2007-09-28

Love ~ Respect ~ and Laughter

Saying "I love you", and meaning it, especially when you're not feeling it. I've never understood how someone who "loves you" can speak so unloving when they're upset; with you, themselves, or life.

Both my ex's and I truly love our children dearly, but I find myself getting calls asking me to tell our children to listen to their mother. One attributes it to my strong "moral compass", the other to my male deep voice. Three "conversations" I've had with our children during this week come to my mind that I think gives the real reason:

Thanks for putting the game away from last night Bella. The middle of the floor isn't working for me though.

I like how you made the bed son. I assume you're sleeping on the stairs tonight. (He thought this was a great idea, and tried it the next night)

Sofia, you put all the cushions back on the couch without me asking! Remember how I asked you not to "be an artist" on the couch in case you drew on it? Let me show you how you should have put the pillows to hide your "Uh-oh!" a little better. Tonight I'll show you how to use the stain remover.

All three have incredibly strong spirits, and I'd hate to diminish this in them by being demanding and dominating. I ask them versus tell them, and expect to be listened to, the first time. So I think the real reason they listen is not only do I tell them I love them, but show them by respecting them, even when I'm cranky and tired and feel anything but being loving (which I've been all week, and just realized today is the first day I haven't had a headache).

Strong, powerful spirits can exist in harmony together, without taking away from one another. They can actually build and empower each other, in a home where love and respect live, and laughter, lots and lots of laughter.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I really like what you said in your last paragraph. "Strong, powerful spirits can exist in harmony together......." I find that when I'm working with my kids in my class room. Nicely put. TJ