growing. We are all together in this molecular dance of life. We are all one.

So in this moment of "now", I want to finish telling my children just how much they mean to me. I want them to know how much I feel one with them. I want them to be able to see it and have it for all time. Now is the only time I have to do this. The now is the only time we really have.

In Your Presence

"The time we spend together,

is very special to me.

The time of these last four days,

has been in laughter and worry-free.

I am myself with you,

and the goodness in me you always see.

I am myself with you,

and I am happy and wonderfully free.


No shouting or long-lasting arguments,

even when we disagree.

No angry accusations and hateful words are spoken,

real love allows for patience, trust and imperfections to be overseen.


No fears force us into a worrisome future,

instead we learn about the bee and flea and deep blue sea.

No pain or troubles keep us locked in the past,

instead we dance and play and sing off-key.


We are fully in the present moment,

writing about the great things in us we see.

We are fully in the present together,

reading about how much more we can be.


I treasure the time we have together,

like making us tomato soup and toasted cheese.

Our time together is my greatest treasure,

because it can be taken away so easily.


I want you all to know that in your presence,

I am fully present, my best self, my best me.

I want you to know that in your presence,

I AM ME.





**Ironically, Michael Stribling's "Seven Faces of Home" from the "Out of The Darkness Into the Light" album is playing on the SOUNDSCAPE TV channel. "The signs, the signs are everywhere." (great line from the movie "Fools Rush In")




Copyright © 2007 by Adam Stuart