Dream ~ Sneaking Into Heaven

While working on this book for education I was reminded of a dream I used to have, and noticed how as we change our dreams seem to change too. Before this new dream I had the reoccurring three-year dream of dying and going to Heaven, then riding my motorcycle past the angels' houses at 3 am every morning waking them up. Basically I didn't feel worthy of being in Heaven and was trying to get myself kicked out, which Jesus lobbied heavily for with His Father.

Jesus would complain that He didn't think I should be there, and God's response was, "He doesn't either. That's why he's here."

After the second divorce and not having any of my kids living with me I didn't feel I deserved to go to Heaven. Or maybe because being with my kids was Heaven, going to Heaven itself didn't matter to me anymore.

One night Sofia and I were watching The Nutty Professor. After, we youtubed clips of him and imitated him dancing, making his faces and doing his voice.


Between her laughter Sofia uttered, "I'm in Heaven"........... I stopped and stared at her as an incredible feeling came over me, so warm, and so wonderful.

As we danced to the next clip over and over this feeling grew to the point where I felt so happy that I remember thinking, "This is what Heaven must feel like".


I began wondering if "The Kingdom of Heaven" exists inside a person when they are at their happiest. I started changing my focus from the pain I felt when the kids weren't with me to the happiness I felt remembering when they were. This brought about a new reoccurring dream about sneaking into Heaven and running into Jesus.

I want to point out that it's not that I don't believe in God, Jesus or religion or am trying to be disrespectful to these concepts or to anyone's beliefs. It's just that something tells me that they and spirituality are much more than they've been allowed to be, and in pursuing this we might become much more than we've allowed ourselves to be.

More of us might actually find real inner happiness and cooperation and stop the cycle of pain, suffering and separateness.

I'm aware though that by traditional religion I could possibly be damning myself in the process by questioning the "Unquestionable".

However, I still choose to face this fear and have the courage to challenge what is for what it could be. And since I'm eventually going to die and find out what happens to me anyway, I choose to find the humor now in my possible damnation later and say, "Hang on a minute!"

(WARNING: Some Explicit Language)


The dream is I enter a door to Heaven and into a room that's all white. There are a few people milling about. As I look around I hear Jesus talking to some other angels(? - They look like regular people). His back is to me but as He turns around he sees me.

He stops and says, "Not you again! How did you get up here?"

I tell him I came up to see his father.

"My dad is too busy to see you. He's handling important things."

"I know. That's what I want to talk to him about. To see if there's anything I can do to help."

"You?!? Help Him?!?! You've got to be kidding me."

"No, actually. I'm not. I'm interested in solving the same problems as you two. Do you have any guidance on what more I could do or how to do it better?"

"Yes. Go back to Earth and let the professionals handle it. God has a plan."

"I would but the plan doesn't seem to be working. Are we missing something down there?"

"You're going to be missing your place in Heaven if you don't leave now! And who are you to question God?"

"Look. I'm not questioning, I'm...well, OK. I guess I am questioning. But come on, with so much pain and suffering repeated over and over throughout history I think I have a right to question what doesn't seem to be working. I'll change or do whatever it takes. Just tell me what to do to make life better."

"You can get OUT! That's what you can do. You guys, get him out of here! Listen Adam, you better change your attitude and leave well enough alone, or this will be the last time you ever see this place."

"Fine. I'll leave. But you know I'm coming back. How it is isn't OK, and I know we can make it better...........Hmmmm, maybe I should have come in that door over there."

(as everyone looks to where I'm pointing I scoop up some clouds and stuff them in my pocket, like I do each time I'm up here, then give these "bits of Heaven" to others back on Earth who need it)

After I leave Jesus goes to God and tells Him what happened. God says He heard the ruckus and was smiling.

"Look Dad. He just doesn't follow your plan and won't leave well enough alone."

"Maybe he is part of my plan."

"But he can't be controlled like most others. He's a rebel, a loose cannon. I think he's dangerous."

"I remember a young man who once entered a temple and kicked over the tables of money changers in a rage."

"Are you comparing him to Me?"

"I'm just saying that his passion isn't necessarily a bad thing if he thinks he's making things better. I gave him free will and he's actually using it."

"Well, free or not, I took away his pass again to get into Heaven when he dies. He has to be held accountable for what he's done."

"I know. But give him a new one."

"What?!? Why? He's just going to lose it or give it away to someone else."

God looks at His son, smiles and says, "I'm sure he will."