We Can't Do It Alone

I was talking to Kenny's new teacher this week and told him I'd send him the "Happy Valentines Day" post showing Kenny opening the door for his mother. I ending up finding other posts from last year:

"Happy Kenny Day", when the class had learned to appreciate his amazing capacity for love so much that they renamed Valentines Day in honor of his great heart. (Kenny coming back this year to visit....and with great joy and emotion as I write this.......INSPIRE!...without even trying.)

And "My Great Historical Figure" , where after he had been home sick for a week the comments showed how important he was to us:

(This year's class - pictured here with Kenny - know all about him and his accomplishments. At one point last year when we were both just fed up with each other, I looked him in the eyes and told him he was more important to the world than he knew, and that if he would just give me his best he would see it too.

Together we would make the world a better place beginning by making HIS life better than it already was....so much better that he would inspire the world more than he already did. )

Impossible growth and success rarely comes from individual effort. We can do it, but rarely can we do it alone. And if we do do it alone, won't that be sad as we're standing there all by ourselves?
(Kristen hugging me with tears of joy running down her face. You'll see why below)

This is some of Kenny's story........

2006-11-03

My Great Historical Figure

During the History on Parade presentations one student had a difficult time paying attention. As inconspicuously as I could, I helped him focus while still focusing on the student doing their presentation. He asked me why I was being mean to him. I told him I was being kind to him by believing he could do better.

After the parents left and the students went to lunch, I had an idea. (Oh, I was dressed as a biker. When I got to school Tricia in the office (a fellow motorcycle rider) said "Ah, you're dressed as a biker". Thinking of the shirt and tie I had waiting for me in my classroom, the fun side of me said "Yes, that's right." And I got to wear my "costume" all day long :-).

If teachers enjoy teaching and have fun doing it, the students are more likely to enjoy learning and have fun doing it. And I just really, really, really wanted to wear my biker costume.

When I brought the students back from lunch I told them there was one more presentation. I had my own great historical figure to talk about.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. I am up here to tell you the story of a great person. My name is Kenny and this is my story. My life changed way back in the 5th grade, when I was put in a regular classroom and I was seen as a regular student by my teachers. I used to think Mr. Stuart was being mean to me sometimes, but I realized he loved me all the time. He and Ms. Wilson saw me as having the same great potential to have the same great life as anyone else. They believed that I could develop talents and abilities and end up giving the world something so phenomenal, making the world such a better place, that I would be remembered forever."



"Kenny, come up here and help me tell your story."







"You're talking about me? But why?"








"Because this is the Kenny I see; the Great Kenny, The Amazing Kenny, The Best Kenny possible."









"Rise with me! There has never been someone exactly like you. The world will never again see anyone exactly like you. Give the best of yourself to the world. See the Great Kenny I see!"







"I see it!"








Ms. Wilson, who also works with Kenny, showing how proud she is of him. You're a great teacher Ms. Wilson. Together with his incredibly loving mother, we are all affecting this child's life in a powerfully positive way. We are doing our jobs.

3 Comments:

Anonymous said...

kenny you will shine no matter were you are in life. you have lifted your heart and opened the doors for the world to see how specail you are. life will give what you will give your self. I have always enjoyed how your teacher Mr Stuart teaches you and your class. and i know he is very proud of you and your class mates
-JD

11/09/2006 01:22:00 AM

Anonymous said...

I MISS KENNY (X>X)!!! from Skyler Martin

11/10/2006 02:14:00 PM

Anonymous said...

Kenny is Back!!!

11/14/2006 01:03:00 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What will you and I do that will last forever? Historically the chances are, not much. About 90% of us will stop dreaming and doing big, and as a result not ever becoming as big as we were meant to be.

But 100% of us are all gifted. And it's time to develop those gifts and share them with the world.

I say this and "hear" this inside of me because I have seen just this week how bringing others' gifts into the classroom has helped me reach my students just when I, and THEY needed it most.

After the students had left this past Thursday my son came in and took this pic of me. For a week I've been dealing with a lot, including Shanghai's owner wanting him back. (The day after I posted "Our Love Makes Us Immortal", mentioning maybe Shanghai is my path to learning to trust that not everything I love will be taken away...I got an email saying she wanted him back)

And during the week there had been lying and cheating, skipping school, students giving up and not giving their best, etc.

We all are going to mess up and do stupid things out of anger, fear, panic, pain and self-doubt. If we can't learn to overcome and resist these as children, chances aren't good that we will as adults, when everything gets harder and heavier.

Our children NEED US to have the strength to keep believing in them and not letting go of the high expectations we know they can achieve. (Nick and Shawn, runner-up and first place DARE essay finishers posing with Deputy Drake)

Brosden showed me how terrible I looked and asked what was wrong. When I told him I had just run out of smiles and hugs, he said, "Here, take one of mine", and gave me a such a big hug I literally felt it all the way to my heart (proving that it is true when we give unselfishly and purely we create more giving in return).

