I do not know where
I was promised to be told during the drop off. Sofia was crying and I didn't want to make it worse. So I left with a promise that hasn't been kept, except for the one I've made to myself....
No matter what, I am responsible for my own thoughts, feelings and actions....and therefore my life. No one else. If I am going to evolve into my highest self, I have no room for negative and limiting emotions....for myself or anyone else.....no matter what. This is crucial, and the difference between growth and stagnation.
I've even told God that I will not do anything Christian (or Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim) to get something from Him, to get into Heaven. I respect Him, myself and my fellow man too much, to give only in order to get something back. This is manipulative and dishonest.
Instead I will give, everything I have, everything I can be......everything for free. Because once I'm gone, I can give no more. And everything I've "gotten" in life can't be brought with me anyway.
So here I am, giving myself naked and honest, with what feels like a gun to my heart. The trigger has been pulled, again and again......yet my heart keeps beating, keeps bleeding.......keeps loving, keeps hurting.
I can't even bring myself to include pictures
The truth is living this way isn't easy, and I would say not recommended for the weak. Yet this is exactly how the weak stop being weak and become strong. And how the strong who are weak become strong again.
It's when you've gone to your absolute limits, when you feel you can't go on any longer, when you KNOW you can't go on any longer........you're breaking apart faster than you can put yourself back together, and it hurts more than ever to hold on
This is when you must. This is when you must have faith in yourself and hold on to the higher world inside of you, refusing to give in to the limiting "what is" in order to create the better, brighter and more unlimited "what could be".
Just as the teacher can't take the test for the student, the coach can't play the game for the athlete....neither can the God live the life for the human anymore than He can eat or think for you and I. He can only advise, nurture, demonstrate......He leaves the making of our lives better up to us.....
It's our responsibility to choose to face this reality and take that responsibility. From the movie Bruce Almighty:
God: Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.
And when you know what you have to do, but can't find the strength to do it......you have to pray. This is my prayer from this morning that I share with you now. I don't know why..........except in maybe giving up my ego and identity and giving in to a deeper spirituality.........I, you, the world.....we all become much better than we are........We become what we could be
Today truly is a brand new day,
the day I've been waiting for all my life.
All my actions today result in the realization of my dominant thoughts and dreams
Today I think, feel and act as if I have everything I want.....bringing everything I truly want into my life because I have first truly and dominantly brought them into my heart and my head
I act, feel and think happy, healthy and abundance of every kind. There are no limits to what I can think, do, be or have
Just for today I allow only positive, powerful, and prosperous thoughts of every kind into my head
These thoughts lead to positive, powerful and prosperous feelings
These feelings lead to positive, powerful and prosperous actions
These actions lead to positive, powerful and prosperous creations
Today I evolve into something I nor this planet has ever seen.....because this planet HAS never seen me before in its 4.5 billion year history.....nor has any other planet
What will I do with this universal uniqueness of me?
Will I languish in the shallows of shallow thoughts, feelings and actions, ignoring this uniqueness and go through the motions of living, day after day until my days are done?
Oh Me! Oh Life!
Walt Whitman
O Me! O life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill'd with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew'd,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring-What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here-that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
Or will I see myself and this day as the special and rare gift it truly is? A day of real growth, where I am determined to be more than I was the day before, that what stopped me yesterday will stop me no more. This is the day I grow legs and climb out onto the shore, giving me an entire new world to explore!
I choose to do this, to grow and evolve into something more....and I wake up tomorrow into something I never was before....with new worlds of even greater possibilities to explore
Since the size of our worlds are the same size as our hearts and minds.......size does matter.....and instead of languishing my life away in the small of the shallows, the pettiness, negativity and limitation.......today I grow legs and climb the highest mountain I can find.......looking down on where I used to be, all around me to where I now am, and up above to where I could go
I go from being broken, crying, falling apart, an amoeba in the stagnant shallows .........to having legs capable of carrying me all the way up the mountain..........to having wings that allow my spirit to soar to higher and higher worlds
Today I become free!
(I wanted to find just the part with Walt's poem, but what I found hit me like a ton of bricks. - turn off the SPIRIT song above.
This is exactly how I teach, and today I appreciated it more than ever.
Every once in awhile a teacher will tell me they wished they could "teach more like me". Even rarer one will say they are going to try. I am very honest when I tell them it's not only very difficult, but very dangerous as well, because you are breaking tradition, and the egos trying to protect it, as well as breaking years of ingrained habits of thought.
But, since we are not in the business of manufacturing standard products but nurturing and enlightening individual people, that is exactly what the job requires......breaking down limitations and building creators of their own consciousness and lives, helping them develop their own ability to crawl out of the shallows and out onto the shore.......giving them the evolutionary tools to discover and explore newer, higher and more exciting worlds
We teach them how to live again
That the dead are whispering to us to be fully alive before we die
And that we must find our own inner voice before it is too late
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