Part 1 ~ Those That Can't Do.......Can't Teach

I ran out of time and energy before I could finish my last post, "The Depth of Our Emotions". It's important that I do because of the conflict that was resolved instead of it worsening into what usually happens between adults who aren't getting along;

...a shouting match between "men" of who's going to kick who's butt,

...a contest of insults sent flying via text messages between former lovers

...a disagreement between "civilized" and "intelligent" adults too quickly dissolving into threats of a lawsuit

And all the while the children of the world are watching us....watching us and learning at best how NOT to be.......at WORST that this is how to be........children often live what they learn.......What are they learning from us?

And if you're not involved in one of these scenarios all you have to do is turn on the talk shows, and if you want to see where it's become violent the news.........see who's died because of fighting, who's divorced because of fighting, who's........something...............because of fighting.

And with all this fighting, I say we don't fight enough.......We don't fight enough for what's worth fighting for;

For what could be, what should be, what so easily would be........if we would only fight for it a little bit harder.

We fight with people and over things that simply aren't worth our time. Let them both go and free yourself into a life of higher purpose and higher happiness.

(My ultra conservative sister telling me it's too bad so many people won't listen to my great ideas on education because of how I look. I'm telling her I just want to finish making the pancakes for the family breakfast.)

After waking up to a news clip about a local middle school teacher arrested for sending sex messages to a 14 year-old student.....and then hearing the reaction from parents about how teachers today are terrible, can't be trusted, etc, etc, etc.......I feel the need to stand up for the good teachers everywhere...and fight for the good that WE ARE doing.

I am just one example of the many, many great teachers who CAN be trusted, who TRULY care about ALL the children in our classrooms, and who ARE talented and skilled enough to accomplish the job of reaching EACH and EVERY ONE OF THEM.

Those that can't do.....definitely cannot teach.

(Having the courage to fail in front of everyone is a requirement for all students in my class, as is the ability to recognize other's mistakes and TEACH them how to recognize and correct it themselves. Taylor has this courage to listen and learn as a fellow classmate explains that "11" and "22" are not factors of "222".

Crying two weeks ago over her poor test results, Taylor has committed herself to learning what she doesn't know, and is now testing at the highest math level, fully prepared for the state test this Tuesday.

Positive thinking doesn't always work.......until it's combined with deeply powerful and positive emotion....Then, ANYTHING is truly possible.........If you're courageous enough to cry.....courageous enough to try.....You just have to want it enough.

This is what we do as teachers, parents, coaches....We get to know their hearts....And we get to know them... We learn how to reach them before we can begin to really teach them.)

And if standing up and fighting for all the good teachers out there gets me criticized here and there as a braggart.......who cares if in the end it sheds light on the good that good teachers are really doing, and the possibilities of the improbable growth that good AND bad students are really achieving? (There are no "bad" students, just teachers who are succeeding badly in reaching them.)

And if it means big symbols make big targets, and a few people here and there want to kill me - Fine! - because that means I'm standing up for what's right and possible, and refusing to back down against what's wrong and no longer acceptable. To me it means other good people are recognized, others are reminded of the goodness within them, and the lives of students and children are really improving.

As we adults get better, stronger and smarter......so do our children.

To me it means I am living.......and dying.....FREE!....and for a reason. I might be a rebel, but I'm one WITH a cause!

What's going on in my classroom is an example of what is also going on in many other classrooms, and without a doubt in my mind, what could be in the majority of ALL of them......I am no different and no better than anyone else who makes the same choices for themselves and thinks the same empowering thoughts....and is willing to fight for what's real and what's really important.

And by having the strength to be more of a man while listening to my latest "enemy" shouting insults and threats at me over the phone, it eventually allowed another to be one too. But if there was going to be violence, I was man enough to demand that it be done the right way; face-to-face, and only as a last resort. No more threats. No more insults. And no more B.S.

After I heard him say "mailbox" and thought I heard him say "bomb"....and then I exploded in a roar, "Don't you dare pretend to have the balls to come after me, and then not have the courage to look me in the eyes when you take me out."....

I heard silence. And in that silence I heard his realness for the first time, and was able to ask him what this was really all about. He opened up and told me the woman he loved had been calling him a loser and throwing what I've written in his face until he was just sick of it.

Instead of her being more of a woman, and asking him how they could work things out, she was manipulating and insulting him by asking him what kind of man he was, what kind of father, what kind of person he was, etc, etc.

And we finally talked as men, as brothers. We resolved our differences and he has my full support as he now tries to fight for what really matters....his honor and his home. He will not allow himself to mistreat her, and he will have the self-respect to not accept her mistreating him.

Sometimes this means the relationship has to dissolve if the other person isn't willing to agree to these terms. But can you imagine how many marriages/relationships could be saved if instead of putting each other down, we said, "I married/began dating you because I loved you. I loved you because I saw wonderful things in you. I choose to still see the wonderful things. Let's work on the not so wonderful things together. I'm here for you. I believe in you...in us. And let's do it out of love and respect. Let's talk, not shout."

This is what education is about....the development of higher intelligence to solve problems we will face in our adult lives. Specifically the development of intra and interpersonal intelligence. The ability to first know yourself, and then to know and understand others.

Yes, women can be bullies too. And in an effort to protect themselves from male abuse, some women have consciously and unconsciously become mental, emotional and verbal abusers of men.

How do you overcome bullies without putting them down in return? .....By putting yourself in their shoes - becoming them and feeling what they feel, seeing the world as they see it - without feeling sorry for them - even seeing yourself as they see you - without getting defensive.

I can't express how important this is to me. More children than not are growing up without their mother and father in the same home. Too many fathers feel so hurt by the loss of their children from their everyday world that they choose not to see them at all. And too many children are growing up not knowing or feeling what it's like to be greatly loved, or the miracles great love produces.

I love the scene from the movie "300", where the main character turns to his wife for guidance....and strength. He sees her as his equal, because she is.....And she turns to him and completely supports him in return.

A man should not be brought to his knees by a woman out of manipulation, tricks, abuse and punishment.......And no real woman wants a man whom she can do that too. The same goes for a man doing that to a woman.



Love....Passion....Pain and Victory......Life....and Death....These are the things that should bring us to our knees.



Is it worth it? Is great love and passion more than an ancient fairy tale, the dream of fools and romantics?

I may not have experienced it in marriage...yet.....but I do know it's very real in the real and difficult world of fatherhood and teaching.

Give me all of your fears and failures.


Place them all in my hand.


I'll touch them to my heart.


And together we'll make a plan.


- Adam Stuart (just now - the time for healing is just right now)

As adults we show them how to achieve their highest, most improbable dreams.

We should be protecting them from and slaying their demons of fear and doubt, not creating them, and definitely not becoming the demons in their lives. We give our lives for creating more life in others, especially the children.

And our children show us the way back to achieving our own highest dreams....Through love, innocence and purity....giving us more meaning, more LAUGHTER and LOVE.....more LIFE...... in return.