Cry Like a Man

I have the movie "Legends of the Fall" on while I'm working this morning, and just saw the scene where Tristan is crying at his brother's grave.

There's a difference between crying like a baby, for what you want.....And crying like a man, for what you've lost.

For three years I cried at the loss of my children from my everyday life. Now I see that immense pain as proof that not only is love very real, but it is as powerful as it is painful.

It was letting this love flow out of my heart and into my head that released me from hell. And it was in letting all this love I felt in me flow out into the world around me that turned my hell into a heaven. (My godson from Ohio who came down to visit this summer)

I still cry sometimes when I think of my children, like when I saw this video. But it's not out of sadness. It's as if the simple thought of them has placed so much new love in my heart that it can't be contained, and bursts out of me in gasps and tears.

*Ironically, I just now got an email from my aunt with the subject line "Sad, sad news". I opened it worried it was about Grandma and wondered if last night was our last "I love you". It was about her dog, Mr. Chips, who passed away this morning.

I just called and she began crying, and when my dad got on the phone he told me his brother's mother-in-law also just passed away.

Death will happen, to us all. I say until that time comes.......we live in love......in so much love that it bursts out of us in gasps and tears, and hurts very badly when what we love is gone.

I'm OK with crying like a man.....because it means I've loved like one.