There is Zen in Fire

This is from "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. Her company, Hay House Publishing, took a gamble on Jerry and Esther Hicks and published "The Law of Attraction". Esther Hicks was then asked to be in the popular movie, "The Secret".

While "The Secret" focused heavily on prosperity and abundance in terms of money, Louise talks a lot more about creating the prosperous thoughts that create a truly happier life.

I share this for anyone out there who isn't happy with some aspect of their life. Like so many of us, I was frustrated with my cycle of repeating one bad relationship after another.

Now with children involved and each failed relationship being more devastating, I felt one more heartache and my heart would literally break, leaving me a broken man. That was if I wasn't already. My greatest source of strength was/is also my greatest weakness, an open and never-ending heart.

When I gave myself I gave it all, being completely vulnerable. I was OK with being this way (and hope to be again) until I realized that the women I was attracting were using this vulnerability to hurt me when they weren't happy. So kind and wonderful in the beginning, they became so ugly by the end with their chronic criticizing, complaining and condemning.

I experienced this on such an abusive level, putting up with it "in the name of love" long after I should have put a stop to it. I kept thinking if I just kept loving enough, things would change. At 35 I had a heart attack, working three jobs while working on my masters and sleeping two nights a week, being a husband trying to make his wife happy, and being a committed father to five children (hers, mine and ours).

Fortunately, after four days in the hospital and several tests, the doctors told me I had no permanent damage and was healthier than they were. They were perplexed, and concluded I had been given a very big warning that I was to take VERY seriously.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), now when I encounter a complaining and criticizing person, I run from them like the plague. I immediately shut down from them emotionally, keeping as much distance from them as possible so I don't get infected.

I didn't know what I was doing wrong to attract these people but knew I had to find out for my own health and happiness and my children's. So for 2007 I resolved to not get serious with anyone for at least a year, and instead spend that time healing and improving myself. Focusing on what was wrong with others wasn't improving my life, and I didn't want to bring my own garbage into anyone else's life.

I would deal with it and clean it up, and give the next relationship a healthier person, hoping it would be with a healthier person ("I attract only healthy relationships" - great line from Louise's CD).

"You Can Heal Your Life" opened my eyes to a lot about myself. But it took opening my ears and mind, A LOT! From January 1st and into March I would listen to her CD anywhere from 1.5 - 4.5 hours a day. I don't know how I did it, I just knew I found a way to incorporate it into my life. It would be the first thing I heard in the morning and last thing at night, and anywhere in between I could fit it in.

I wanted the pain to stop and simply took the pains to fill my head with more intelligent thinking than what I had been doing. The more I did this, the more peace and hope I began to feel, and realized that there is Zen in Fire.

Great results take great intent. Change CAN and DOES happen to average people like you and me everyday; as soon as we get rid of our average thinking and stop limiting ourselves. Good things DO happen to good (thinking) people. Just for fun, I'm going to see if GREAT things can happen GREAT thinking people.

Here are some of her thoughts that helped me, and are helping me still. I put them in first-person to make them more powerful. Today is my parent's 42nd wedding anniversary. Congratulations Mom and Dad. Thanks for being good role models. It gives me the courage to keep believing.

It is Louise's desire that each and every person learns how to use affirmations to create love, peace, joy, prosperity and a sense of well-being for themselves.

Today is a new day. Today is the day for me to begin creating a joyous, fulfilling life. Today is the day I begin to release all my limitations. Today is the day, for me to learn the secrets of life. (This is a published picture of Camargue's horses - I feel like I'm looking into Heaven when I see this.)

I CAN change my life for the better. I already have the tools within me to do this. These tools are my thoughts and beliefs.


An affirmation is anything I say or think. A lot of what I used to normally say and think was quite negative, and did not create good experiences for me. I am retraining my thinking and speaking in positive patterns and I AM CHANGING MY LIFE!

An affirmation opens the way and is the beginning point of change. In essence I am saying to my subconscious mind: I am taking responsibility. I am aware that there is something I CAN DO to change.

Doing an affirmation is consciously choosing words that will help eliminate something from my life or help create something new in my life. *EVERY thought I think and EVERY word I speak is an affirmation.

All of my self talk is a stream of affirmations. I am using affirmations every moment, whether I know it or not. I am creating and affirming my life experiences with every word and every thought.

My beliefs are merely habitual thinking patterns that I learned as a child. Many of them work very well for me. Other beliefs may be limiting my ability to create the very things I say I want in my life.

**What I want and what I believe I deserve may be very different. I need to pay attention to my thoughts so I can begin eliminating the ones that are creating experiences that I do not want in my life.

Every complaint is an affirmation of something I think I don’t want in my life. Every time I get angry I am affirming I want more anger in my life. Every time I feel like a victim I am affirming that I want to continue feeling like a victim.


If I feel that life does not give me what I want in my world, then it is certain I will never get the good things life is giving to others, until I change the way I think and talk. (TBC)

Just One Minute Longer

Sometimes people need us. They need us to be there for them and believe, to hold on and to hope, to enlighten and to encourage.

No one can ever make it alone. And in the times when we're down, we need people. Sometimes to rescue us, as in a newborn baby fighting for his life or a student in a hospital (I know you'll make it Kaleb and Patrice).

As we get older we don't need to be rescued. And when we are looking for someone outside ourselves to do that it's the beginning of a very unhealthy relationship (the victim - rescuer- persecutor cycle). Been there, done that, and only in the beginning is it "romantic". After that it's drama.

Real romance is in resuscitation. Relationships are not difficult among healthy people. It's easy to be a hero to your husband by telling him you believe in him when you'd rather criticize him. It's easy to be hero to your wife by listening to her and what she's really saying when you'd rather just fix the problem and criticize her for how she's saying it.

Real love shows up when you're not feeling very loving, when you're tired and grumpy, when you're too busy to take the time. It's not about not having problems, but in handling them together in a loving spirit.

Tonight my daughter needed me. Sparky and Cotton Cake were missing. And she couldn't possibly go to bed without them. This was a big deal to her, so it was a big deal to me.

We searched high and low, over and under, and over and over again. But without luck. I told her I needed to get back to my research. I had dozens of journals I needed to look through before I went to bed.

I didn't want to keep looking, but she did. I wanted to look for the creator of these web-kinz dolls my children are crazy over and give him a piece of my mind. She just wanted to find her "children" and have "grandpa" tuck them in beside her and say prayers.

So we kept looking, together, believing, hoping, holding on, encouraging each other, and "seeking enlightenment" as to where in the world they could be, until we found them.

Being a hero isn't about saving the world. It's about being there when we'd rather not be.

Continuing to believe when it'd be easier to doubt.

Holding on when we'd rather let go.

Hoping when all seems hopeless.

Encouraging when we feel discouraged.

And finding enlightenment out of darkness and confusion.


I read a Danish proverb in college that said, "A hero is someone who holds on one minute longer."

I've held on to that thought since then, and keep holding on to the idea that the world is full of heroes, if we could just hold on to our dreams, and the dreams and needs of others, just one minute longer.

I told Kaleb's mom tonight how inspired I am by her and her husband, and little Kaleb, who have all been holding on and hoping just one minute longer, just one minute longer.....

You can have all the muscles you want on the outside. It's our inner muscles that measure our true strength, and give us the ability to hold on, just one minute longer, until we find what we're looking for.