We can't accomplish great things alone, and I can't thank others enough.....Officer Deputy Drake, the DARE officer who motivated a very rare 100% participation FOR THE 2ND YEAR IN A ROW,

...My fellow 5th grade teachers, who take my kids once a week for skill rotation, and especially Ms. Bruce, who teaches my son; Mrs. Blackmore, who makes extra coffee for me and whose husband signed his Disney artwork with an inspirational message; Mrs. McNally, who puts up with our banging and loud noises; and Mrs. Gryna, who tutors one of my students and as the school's Teacher of the Year will be representing us to the county.

....Mrs. Lyons, a 4th grade teacher who helped me reach a 5th grade student who wasn't even mine, inspiring the chapter title called "Every Effective School Has a Lyon" for a book I'm working on

....Ms. Mosley and Mr. Pollock, the PE teachers who brought former professional wrestler Marc Mero and his program, Champion of Choices, to our school (Ms. Mosley pictured to Marc's right).

....as well as parents who have given us their time and energy (Mrs. Mason, Mr. Bullard, Mr. & Mrs. Dolsak, Mr. & Mrs. Gaffin, etc).

...And people who don't even know these students who have either directly given something or indirectly by allowing me to share something I've read of theirs that with the class:

Some of these are Liz (SWAT shirts), Serenity (books and Kristen), Marc Mero (class/school visit, inspirational quotes and his signed Dream Big pics of himself, Mohammad Ali, and President Jimmy Carter which can be seen in the Deputy Drake pic with Nick and Shawn)

Alexandra (quote), Brian Blackmore (signed Dream Big artistic work), Robert (poem), Jeff (sending us his book), Tui (Christmas cookies), Red (poster) Dodinsky (something special arriving early next week) and Tarringo (his poem, "Miss Parks", in my hands being read to the students....

....which made even those working elsewhere stop what they were doing and listen intently......this is what engaged students look like....and grabbing their minds AND hearts is what engagement is all about

.....and the key to helping them produce greater results than they have ever produced before! (Raymond had perhaps the best week of school in his life....and I know Tarringo's poem played a part in that)

After my son's hug brought me back to life on Thursday, taking Sofia to her current favorite Date Night With Daddy hangout (Congo River Golf - Sofia wearing Manager Dave's hat), and nearly falling asleep at the wheel on my drive home, I logged on MySpace to keep my promise to answer an email. I saw Tarringo had written me and I opened it wanting to thank him for allowing me to share his poem and excited to tell him the effect it had on the class.....

....and do you know what his message was to me?....That he had included me in a post about positive role models......I didn't know what to say. I just kept hitting the "..........." button, feeling completely overwhelmed.

I'm still stunned by the irony.

(Shaking my head awake - Now where was I? Oh!)

It's the teacher's job to reach ALL his students. Whether or not it's the teacher himself doesn't matter. What matters is if he or she is failing to reach the students, by God he better find somebody who can.

I plan on writing more about so many of you. You have thrown your rock in our pond, and the rippling effects it has had have been extraordinary.

Just as you don't stop lifting a weight when it gets "too heavy", we don't give up on our children just because they are difficult to reach! When we hold on and keep "lifting" UNTIL we find a way.......THAT'S WHEN GROWTH and INCREASE IN STRENGTH and ABILITY HAPPENS!

We MUST do the things we think we cannot do - Eleanor Roosevelt

Throughout history so much emphasis has been placed on looks. Being attractive to someone is wonderful. I love good-looking people. Eleanor was not. Yet besides my grandmother, she and Mother Theresa are the most meaningful and beautiful women in history to me.

So thank you all from the bottom of my heart, because that's exactly where I was this week, at the very bottom of what was left. I want your beauty to be shared with the world as much as it has been shared with us.

You have helped us hold on for just one more day when we felt like giving up, giving us the strength to give the heroic effort needed that produced the shouts of jubilation and tears of joy from improbable success the next day.

(Kristen above telling Serenity about her success. She actually ran barefoot that morning to catch the bus to keep a promise to Serenity that she wouldn't miss any more school. I don't know what was said between the two, but Kristen was crying tears of joy and very touched afterwards.)

May God and Buddha and Mohammad all cover you in as many blessings as they have in talents and gifts, realized and yet to be developed.........especially the gift of caring for and loving children you have never met.

The greatest gift and strongest muscle is the heart, and I love and thank you all for yours. (Kelly, who along with Nick tied for the highest Science class test grade, celebrating with Kristen who received her highest test score ever!)

