Extra Fries for the Nice Guy

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Another late night and another Happy Meal for the kids.....And another set of extra fries we didn't order, even after shooting the paper off the straws at each while waiting for our meal (which we cleaned up)

When we left I noticed the extra fries and joked maybe they were trying to get us to leave. Brosden told me that while I was in the bathroom the customer ahead of us was very mean to the person behind the counter. When I came out he noticed I was very nice.

It doesn't matter if you're famous or you're making fries, you're a person and deserve to be treated with respect.

This is easier said than done, but it can be done, even when others aren't making it easy to do. Most of us get caught up in "if...then" relationships (If you're nice to me then I'll be nice to you, loving towards you, etc.)

I was taking my cable boxes back to the company and I love putting the roof down and taking the windows off "The Panther". I also enjoy the freedom of not locking anything when I get out. It's too easy to break in even if you do. I made a stop before the cable company and when I came out I saw a young guy staring at the boxes on the seat.

He looked at me and I stopped and looked at him. He looked back at the boxes, wanting to take them, and when he looked back at me I was smiling. I said, "If you can grab them and run before I can run and grab you, you can have them."

Confused, he looked back at the boxes and at me a couple more times, then walked away.

I wasn't going to judge him for wanting something for nothing, that's human nature. But I did respect him enough to make him earn it.

At the cable company someone cut in front of a very long line, rudely saying he had already been there. Since I was next I walked over to the counter, pushed his boxes aside, set mine down, and said, "If she tells me that I'll wait."

She asked him to wait until she took care of me, and the crowd let out a little "Hurray!" It was one of those movie moments when someone stands up against injustice.

Not wanting him to feel bad I thanked him for understanding when I left. I was stopped outside in the parking lot by someone letting me know they appreciated watching what I did. I thanked her for that and we both left smiling.

I remember after my 2nd divorce I thought being nice was being foolish. The nicer I was and the more I gave, the less it was appreciated and the more I was criticized and taken for granted. I came to the conclusion that "Nice guys finish last", and spent the next 3 years in a hellish nightmare, unable to change who I was and hating myself for it, which hurt my parents deeply who raised me to be this way.

That's why I would dream of dying and going to Heaven, and then causing so much chaos I would get kicked out and sent to the Hell where I belonged.

But out of great failure can come great learning, and I realized that although I couldn't control what others gave me, I could control what I gave to others. I could respect others even if they didn't respect me. I could be nice to them even when they were being mean to me. And I could choose to not harm others who were trying to harm me, physically, emotionally or mentally.

And most of all, I learned that being nice doesn't mean being a doormat.

I used to live in a very bad neighborhood. When I walked away from the bad treatment of my 2nd marriage I walked away with nothing but a few possessions, one of which being a broken-down car.

It was my first inner city experience, and I could tell that the dreams of what these 4th graders saw they could be were so small that they really didn't see any reason to learn in school. So I would stay late trying to contact celebrities to write to them and the "Dream Big, Do Big, and Be Big!" motto was born.

By the time I was done it was usually dark. If my car didn't start I had to walk home, and almost every time someone tried to mug me. This experience allowed me to truly strengthen my resolve to respect everyone I met, overcome fear, and be nice without being a doormat.

My son makes fun of the scar on my forehead, which I got when two guys came around a corner to surprise me. I leaned in the face of the one on my right and said, "Hi boys!" and then headbutted the one blocking my path in front.

And kept walking. I didn't throw my shoulders back challenging their toughness. I didn't hunch over and run away. I kept walking as if nothing happened (although inside I was saying, "Please don't hear the click of a gun. Please, please! What am I going to do, duck and roll? This isn't a fire drill!?!?."

They tried to hurt me. It didn't work. I let it go........And instead of being a doormat or fighting back in ugliness, hate and anger.....I actually strengthened my ability to see humor in a very intense experience.

We can't control if others choose to treat us poorly, but we can control how long we allow them to....and we can be nice, and maybe even humorous about it.

I'm going to lose my job, but not my life? I can handle that.

I AM going to lose my life, but I'm still breathing right now? Then I still have a chance.

When I do die I might not get into Heaven? Then I better make sure I'm doing things for the right reasons, and not trying to get something from someone, even God.

I don't have my children all the time but I do have them right now? Then there's going to be laughter and love all around us......and perhaps we'll get extra fries with that.

Listen to this song as often as you can.........................................................What SPIRIT is.......man CAN BE!!!!!