2006-12-05

Dear Santa

A friend sent this to me and I couldn't resist posting it. It's a mother's letter to Santa. For some reason this post wouldn't accept pictures. It shouldn't be too hard to imagine your own.

There's Santa, of course. Easy to picture.

If you're a mom, go look in the mirror. Easy to see how you could write the very same letter.

If you're a dad, go look at the mother of your children and promise to give her a massage at the end of each day for the rest of the year (and then on New Year's resolve to continue it). Unless she forgets to remind you to make that resolution. Then you're off the hook till next December.

If you're a child, go look at your mother and ask her to tell you once again how kids who don't listen to their mothers don't get into heaven, much less get any Christmas presents. Although you know from past Christmas experience this isn't true (at least the Christmas part) look at her with a sincere face and promise to do better. Try to do better one minute longer than your sibling does.

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.


*Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the moms you know.

****Moms have asked that you pass this on to all the husbands and children you know
.

6 comments:

haseeb said...

I know you are mad at me because I lost the game which was the edusoft but please give me another chance so I can be the buzzsaw during the FCAT.

haseeb

haseeb said...

I dont know if you believe in me but I dream big about myself. And that is all I need for me to be big.

haseeb said...

When you said in class that I spend to much time trying to be in pictures I was hating you and thinking that i want to transfer to another class at that time but I have been thinking that yes I do waste my time trying to be in pictures. So I have decided that I will learn more and spend less time wasting it.I think like the way you are teaching I wll be big. Also do not think that you are being too hard on us

haseeb

haseeb said...

just another chance please

Adam Stuart said...

Although you did well on the test, it was nowhere near your best. If you're capable of more, it's my job to (1) help you see that and (2)help you get there.

I will never give up on you. You know this every time I celebrate your victories and demand you get up after your defeats.

You're capable of greatness, and I won't let up until you realize it. We have 5 months to make you FEEL UNSTOPPABLE (which I think you do by the way you responded) and BE UNSTOPPABLE (which you aren't yet because you let a test you should have aced defeat you into average performance).

Since YOU ARE NOT AVERAGE, THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. I told you I'd teach you as if you were my own child. But if I find you have talent and/or I like who you are, I'll be available to you for your lifetime.

Both have happened. You got me for a lifetime.

Anonymous said...

Hasseb
I am dreaming big about you. look out world Hasseb will make a inpact on all of us