Our Love Makes Us Immortal

Saw this video from Michelle Loves Her Kids ~ Help Us Find a Cure and thought how true it is that my own dog and I look alike. I also received an email from Shanghai's former owner asking how he was doing, and as I was responding, realized for the first time just how much he makes others' days better.

Making the world a better place is so easy, even a caveman can do it....as well as a Chou.

He is a welcome guest at an outdoor restaurant we visit. Many people comment on how beautiful he is as we walk by them on the street and in the parks.

Elizabeth, a handicapped woman, steps off the bus and seeing us getting our mail, shouts, "Hello, Shanghai!" with a beautiful smile; and tells us all about her day as we walk her home.

Dave, a friend of mine who happens to be homeless, holds out his hand as Shanghai comes to sit next to him, allowing Dave to pet his face, something he allows VERY few people to do. And unless he sees a squirrel, will sit next to me and Dave wagging his tail and listening to this great guy telling us what books he's read at the library and his thoughts on life. (We ran into him outside the library when this pic was taken. After Dave went into the library and Bella's mom picked her up, I noticed people smiling at Shanghai so much that it was clear they had been deeply touched, and it seemed as if angels were vibrating around all of us)

And almost every morning on our walks, Shanghai helps me pick flowers for some of the women at work who love their day being brightened and being treated like ladies.

Not to mention the joy he brings to my children. And as I've allowed myself to fall in love with him, the security that maybe not everything I love will be taken away. Who knows? Maybe he will show me the way to let another person in. You want to know what scares me?....

Letting someone into my heart and giving them free reign to run around in there with unlimited access. I only know how to be mad; mad for the world and madly in love (Jack Kerouac of "The Dharma Bums"). I don't want to have to feel I have to protect myself from the one I'm madly in love with.

I know I need to be more of a man after two failed marriages. You have the results you want in life or the excuses for why not. Take your pick. It doesn't really matter how good the excuses are. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. And no matter how many times I sing along with Professor Higgins as to why I don't need a woman in my life, my heart knows what the heart wants. So today I will try to be more of a man than I am, whose real strength lies in his faith of a better and fuller world, beginning with himself.

I also know that because of my post, "Be MORE of a MAN", every today might very well be my last day to try and be more. While it brought out the best in so many men, it also brought out the worst in others. Totally misinterpreting the message and feeling extremely threatened by the messenger, I have been issued another death threat; this time to "prove" he's more of a man than me.

I've gotten them before from my teaching and "community efforts", and now from my writing. It should be easy to see why I don't worry what other people think of me or say behind my back. Hey, as long as they're not trying to kill me, how upset can I really get :-)? I don't need everybody to like me and believe in me. I need them to like and believe in themselves. I love constructive criticism and only want to attract healthy people and relationships into my life (Louise Hay).

The truth is any disgruntled child can kill with a gun just as easily as can a "man". Fear has no place in a world needing to change so much. As the danger increases, so does my ability to live more fully and fearlessly in each moment I've been given....which is what I've been trying to do anyway.

Small minds talk about other people and try to manipulate, control and defeat them. Average minds talk about events and unconsciously pursue a life of "Birth-School-Work-Death" (The Godfathers). Great minds talk about ideas and possibilities and dedicate their lives to thinking, feeling and living deeply; not in an attempt to be superior to his fellow man......but in an attempt to embrace and uplift himself and his fellow man and all we could be.

Man fighting man. It reminds me of red and black ants fighting......I WILL NOT accept this as all we're capable of. For the Love of God! For the Love of Ourselves!.........For the Love of our Children....watching their fathers and men in their lives act so childish.

I am intent on being the biggest person I can become, and it doesn't make sense to worry about what small minds are saying about me or what they're going to do to me.

At the same time, what an honor to have people actually want to kill you. Either you're doing something very right or very wrong. I can't see how learning to look at yourself in the mirror, smiling at strengths and frowning at weaknesses, and challenging others to do the same, is bad. Which makes me wonder what mirror Hitler was looking into:

"Mirror, mirror, on ze vall.....who eez ze fairest, of zem all?"

- "Why it's you, you 'blond-haired, blue-eyed' sexy man you."

"Vye yes, I guess I am. And I think everyvon who doesn't look like me should die!."

- "Jeez. What an arrogant man."

"Vat? I'm an "Aryan man"? I don't know vat that eez but it sounds sexy, like me! Let's do a sexy invasion of Poland."

- "Wait! No! Come back! Couldn't you tell I was being sarcastic? Stick to your painting. You'll get better....Man, this mirror job sucks! First the evil witch and now this guy. I wonder if this Lord Farquaad will be any better." (from Shrek)

(WARNING: This comedian, Eddie Izzard, only says one bad word....but says it ALL the time. So please, don't let your children listen to this clip or yourself if you're offended by the "F" word. My own mother, who taught me how to laugh every day, refuses to watch him because of "the" word. I don't mind it, because I'm just bad, bad, bad :-)

So to my children, whom I started blogging for in the first place, should this be my last day, know that as I watched you fall asleep last night (I got a bonus night with Brosden and Bella) a poem wrote itself in my heart and was whispered to you from my lips

Cover me in kisses
Cover me in hugs
Cover me in happiness
Surrounding me in love

Know that as your father the man I fought against was myself, and I worked hard to be the strongest man I could, giving you a world to inherit that wasn't filled with terror and hate, but made of peace and great love. And I did it because of my love for you.