When I told Kenny that when I called next week expecting his teacher to tell me he was giving him his best, Kenny replied, "Don't worry Mr. Stuart, I won't let you down!".......I once again felt covered in his love and beauty...covered in his gift of the heart...and I felt that I could go on believing in myself and others for at least one more week...that IT DID matter...that IT DID make a difference....

....giving me the strength to mean it when I say back to him ...And don't worry Kenny, I won't let YOU down. I won't give up!

You breathe life back into me.....

And this is why Kenny deserves his own holiday....This is HAPPY KENNY DAY from last year

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Everyone has a genius, a talent, a gift....EVERYBODY! I will argue for this as long as I live because I can see it with my soul and feel it in my bones to be true.

Kenny's is his ability to love, to make others feel better, to enrich their lives with a pureness of honesty, an innocence of love and a bravery to show it that so few of us have the power to take into adulthood.

Here's an actual conversation between the two of us:

"You're funny Mr. Stuart" (I can't remember what I did to make him say this)

"Aiy! That I am. And do yoo know why Kenny?" (said in my Scottish accent)

"No. Tell me."

"Because I am happy. I am a happy man."

"Why are you a happy man, Mr. Stuart? See, you're being funny again."

"Aiy that I am! I am happy because YOO are in my class. YOO make mah day good. YOO fill it weeth love, and weeth joy."

"I do?"

"That yoo do. And very well at that. I want tah thank yoo fah dooin' thees Kenny. Yoo make mah life betta', and yer important to me."

"Ahh, no problem Mr. Stuart. I love you."

"And I luv yoo rite back, weeth every bit of me. Now let's get tah work on developin' that grate mind uv yoors."

Kenny's great power is his ability to love. In honor of this the class gave him his very own holiday last month, renaming Valentines Day "Happy Kenny Day".

pictures to follow...as soon as I can find where I downloaded them and on which computer....every one has a gift, and organization ISN'T mine. That's why you don't focus on being better than others; instead you surround yourself with others better than you. Fortunately for me this isn't hard :-)"

- Adam Stuart (November 2006)

Be MORE of a MAN

A comment any man would be ecstatic to receive on my latest MySpace post (The Game of Life) sent me on a mini-plea to my fellow man:

"Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment. Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength." - Lao Tsu

We men are manipulated into thinking we need to prove our manhood by conquering others through material possessions and titles. We strive to appear wise and forceful to the world in hopes the world will validate us as real men. We can't find that from the world, and only our strength allowing us to hold on to what's right will give us the enlightenment to validate ourselves. I don't want to be number one. As much as your comment means to me Stevie, I want all men to awaken from our disillusionment of what it means to be a man...and see with great clarity our true power to effect powerful love and positive change onto the world. We are physically strong for a reason.....not to destroy other men but to embrace and uplift all those around us....and to stop others from hurting and destroying the innocent ...yet the power of a woman is just as great, able to take a man who has let her in his heart and either crush him to the ground or give him wings of grandeur........and vice-versa for women who love a man....We all are equally important to each other......So very equally important

Then I read a post by Tarringo (I Hear You Crying) and realized what a real man he is. He is also gay. But how can a real man be gay? That goes against long-held traditional beliefs. A "man" is what society has told us it is, and we men strive to become that.

But no matter what your personal beliefs are, it matters that your beliefs come from a higher level of thinking.

I've encountered many men who spend their lives being tough guys, rich guys, sensitive guys, sexy guys and martyrs in an attempt to have the world, and more specifically women, tell them they are "men".

There's nothing wrong with any of these things by themselves. They're all great and should be developed in an attempt to become whole. But when they're pursued as an attempt to seek validation for one's manhood they become misleading.

The reason for this rant is that at times other men see me as threatening to their own manhood. Instead of becoming friends and encouraging each other to become our highest selves, they try to make me their enemy. I have no time to prove I'm more of a man than anyone else. And when you tell me you're going to kick my ass or kill me, you better do it, because I'm going to be more of a man by challenging you to be one too after you fail.

(student pictue removed)

Children are dying, women are being abused and men who don't do those things are spending their energy and talents not trying to stop it, but trying to prove they're more of a man than others. We spend our entire lives trying to prove we are better by having a better car, better wife, better job, better children, better income, better looking, better sensitivity, better heart, etc, etc, etc.

