This is My Boy

My son is one of the youngsters caught using the "F" word that inspired my "The 'F' Word" post. Middle School is full of this word, probably because middle schoolers entering pubescent adolescence are full of insecurities.

Surrounded by classmates who have already started to stop dreaming and doing big, their animalistic/human nature absurdly tries to keep others from continuing to follow their own dreams to freedom. If someone doesn't reawaken their self-worth, they will continue to do this as adults.

Crabs in a trap do this. Once the food is gone, and some crabs try to leave through the opening at the top of the trap, other crabs will keep pulling them back down. The harder the crabs fight to get out, the harder the others try and stop them, even pulling off their legs if they have to.

Brosden can do things physically most others can't do. He saw this scene from "Singin' in the Rain" long ago and joined gymnastics and cheer leading to learn how to do it. He loves to have fun and and likes putting smiles on others' faces as he does flips and somersaults off the walls at school.



However, a few insecure kids feel even less secure about their own abilities as they watch him, and instead of asking him how they can learn to do it too, they are trying to make him feel less about himself by spreading ugly rumors. He is now the gay cheer leader at school, and choosing to fight back by using the "F" word.

Wednesday night I showed him the clip from "Roadhouse", where undersized bar bouncer Patrick Swayze is constantly being told he's not big enough to be a bouncer. His reply is, "opinions vary". Other peoples' opinions don't matter when our own opinion of ourselves is strong. When we don't feel good about ourselves, other peoples' opinions about us mean everything.



The next morning on our walk with Shanghai we talked some more. We talked about how instead of dreading today he could look forward to it because he feels good enough about himself to know he can look at his attackers and say, "opinions vary".

Instead of his bullies making him look bad, Brosden can keep his cool and use the same situation to make himself look even better and more admirable for not attacking back or using the "F" word. He can also feel enough self-worth to know he does not have to put up with abuse, and can go to a counselor to get the bullying to stop without feeling weak.

As we talked he kept finding different types of sticks to bring back to the house. He told me I should find some too. I told him I was enjoying finding my son.

Who he was.....

What he was feeling...

And how much I really loved him....

I told him that on these walks, "I find you."

He felt so good he raised his sticks in the air and shouted, "I am Spartacus!"


This is my boy. He's the one in the middle of the video and the blur that flies across the screen. I am proud of him not because he can do this. I am proud of him for learning how to do something he wanted to learn how to do. And I am proud of him as he learns to keep following his heart no matter what others think.

This is my boy. I'm here for him as he develops the inner strength to resist giving up on his dreams, and increases his determination to make more of them come true.

Only by having the courage to freely pursue his dreams will he ever be truly free.