Don't Tell Me That! ~ Part 1

This is really special. But before I write about that I want to copy a comment I made on the last blog, "You Never Really Die...If You Really Lived"

This comment by Tristan and all of the others are more than wonderful, and I wish I could build upon and thank every single person who takes the time to comment. It is in this "building upon" of each others' thoughts and appreciation that shows us the right roads and gives us the courage to travel down the right ones....because the right roads often have the fewest travelers.....and traveling alone is lonely and scary.


And it is my intention to go to everyone's own blog and either read what you have written or just get to know you better by seeing what's on your page and commenting..........However, Sofia, like her sister Bella has been doing, is now asking that I spend "on-wley one minute" on the computer when I'm with her.


When the girls aren't with me I'm trying to get caught up on grad school.......But please know that as much as what I write and share seems to impact and inspire you, you do the same for me, even if I'm unable to let you know it......So Thank You VERY much!

Ok. Back to what I thought was so special, and to what turned into a 5 part series. Sofia went back to her mother's yesterday, and after three nights of being with her, I couldn't sleep.

Before she left she was trying out the software I bought for my 5th graders when they return from Spring Break (which is now today). It's called "Brain Games" and has many different levels, which is appropriate because research shows that by the third grade there can be years of developmental difference between children in the same grade.

So why are we trying to teach them all the same stuff at the same level in the same way??????? (because it's nearly impossible if you want to keep your job and your sanity)

(Katie - TOP 5% of our country's readers / Kristen - LOWEST scoring in the entire 5th grade at the beginning of the year /
Courtney - STRAIGHT A student / Amanda - tested as GIFTED)

ALL of them - the BEST speakers in the class, Kristen included, proving EVERYONE has GREAT talent within them. Some at the surface, some much deeper. As teachers and parents we don't stop digging for it just because it's hard to find. We stop digging when we've found it. Then we begin shining it up and developing it.

Kristen watching Raymond demonstrating his understanding of the moon's phases

Then, ON HER OWN, wandering off and demonstrating her understanding in an entirely new way, and then teaching it to us!

Don't tell me she can't learn! Don't tell me she isn't smart....isn't BRILLIANT in AT LEAST ONE WAY!

The "magic" behind this transformation is working with her EVERY day UNTIL she believed it too. When she would quit early and start cleaning up I asked her if that's what her biggest dream was, to clean. I told her I would support and help her achieve whatever she wanted, but not to look me in the eyes and tell me her greatest dream was to clean, and if it was there was no way she had the skills to own her own cleaning company.

She was the farthest behind, which meant she had to start giving the greatest effort. The rich get richer because they do more of what makes people rich (investing, saving more than what they spend, etc). The same is true for the healthy get healthier and the smart get smarter. She had to stop doing the things that put her in this situation, like giving up when things got hard, doubting herself, and thinking school stinks.

It doesn't do anyone any good to feel sorry for them. It does wonders when you feel strong for them, believe in them v criticize, and help them think better thoughts v. hurt them further by thinking negatively about them.

(continued on Don't Tell Me That! ~ Part 2)