Going to Bed with Audrey and Waking up with Gilda

I used to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock too many times, until I moved my clock across the room, making me get out of bed to turn it off. That's worked pretty well, especially with it being so cold in the mornings lately. Once I'm up, I'm up!

This morning I had a fight with it, refusing to allow it to get me out of bed. I remember Kramer from Seinfeld solving this problem by moving his bed across the room next to his alarm clock. But that makes no sense. Why even set it?

Instead, I did something much more intelligent. I laid there with my hand open and upturned, praying for an alarm clock remote control to materialize, so I could hit the snooze button on it..... But the alarm clock finally won. My evil twin had chosen a station appropriately playing "Cold, Cold, Cold but Leaving Me Hot, Hot, Hot" as I got out of bed into the freezing Florida morning (I know, I know...I've become a thin-blooded whimp).

As I turned off the alarm, I turned on the TV and the drop-dead gorgeous Rita Hayworth kissed me good morning (Hot! Hot! Hot!). Remember in Notting Hill when Julia Roberts says "They go to bed with Gilda but wake up with me"? This is who she was talking about.

But then my lovely Rita danced away with Fred "Lucky Fred" Astaire in "You Were Never Lovelier" (1942), leaving me cold, cold, cold.

Last night I went to bed pretending to be dancing with Audrey Hepburn's child-like inner beauty while watching "Funny Face" (1957). She was really dancing with Fred "Lucky, Lucky, Lucky Fred" Astaire.




So now that I'm up and freezing I know exactly what I'm going to do.......go back to bed and dream I'm Fred Astaire! (I have no idea how to spell what Kramer says during these moments)




p.s. These two women are from a time long ago, when saying "I love you" meant something real and lasting (click here for more on "Saying 'I Love You'"). A time when it wasn't a rarity to find a woman who knows how to truly be strong and independent, yet classy and lady-like at the same time. A gentleman didn't have to rush to open a door or feel awkward giving a flower, because women knew how to appreciate simple chivalrous acts as something they deserved without having to be demanding.

I hope I'm helping bring this back by treating my daughters as the young ladies they are. My 10-year-old son no longer complains about having to open his sisters' car doors and now says "I'll get it Dad". I'm proud of you Brosden!

Hey! My brother's on TV. He was a struggling actor for awhile ("West Wing" his biggest gig) until this commercial. The company liked him so much (tall, blond, blue eyes, and without a doubt the better-looking and funnier of the two of us) that they offered him so much money to work for them he took it.

Before I get emails asking for his number, he's happily married (as are all my siblings....Why God? Why not me?!? LOL). In fact, join me in wishing his wonderful and beautiful wife luck as she's competing for the Mrs. South Carolina (and then I'm sure) Mrs. America title this year. You are a real and wonderful lady from a classy southern family.

Maybe real women still do exist today............That's OK. I'm in no hurry. I'm surrounded by love and truly happy about all the great things happening in my life. The right one will come along when the right one comes along, as they do for all of us who are content being alone without being lonely. Believe me, this is so much healthier and happier than being in a codependent relationship.