2006-12-23

Life is Fragile. Love is Not.

My son and I were alternating between "A Perfect Day" (2006) and "The Creature From the Black Lagoon" (1954). Unless it's Buster Keaton, he doesn't really go for black-and-whites. So we'd watch when the creature was on, then quickly flip back to the movie with color to keep up with the plot. Being single has it's benefits. You can flip through all the channels you want:)

I liked "the color" movie because it was about a struggling writer. After he gets published and becomes famous though he loses sight of what's really important and leaves a loving and supportive wife and daughter. Then he's told he's going to die on Christmas day. Life is fragile.

It was this line near the end that stirred me the most: "Life is fragile. Love is not". I think that when we are feeling fragile we are lacking in love; from ourselves, from others. In "Meet John Doe" (1941) Gary Cooper's character, the every day common man, monologues how simple life can be when you continue the Christmas spirit for 365 days throughout the year.

The reason so few people do it is because so few people do it. Just as Robert Harlin (played by Rob Lowe) in "The Perfect Day", most people care about the less important things (money, materials, status, success, etc) while what they really want slips away from them, leaving them unsatisfied and fragile. I know I've been guilty of the opposite, thinking this love I have makes me fragile, vulnerable, and alone. And it has at times, until I decided to take control of my own feelings.

But love for who you are, and who you could be, is strength. Enough of this type of love and you become so strong that you become invincible, and no longer fragile. Money can't do this. History has proven it can be taken away at any time from anyone. So can another's love. That's why co-dependancy is so unhealthy. I joked in a previous post that if your lover leaves you they should give you two weeks notice and find you a temp to replace them, just like in the workplace.

The only thing not fragile in this life is love for yourself. This is because it is the only thing you have real control over. With this self-control comes self-respect, happiness, confidence, action towards making your dreams become reality, and the ability to fully and faithfully love others. I'm convinced the reason relationships fail is because one, or neither, partner(s) doesn't love themselves enough to fully and faithfully love the other.

For those on the "losing" side of a failed relationship, don't take it personally. That person didn't love themselves enough to be able to love you enough. Once again, my man Gary Cooper plays a character in "The Fountainhead" that I end up studying and learning from versus merely watching and enjoying. This character, Howard Roark, has more true self-respect and self love than the 100 wealthiest men of his time put together. He is incorruptible and triumphant as he stays true to who he is.

And when's the best time to do this; to decide to love yourself with enough self-respect, happiness, and confidence that you can do the same to another? How about today? No tomorrow is guaranteed to anyone. Robert Harlin's last tomorrow was this Christmas.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was on the losing end. Everything you write seems to hit home with me. Thanks and keep writing. I love your stuff.

Jan from South Dakota

Anonymous said...

i am learning so much on edhelper...........................................................
merry christmas

Adam Stuart said...

We end up on the winning side, as we learn to love ourselves, and attract more attractive people into our lives. We didn't lose, we won!

Rarlynn said...

Keep writing
and
Happy Holidays!

Adam Stuart said...

To my student learning so much on edhelper - WAY TO GO! You are creating a new and smarter self. Keep it up!

Adam Stuart said...

Happy Holidays Rarlynn. I just saw your message. Keep up the amazing work you're doing. Always remember our class motto:
Dream Big!
Do Big!
Be Big!