People are dying, people are being abused, and we "men" are so busy proving we're men that we can't hear the crying:

She brought you into this life

To love, to guide, and to Nurture

But the day she was taken from your world

Made living without her such torture

…..now motherless,

Looking down at her tombstone keeps the pain multiplying

I hear you crying

You still remember when you were five

The morning you woke up without her there

Leaving you in a world you did not select

With a pain inside filled with neglect

….. now motherless

You have to find a way to keep on trying

I hear you crying

You watched her stick needles in her arm

A mental abuse that brought you much harm

And the day she refused to seek help

Had you hopeless and feeling all alone

…now motherless

Sometimes you just feel like dying

I hear you crying

You remember every time he touched you

As a little girl you couldn't help but wonder

Why she would ever doubt you and refuse

To believe you suffered the sexual abuse

….now motherless

You turned to a life of prostitution and lying

I hear you crying.

©Copyright 10/07 Tarringo T. Vaughan

A Dawgmatic View Original

I believe this poet is a real man, because he can hear the crying, and is doing something about it through his poetry. I mean it when I call him my brother. I also mean it when things are "too bad", they are TOO BAD TO ALLOW TO CONTINUE, and must be stopped.

I'm not welcome in certain neighborhoods I go into to talk to parents who abuse their children or look for former students who have gone astray. I've even been told that if I ever come back I'm not leaving alive.

(student picture removed)

Well I can hear the crying, and guess where I got this MLK shirt?

Just as more hate cannot drive out hate, more violence cannot drive out violence. But violence is a reality throughout human history. And maybe it can serve a purpose. So I send out this challenge to my fellow man, the same challenge I give myself at 3am every day.

Today, be man enough to be more of a man than you were yesterday.

(student picture removed)

If you are threatened by another man, stop and think why he threatens you. Check your beliefs as to what it means to be a man, and look again to see with the eyes of a real man.

If someone has something you want, be happy for him that he developed talents that allowed him to get it, and spend your energy developing talents that will produce the same results.

If someone has beliefs that you don't want, see that your own beliefs aren't born from ignorance, and befriend him to better understand what his beliefs are.

And if you take on another man or even threaten him with violence, and he defeats you, don't get up and say you're coming back with more men, more guns, more lawyers, etc to do what you could not do.

YOU COME BACK MORE OF A MAN!

With more of a heart. More of a mind. More of a purpose in life than to protect your fragile sense of what it means to be a man that you're threatened by others who are different or better than you.

You become strong enough to stop being threatened by those who are different. Replace your ignorance with intelligence and learn the color of one's skin, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, etc have very little to do with what makes a man different than others.

Become man enough to stop being threatened by others who are better than you. Rid yourself of the desire to try to find faults and instead focus on where he IS better than you are. See him as a mentor, professionally or personally. You will find that you are better than he is at something, and he in turn can learn from you.

Everyone around us is better than we are at something.....Let's open up and learn from them.

We are better than everyone else around us at something...Let's share and teach them.

And let's make sure that what we admire in others really matters in the end. And let's make sure that our own talents really matter in the end.

Being a real man can be real hard and even real dangerous. It can get you hurt...and it can get you killed. But the reality is that thousands of innocent people are getting hurt and killed every day.

For 167,000 worldwide, today is their last day. If I'm among those today, I will not go out wasting my time worrying that someone else appears better than me, paining over past injustices, or being afraid of a tomorrow that may never come....Instead, I will focus all my efforts on being unafraid to live fully today by bettering myself and all those I come in contact with.

James died at 24. MLK at 39. I'm 40, and plan on living till 400. But I do know death is coming for me. Once a week I have to avoid a high-speed motorcycle crash into the car swerving into my lane. Last week I went home with chest pains and had to fight the fear of memories of a heart attack sidelined me five years ago.

But instead of being afraid of death, I plan on punching it in the face every time it comes for me. Death is not scary, being afraid to live is.

The man not afraid to kill is dangerous, but not scary. He can be defeated, and then enlightened.

The man not afraid to kill or die is both dangerous and scary, because he has nothing to lose. It is more difficult to defeat him, and even more difficult to enlighten him, so he must be loved, and given something to live for before he can be enlightened.

The man who won't kill, who has everything to live for, and is still unafraid to die....is special.....because he is real. And it is this man who has a real chance to make real positive changes in the world.

Today is very special. The only thing that matters, life, has been given to us. We must make it special by being more than we have ever been before. What stopped us in the past, fears, anger, bitterness, hurt....cannot be allowed to stop us today. We must live today as if we have been given ONE MORE CHANCE TO BECOME EVERYTHING WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED.....BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN THAT ONE MORE CHANCE.....TODAY!

I'm looking at a picture above my desk of James Dean getting into his car moments before he died in a crash. It's the last thing I'll look at before saying goodbye to Shanghai and heading to "work", or what I call, "You mean I spend my day making children smarter, happier and stronger...and I get paid to do it?"

We don't know when our day will come. But we do know that THIS DAY HAS COME, and another chance to start fresh, to become everything we've always wanted....and for us men....a chance to BECOME MORE of a MAN....and help this WORLD to become MORE.