Happy Birthday Bella

My Beautiful Bella Butterfly

You're turning 11 today and I can't help but say what a wonderful young girl you are in this world. I love you so much honey so much more than money. You are as funny and cute as a bunny. Our daily time together is floating away like a feather cuz you're in middle school now and I'm not sure how but it would put me in bliss to stop by everyday for a hug and a kiss.


All of my heart loves all of who you are

~ Daddy (aka Mr. Snuffles)
August 10, 2009

(I have no idea why she calls me Mr. Snuffles lately, but I like it. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday and I got these two responses:

"Just your love, that's it."

"My b-day gift was Ohio, Mammoth Cave, the mood ring and the best one is you."

Sofia will sometimes look at me and say, "Daddy you're rich." When I ask her what she means she says, "You're rich in love." (This coming from a 7-year old!)

It took the hard lessons of two failed marriages for me to realize you can't find lasting love outside of yourself no matter how hard you search or how much you give. You must first find it within and give it to yourself. Then you are healthy enough to share it with another who also has found it within and given to themselves.

These are the healthiest of relationships and the ones that last, and it's the type my children and I share. The reason that happiness IS best when shared IS NOT because two needy people have come together in a type of codependent agreement of: "I'll love you if you love me." We know this doesn't last because it's dependent on another person always seeing us as loveable, who is also dependent on us always seeing and treating them lovingly.

It's like two dominoes (or peanut butter people) precariously perched against each other. As one falters so does the other. And before we know it the person we saw as "the one" is now the one calling us all sorts of names, and the "relationship" has fallen apart, which we usually walk away from a little more damaged and weaker than we were before, causing us to continue looking for "that next one" to save us or close up from ever letting "another one" in.

Parenting and teaching is such a great opportunity to develop the inner power and strength of self-appreciation and love in our young. And as we help others develop it we end up helping ourselves develop it too. What we transmit out into the world we receive.

The truth is you can't give what you don't have. How can you give belief and love to others if you don't have it for yourself? You can try, and we all have, but it lasts only as long as your unhealthy partner is giving it to you. When one stops, so do you eventually as they're no longer supplying the "gas" for your car.

So yes Sofia, Daddy is definitely rich in love, just as you, Bella and Brosden are. We have found the most valuable treasure in the world right inside of ourselves. It provides honesty, happiness, health, excitement, and the passion to pursue our purpose and to help others pursue theirs.

And as we share it with each other in this healthy relationship we've built with each other it grows in even greater abundance, only diminishing when we stop giving it to ourselves. That's why I won't let you play the victim Brosden. You're not in the "Little Hope Cemetery" we saw leaving Mammoth Cave.

Little hope? Those residents have NO HOPE! You are NOT dead and I won't let you take up residence in the cemetery of the walking dead. When you make a mistake get excited about the opportunity to learn from it and be more than you were that caused you to make the error.

How do you do this? You choose to believe you can. This involves loving yourself to see mistakes aren't who you are, only where you are. You're not a mistake. Learn from it and you're on your way to where you want to go and who you want to be.

And do it today! There ARE guarantees in life. It's called "Today". What you do with that guarantee is up to you. "Tomorrow" is not guaranteed.

OK. This has turned into a letter to my children. My very first post was for them and in truth I think every post in some way is for them as they get older. When we are young and covered in love, we completely believe we are gifts from above. I cover them in love because they are gifts. We all are gifts. But it's only when we find great love inside ourselves will we believe we will find the passion and strength to develop our gifts and worthy enough to give them to the world.

Cover yourself in love....cover yourself completely and believe in yourself unconditionally. Feel the youthful energy unconditional love provides, and then unleash yourself passionately out onto the world. (at the Palentine Hill where Roman civilization first began)