Saying "I Love You"

I think I'm such a fan of old films because it takes me back to a time when everything seemed..... more I guess; more genuine, more authentic, more real. Saying "I Love You" was more than just three little words. It was putting into expression the painting of all the heaven you felt inside, and all with only...three...perfect ...brushstrokes.
It's hard sometimes not to feel like this type of artwork isn't valued anymore. It's like we're wandering around the streets of Paris and no one wants what we have to offer. The only time what we have goes up in value is after we're dead, or gone.

This morning I went downstairs to get my coffee (Mornin' James). I'm out of coffee so I had tea (Do I look English to you)? I went back upstairs (gonna be tough to "Live Out Loud" today Mr. Dean) and turned on my music.

Keane's "Is it any Wonder" was on. As I listened to the lyrics I began to stare at myself in the mirror, and then reached for the remote to record the lyrics that were quickly haunting me.

I always thought that I knew
I'd always have the right to
Be living in the kingdom of the good and true
....But now I think I was wrong.

Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?

Sometimes it's hard to know where I stand,
It's hard to know where I am,
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand.

Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm
Stranded in the wrong time,
Where love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme.

I've been feeling like I've been born in the wrong time for years; different, strange, valuing the wrong things, nothing more than a spirit wondering this Earth trying to do good and make people's lives better. Since August I've had a poem in my head called "The Warrior Stands Alone" that I hope I never write.

We all have our moments of weakness, when we doubt ourselves and the lives we're leading, and I was doubting mine. But then 4,500 years of wisdom traveled to me from Ancient China, 2,000 years before Confucius:

"Do what is right and you will be fortunate
Don't do what is right and you will be unfortunate
Our results are just shadows and echoes of our actions."

- Counsels of The Great Yu, 2,500 b.c.

All I had to do was ask myself if what I was doing is right. Just like in Groundhog Day with Bill Murray, life only really works out when we are honest with ourselves and others, and see ourselves as deserving of health, wealth and happiness (throw in "and a golden crown in the New Year" and you have my family's Polish New Year's Eve tradition).

If not, if we continue to set aside our dreams for someday, thinking money and possessions are all that matters, if we lie to others and manipulate them for our own selfish needs, we will be very unfortunate in the end, seeing our "shadow" and waking up to the drab of a dead new dawn, in the same unsatisfying jobs, relationships and circumstances, over and over, in the never-ending bleak winter of our lives.

But every day IS a new day, a "new life to the wise man". It's another chance to learn from our mistakes and begin creating a brand new life for ourselves, in all areas. Being healthy, happy and wealthy is possible and does exist, but only for those people who "do what is right".

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

Harriet Beecher Stowe
(1811-1896)

How much more encouragement did I need? Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle" came on and I began dancing to the lyrics. Taking a cue from my 12 year-old daughter who takes silly pictures of herself, I did the same (You make me smile Stina. Thank you).

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out.
Just do your best, do everything you can.

It just takes some time,
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright,
Everything, everything will be just fine.

Then guess what? I heard those three little words again, in a way that made smile with belief and laugh with confidence that what's been true forever is still true today. Saying "I Love You" can still mean something more, something real. And if love can be real, for yourself, for your children, family, friends and that soul mate we all seek, then EVERYTHING can be real, and life CAN BE more authentic, more genuine, and more real.

In "Four Weddings and a Funeral" Charles (Hugh Grant) runs after Carrie (Andie MacDowell) and eloquently professes his love:

Um, look, sorry, sorry

Ah, I just ummm

This is a really stupid question and uh

particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion

but uh….i just wondered by any chance

uh, um, I, I just wondered

uh, I really feel

um, uh, in short

ah, to recap in a slightly clearer version

umm, in the words of David Cassidy in fact

um, while he was still with the Partridge Family

uh, .....I think I love you

(*that's 75 words, and um, sounds, before saying it)

and uh, uh, I, I, I just wondered well by any chance

you wouldn’t like to, uh, ahhh

ahh, no, no, nah of course not

I’m an idiot

Excellent, excellent

Fantastic, I’m so sorry, hey lovely to see you

Sorry to disturb, better get on

BUGGER!

Carrie responds, “That was very romantic.”

Well I thought it over a lot

I wanted to get it just right

And as if it couldn't get any better, at one of the wedding receptions Charles turns to an elderly gentleman to introduce himself:

- How do you do? My name's Charles.

- Don't be ridiculous. Charles died years ago.

- Must be a different Charles, I think.

- Are you telling me I don't know my own brother?

Later, at one of the four weddings, this same man enters the church and is is asked:

- Bride or groom?

– It should be perfectly obvious I’m neither. Great God!