2007-05-16

I intend to live forever, or die trying

I saw these pictures and thought I'd make a slide show.

I made a slide show and thought it should have a catchy title.

I tried to think of a title and could only think of Groucho Marx.

I could only think of Groucho but couldn't think of a title.

So I borrowed one from him.


I'm still shaking from my daughter's close call this morning. And after looking at these pictures again I had to make another post. A bonus? One-of-a-kind quotes from the man himself. Enjoy them while I enjoy having my children still with me.

Click here for the slide show

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.


A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Humor is reason gone mad.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!

Room service? Send up a larger room.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx

1 comment:

Jess said...

I loved this one! It's so funny!I laghed so hard, i'm surprised my dad didn't come up and ask what was wrong with me. You should really do another one like this.:-)