And to all of you reading this now, THANK YOU for believing in me and the UPLIFTING and POSITIVE comments you leave, as well as the inspiring poems, photos and music you create.

As much as you tell me I inspire you and give you faith in the goodness of humanity, you do the same for me. And you are a nice break from the criticism and ugliness I have to endure because I choose to stand for creating good in the world and refuse to give up or back down. In fact, YOU give me confidence that it CAN be accomplished, and the energy to do my part in making it happen. Some of your words I even carry with me as I go about doing it, tucking them in my head and heart, and pulling them out when I am drained and in doubt.

Even though the world IS filled with criticism and ugliness, what if we chose instead to fill it with honest praise and beauty? What if instead of reacting to the world around us, we created inside of ourselves all the things we hope to see outside, by filling our heads and hearts with all things strong and good?

I may not know what it's like to come home to a loving relationship after the "honeymoon period" has worn off, but I do know how to give it, making sure my children and students come "home" to a loving atmosphere, and write with the purest intentions for each reader to come "home" to; a home where we all exist together in a loving and powerfully empowering equality.

So to all of you:

I wish that you wake up in a spirit of love,
That you make love to the one you love,

That you enter the world with a loving smile,

And as you touch others' hearts feel yourself inspired

And to all of me, with ALL of me, I wish myself to allow for "SHE"

As he rises in the dark,
intent on tackling another day,
he sits on the side of the bed,
trying to clear the cobwebs from his head.

Then SHE touches him,
Her fingers running down his back.
SHE touches him
and brings him back to bed.

And when he "hears the crying",

and gets up to solve problems out there,

Risking his life for lives already so dim,

SHE grabs him and pulls him back next to her,

Keeping him alive by making love to him.
SHE saves HIM from himself.

SHE has become HIS protector,

and has given him more days to LIVE.

"Like it or not, Love is God." - INXS

And finally, to my latest ill-wisher, you know my phone number and you know my address. What you don't know is that I offer you my friendship and brotherhood, and a better understanding of what it means to be a man and really live.

You want so much to be more of a man than I am, reminding of the scene from "Braveheart" where Wallace is challenged to a rock throwing contest as a test of manhood. Learning from that, let me make it easy on you:

You win! There. Does that make you feel better, stronger, smarter? I'm not trying to get you or the world to see me as more of a man than you. I'm trying to get YOU to see yourself as more of a man than you obviously do.

And I have to tell you something else....

When you try to kill me and fail, I won't go quietly into the night. Believe me brother, I will rage against the dying of my own light. And as I'm standing on top of you looking down into your eyes, I will make you become my friend, and work with you until you are able to take all that negative energy and use it to make yourself a better person and the world a better place.

Be careful when you challenge me not to equate kindness for weakness. I am not just one of the scariest and most dangerous men you've ever faced, I am one of the most real. And after our battle, the real battle will just have begun....The battle for you....The battle for your soul.....For the BEST YOU that can be brought out.

"Out there is a fortune waiting to be had. If you think I'll let it go, you're mad. You got another thing coming!" - Judas Priest

The world offers us ALL immense riches of Love, Laughter, and LIFE, and offers them in great abundance for those with the inner strength to seize the opportunities to create them inside of themselves. All that's asked of us is to give them back by exploding ourselves back onto the world in the form of our unique gifts.

But some are still missing the whole point, and you don't need to make an enemy out of me. Adam Stuart is just a name given to some guy, and even if you defeat him.....even if you "win".... you fail.

If you succeed in killing me my misguided friend, know that you've taken nothing from me and proven nothing to yourself, because I've already given everything....Everything.....EVERYTHING! I have away to others. It was never about you and me. We are the same; I am better than you at some things and you are better than me at others. It was a shame we couldn't learn from each other, and I wish you enlightenment after the deed is done.

In fact, with my dying breathe I wish us all enlightened strength, power, passion and love......we don't wait for the heroes to come save us....we BECOME the heroes that save ourselves.....They're watching us to show them how....Both the angels and our children are watching us all

A LIFE for a LIFE! I am more than this flesh and blood you see as so threatening. I am a spirit vibrating at such a high frequency that I will fight against the gods calling my spirit home to stay with you until the life you've taken from me becomes alive inside of you.

You are more than the hate and anger inside of you causing such insecurity. And I will not rest until you know that, even if it means living on after death. Our love makes us immortal. And for some unexplained reason, I have a great love for all of humanity, even if it means my death, and you being the cause of it. I will still have love, and have it for you. You cannot kill that.

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