Son: Grow Up and Be a Man

To my son, on a very special birthday, your 13th. You are now officially a teenager, and entering the confusing phase of wanting to grow up yet still sometimes babied in love. At least now you and I can watch all those PG-13 movies together that you pretend you haven't already seen :-)

Last night you compared me to Hellboy, a grown up superhero slayer of anything that gets in his way.....unable to be stopped no matter how many times he gets knocked down in the process.


It has been my intention over the last 4,745 days of your life to show you that we are only as big as the obstacles that stop us, including our biggest scary monster, "fear"..........And that we can become bigger than any obstacle that stands in our way, even this one.

But it is a man's inner dreams and heart-felt passion that give him this super power, not his outer machismo and mind-driven ego.

This only lasts as long as it's being fed by the outside world. The former lasts a lifetime.

My passion to be your father began when I fell in love with you while reading to your mommy's tummy. I loved you just as you were even before I knew who you were.

After 13 years I can now say that you are a magnificent gift to this world. Little children and animals flock to you and older people are glad they're alive just to have met you. Your calls to Great-Grandma Bette are the highlight of her day.

Your greatest gift is your heart........And with your heart, you make others feel special, and you awaken the happiness inside of them.

On this birthday I wish you a lifetime of passion that is bigger than you are; giving you the strength to pursue dreams that are so big others will call you insane and stupid, even a loser. And some may even try to stop you.

These others are those who have given up hope in themselves, or are afraid of the new reality you are creating, because that means they might have to change and be more, which is scary when you believe this is all you are.

Every time someone calls you a loser I hope your spirit shouts back to you, "Dad doesn't think so!"

Every time you think you're a loser and want to give up, I hope you hear my voice telling you you are only a loser when you give up on the dream.....because you lose out on everything the pursuit of that dream brings.


Real dreams come from the inside, and you have them for a reason. The pursuit of them is the path to becoming who you truly are, your best and highest self.

And you would have to be crazy to lose out on this real and lasting happiness, the kind that comes from the inside.

The pursuit of dreams is not fantasy. It is LIFE being FULLY, HAPPILY and very REALISTICALLY......LIVED!

The journey is a test of how big you believe in yourself to achieve them. The more difficult the journey, the more you will grow from it.

Are you ready for the hard truth? In the beginning you are not big enough to achieve it. You have to become more than you are to do it.

Are you tough enough to get knocked down many times? The struggle will take you to your breaking point again and again. No matter how much time and energy you've put into it, how positive, loving and strong you've been.......It just hasn't been enough. You will feel like a failure; that you're not good enough, and you will want to cry.

Are you going to be man enough to accept that the reality is that you are failing because you aren't good enough as you are? This will knock you across the room and down on your knees.........causing such pain that you will want to cry.

Are you man enough not to whine and give up, but to cry and continue?


I KNOW YOU WILL! It will be your passion that makes you believe in yourself once again, making you get back up and continue your quest, making you a passionate CREATOR of a new and better REALITY........becoming BIGGER, STRONGER and SMARTER than you were when you got knocked down.

And you will become so big from this journey that you will cry tears of happiness at who you have become.

This, my son, is the definition of "growing up" and "being a man".

I not only bet that you will, I bet my life that you will define this even better for your son than I have for mine. You are a MAGNIFICENT human being.